Tiger Woods

[Heavenly Tiger]

Richard Pryor used to joke about the difference of being married to a white woman, and married to a black woman.
Tiger's lucky his wife is white, she just hit him with the golf club.
If he'd been married to a black woman, she'd have shoved that club up his ass!
THAT would really make the news!

[2Dogs]

Unbelievably, comments are still enabled on Tiger's website, and he's really getting slammed on his own website. There is a section called "Dear Tiger" where Tiger answers questions from fans. On Nov 20th this question/answer was posted:

Do you enjoy playing so far away from home? I can imagine that, now that you have children, it's got to be hard to be so far away from them.
â?? Rupert from Houston
You're exactly right, Rupert. Now, it's very difficult to leave Elin and the children, and I'm sure it's only going to get tougher. Once Sam and Charlie start school, it won't be easy to take them out of class for a week-long trip. A veteran pro once told them it's tough to leave them as babies, but once they ask you not to go, it breaks your heart. That's something I'll always remember.
http://web.tigerwoods.com/news/article/200911207694988/deartiger/

[Barbossa]

Unbelievably, comments are still enabled on Tiger's website, and he's really getting slammed on his own website. There is a section called "Dear Tiger" where Tiger answers questions from fans. On Nov 20th this question/answer was posted:

Do you enjoy playing so far away from home? I can imagine that, now that you have children, it's got to be hard to be so far away from them.
â?? Rupert from Houston
You're exactly right, Rupert. Now, it's very difficult to leave Elin and the children, and I'm sure it's only going to get tougher. Once Sam and Charlie start school, it won't be easy to take them out of class for a week-long trip. A veteran pro once told them it's tough to leave them as babies, but once they ask you not to go, it breaks your heart. That's something I'll always remember.
http://web.tigerwoods.com/news/article/200911207694988/deartiger/

I checked out the message boards, amazing. I'm sure Tiger, if he even visits his website these days, doesn't open the Message Boards page.

[crown]

Wow

I thought this guy was a bore fest before this

He is human after all

and then some

Since there are kids involved, I hope they will be protected from the fall out

[neilmpenny]

I checked out the message boards, amazing. I'm sure Tiger, if he even visits his website these days, doesn't open the Message Boards page.

A lot of content is from idiot posters bickering amongst themselves.

[duster]

Dump the loser. She's too pretty for him anyway. It always amazes me when guys have beautiful, successful, seemingly intelligent women and don't appreciate them. I guess some people just have to learn the hard way....

Money can be an amazingly effective panty-remover.

[ichabodius]

A lot of content is from idiot posters bickering amongst themselves.

Sounds familiar.

[Nelliebean]

Money can be an amazingly effective panty-remover.

Sounds like you have a new t-shirt, Duster!

[Spooky_Stone]

Last night on MSNBC (I think Keith O's show) it was mentioned that evidently he loved taking pics of his engorged, um, member. Just how much is he in love with himself??

Anyway those pics should be rattling through the Internet any time now.

The word engorged freaks me out and now it's added to Tiger. He's a big headed toss pot and I feel sorry for his wife and kids. They are the ones who were left in the dark about these women

[neilmpenny]

Maybe the problem with him and the Mrs is that he is not engorged enough?

[endsleigh03]

Last night on MSNBC (I think Keith O's show) it was mentioned that evidently he loved taking pics of his engorged, um, member. Just how much is he in love with himself??

Anyway those pics should be rattling through the Internet any time now.

Ok, this is now a must see.
Little Tiger is a little arrogant

[Jod6cindy]

I loathe people devoid of integrity. He is definitely one.

[Nelliebean]

it was mentioned that evidently he loved taking pics of his engorged, um, member.

What? Don't you have a picture of your best friend in your wallet?

[Bidmor]

Now we have piling on by "fellow" golfers: http://sports.yahoo.com/golf/blog/de...rn=golf,207961
Smacks of sour grapes.

I dunno, but the cynical part of me is thinking the whole thing is El Tigre's Watergate...that is to say that one upscale domestic disturbance (and do we know if the one in question is the first one which occurred at the Woods residence?) starts Tiger's ostensible house of blond cards to slowly begin their free fall in order for one or more endorsement contracts to be canceled due to morals clause (or with just cause in the public eye)...only because one or two companies determined Tig had worn out his commercial value to them? Letting the initial incident come to light then paying a few bucks out to several of women, and now a few "fellow" pro golfers, stir the brew with unsubstantiated statements and a questionable recording would be a cheap way to dump Woods without paying him off.

I don't dismiss out of hand that Woods has a blond at every course and that possibly Elin knew about her husband's off-the-course activities and it's all an open secret in the industry, but of any major company which has a Tiger Woods line of whatever...don't you think the initial incident would have been kept quiet if said company or companies wanted to protect their investment?

After all, one of the golfers in the story linked above states that "This is no surprise to anyone who knows Tiger".

[Giada]

His texts are pure idiocy ... refers to himself as a, "blasian." His yacht is named, Privacy with the name now covered ...

Stick a fork in him he's done ...

Bets on he is unable to rehab is image, with or without a rehab ...

[neilmpenny]

Meanwhile, The National Enquirer is reporting that Woods may have fathered a love child and that one of his mistresses had an abortion.

http://www.news.com.au/adelaidenow/s...006343,00.html

[herekittykitty]

Meanwhile, The National Enquirer is reporting that Woods may have fathered a love child and that one of his mistresses had an abortion.

http://www.news.com.au/adelaidenow/s...006343,00.html

workin' hard over there mate?

...says kitteh, pretending to work. ahem.

[neilmpenny]

workin' hard over there mate?

...says kitteh, pretending to work. ahem.

Workin hard at creating meaningful content toots. Still fucking around with the colour thingy?

[herekittykitty]

Workin hard at creating meaningful content toots. Still fucking around with the colour thingy?

yer work is paying off! top quality content right thar!

Chronotropic incompetence is nothing to fuck around with mate!

[neilmpenny]

yer work is paying off! top quality content right thar!

Chronotropic incompetence is nothing to fuck around with mate!

Bah! So you cannot tell the difference between a green light and a red light. Big deal.

[Nali]

You knew it was coming and you knew the title would be stupid because all the good double entendre has already flown - but the Tiger Wood's porno will be called Tiger's Wood.

No truth to the rumors that Tiger wants to play himself. FORE!


Tyler Knight to play 'Tiger' in parody

Press Release

Posted Dec 7th 2009 02:25PM by Wade Garrett

LOS ANGELESâ??Adam & Eve Pictures on Monday revealed it is shooting a XXX movie about embattled golf superstar Tiger Woods and his numerous liaisons, entitled Tigerâ??s Wood.

Directed by David Lord and starring adult performer Tyler Knight as â??Tigerâ?� and Kayden Kross as his long-suffering wife, Adam & Eve said the tongue-in-cheek flick should hit stores within eight weeks.

â??Tyler Knight is the only actor who could play this part,â?� Lord said. â??I thought of him immediately when we were writing the script. Once Tyler signed on, everything immediately fell into place.â?�

â??With the popularity of adult parody films as well as celebrity scandal, this project is a natural,â?� said Meredith Christopher, executive producer for Adam & Eve Pictures. â??Every day, there seems to be some new development or girlfriend exposed, and it really has captured the attention of the public. Thatâ??s what we want to focus on with Tigerâ??s Wood.â?�

This fun, sexy romp will focus on â??Tigerâ?� and his multiple mistresses and give audiences a chance to see Adam & Eveâ??s interpretation of events in X-rated detail.

â??This really is a story that has captured Americaâ??s attention,â?� continues Christopher. â??Weâ??re excited to bring it to the public in such a short amount of timeâ?¦ and we may have another release depending on what happens the near future.â?�

[neilmpenny]

You knew it was coming and you knew the title would be stupid because all the good double entendre has already flown - but the Tiger Wood's porno will be called Tiger's Wood.

No truth to the rumors that Tiger wants to play himself. FORE!


Tyler Knight to play 'Tiger' in parody

Press Release

Well you are a kinky fucker, and I say more power to you! However, not sure I want to sit through a porno with a Tiger imitator and his junk banging look-alikes.

Seen that series of mature fuckers from the Netherlands? Now that is first class filth!

[Jack-O-Lantern]

What? Don't you have a picture of your best friend in your wallet?

...that's only to be brought out on special occasions though! Like, um, when I need to remind myself of former glory!

[Ted Challinor]

BBC: 'Lawyers for US golfer Tiger Woods have obtained a UK injunction preventing certain information purportedly about him being published.
The order was granted by a judge at the High Court in London, and concerns alleged information which cannot be disclosed for legal reasons.'

Crickey....further proof that the UK doesn't really have a free press. Oh well, there's no way I'm going to buy the News of the [Screws] World this sunday then...
....any of you guys states-side can enlighten us limeys what this 'information' might be about?
PS - Any chance that Tiger's Wood will be out on DVD in Region 2 format???

[Barbossa]

BBC: 'Lawyers for US golfer Tiger Woods have obtained a UK injunction preventing certain information purportedly about him being published.
The order was granted by a judge at the High Court in London, and concerns alleged information which cannot be disclosed for legal reasons.'

Crickey....further proof that the UK doesn't really have a free press. Oh well, there's no way I'm going to buy the News of the [Screws] World this sunday then...
....any of you guys states-side can enlighten us limeys what this 'information' might be about?
PS - Any chance that Tiger's Wood will be out on DVD in Region 2 format???

Heck, just access the U.S. online rags i.e TMZ. They'll tell you all you want to know.

[Bidmor]

I've read that Fox is already developing an animated series. The working title is "Putty Putty Bang Bang".

(I shan't repeat the current email going around involving Elin becoming the new PGA leader.)

[neilmpenny]

BBC: 'Lawyers for US golfer Tiger Woods have obtained a UK injunction preventing certain information purportedly about him being published.
The order was granted by a judge at the High Court in London, and concerns alleged information which cannot be disclosed for legal reasons.'

Crickey....further proof that the UK doesn't really have a free press. Oh well, there's no way I'm going to buy the News of the [Screws] World this sunday then...
....any of you guys states-side can enlighten us limeys what this 'information' might be about?
PS - Any chance that Tiger's Wood will be out on DVD in Region 2 format???

They are blocking the pictures. The funny thing is his lawyer stated that it is not an admission on their behalf that the pictures actually exist. WTF?

[Heavenly Tiger]

I don't watch golf. He should have kept his pants zipped or at least more discriminating. The tabloids need to quit making a big thing out of it. The kids are the main concern and that's my 2 cents worth.

[2Dogs]

Recent post on Tiger's website:

12/11/2009
Tiger Woods taking hiatus from golf

By Tiger Woods


I am deeply aware of the disappointment and hurt that my infidelity has caused to so many people, most of all my wife and children. I want to say again to everyone that I am profoundly sorry and that I ask forgiveness. It may not be possible to repair the damage I've done, but I want to do my best to try.

I would like to ask everyone, including my fans, the good people at my foundation, business partners, the PGA Tour, and my fellow competitors, for their understanding. What's most important now is that my family has the time, privacy, and safe haven we will need for personal healing.

After much soul searching, I have decided to take an indefinite break from professional golf. I need to focus my attention on being a better husband, father, and person.

Again, I ask for privacy for my family and I am especially grateful for all those who have offered compassion and concern during this difficult period.

[Carrera_3.2]

Not Blasian, it is CAUBLASIAN, that he called himself. Now I imagine he is too busy saying "awww---fuckkkk me", to worry about what people may be calling him. Carrera.

[Barbossa]

Recent post on Tiger's website:

12/11/2009
Tiger Woods taking hiatus from golf

By Tiger Woods


I am deeply aware of the disappointment and hurt that my infidelity has caused to so many people, most of all my wife and children. I want to say again to everyone that I am profoundly sorry and that I ask forgiveness. It may not be possible to repair the damage I've done, but I want to do my best to try.

I would like to ask everyone, including my fans, the good people at my foundation, business partners, the PGA Tour, and my fellow competitors, for their understanding. What's most important now is that my family has the time, privacy, and safe haven we will need for personal healing.

After much soul searching, I have decided to take an indefinite break from professional golf. I need to focus my attention on being a better husband, father, and person.

Again, I ask for privacy for my family and I am especially grateful for all those who have offered compassion and concern during this difficult period.

Tiger's clearly too chickenshit to show his face. Rumor has it that he's going to be chillin' in Sweden with Elin.

[Meli]

On a different note:

What Tiger Woods and baby seals have in common?
They both get clubbed by Scandinavians.

The police asked Tigerâ??s wife how many times she hit him.
â??I donâ??t know exactlyâ?¦put me down for a 5.â?�

Phil Mickelson contacted Tigerâ??s wife to pick up tips on how to beat Tiger.

Whatâ??s the difference between a car and a golf ball?
Tiger can drive a ball 400 yards.

Tiger Woods wasnâ??t seriously injured in the crash,
but heâ??s still below par.

What were Tiger Woods and his wife doing out at 2:30 in the morning?
They went clubbing

Tiger Woods crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree.
He couldnâ??t decide between a wood and an iron.

Ping just offered Elin an endorsement contract for her own set of drivers;
to be named Elin Woods��clubs you can beat Tiger with.�

Tiger just changed his nickname but still kept it in the cat familyâ??his new name?:
Cheetah

Tiger was driving an Escalade, can he blame the accident on his caddy?

Hello, Mr. Woods. This is the On Star operator. We have detected that an angry person has put a golf club through your window.
Weâ??ve called Nike. A new club is on its way.

Who among us doesnâ??t hear a car crash and immediately grab the closest golf club we can find??!!

Tigerâ??s new movie:
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Hydrant.

Tiger Woods owns lots of expensive cars.
Now he has a hole in one.

Poor choice;
he should have gone with the driver.

What do golf balls and Tigers women have in common?
He likes them white and dimpled.

the reason why Tiger is having an affair:
His wife gives him Buicks but his mistress gives him hummers

Tiger played the driveway wrong,
everyone knows it breaks to the left.

Barbara Waltersâ?? Special â?? Ten Most Interesting People of the Year â?? will feature Tiger Woods and the 9 whores heâ??s bangin.

Heâ??s been out playing the back nine.

Whatâ??s the penalty for getting it in the wrong hole?
Ask Tiger, he knows.

*snort*

[Carrera_3.2]

LMAO...

[Jerseysucks]

He did wrong, the women are coming out of the woodwork, he's being blasted by the media, more likely than not going to get a divorce.
Do you know where he's going to be this time next year? Playing in a tournament with
people crammed in to watch him play making commercials all will be forgiven because he can hit a golfbal.
I give you a few words: Michael Vick, Frank Gifford, that basketball announcer who bit the girl on the back, Lawrence Taylor etc....
People will forget because he's a celebrity.

[neilmpenny]

He did wrong, the women are coming out of the woodwork, he's being blasted by the media, more likely than not going to get a divorce.
Do you know where he's going to be this time next year? Playing in a tournament with people crammed in to watch him play making commercials all will be forgiven because he can hit a golfbal.
I give you a few words: Michael Vick, Frank Gifford, that basketball announcer who bit the girl on the back, Lawrence Taylor etc....
People will forget because he's a celebrity.

Absolutely! It will start with Tiger on outings with the family with the obligatory photo's in the media. Then he will be on the couch chatting to Opera, or even better, sitting on the couch at home holding the Mrs hand with both of them making the right noises.

The Masters in coming up soon and he needs to play one tournament before that to get match practice.

So all this should happen during the next couple of months.

There is no way he is going to miss the Masters. I doub't he will be going back to Australia alone anytime soon.

[midnitelamp]

tiger was doing ok till he ran into bob hope on mike douglas.

[neilmpenny]

I've had sloppy seconds and thirds (aka GF's who were previously married or had previous BF's). They were quite delicious.

I refuse to stir another guys porridge.

Tiger mauled on his website in PR bloodbath


http://www.theaustralian.com.au/news...-1225809583239

[Bidmor]

Elin Nordegren has just now taken the lead in PGA winnings, beating the previous leader who played the wrong hole.

[jaylene]

I used to go to TMZ website every day
to check up on the celeb's but all it is
now is Tiger Woods and its just getting old
to me. Ok so he had a bunch of affairs so
did my ex but it wasn't all over the internet.
Guess what I'm saying is whats in this story
thats new and never happened before?
Not trying to be mean honestly just trying
to understand.

[Nicki]

He did wrong, the women are coming out of the woodwork, he's being blasted by the media, more likely than not going to get a divorce.
Do you know where he's going to be this time next year? Playing in a tournament with
people crammed in to watch him play making commercials all will be forgiven because he can hit a golfbal.
I give you a few words: Michael Vick, Frank Gifford, that basketball announcer who bit the girl on the back, Lawrence Taylor etc....
People will forget because he's a celebrity.

Yep...thats exactly what I think. Good observation!

[stinkythejokedog]

Poor little feller...just wanted a some poontang on the side...well a lot of poon..but still...

[cindyt]

I hate golf. Never liked Tiger Woods, and now dislike him even more; in fact he and those like him disgust the hell out of me.

[stinkythejokedog]

What disgusts me more are the hypocrites in the media who are profiting from this guys problems...who have had multiple affairs too!

BTW, if your dad glued a golf club to your hand before you could walk
and you virtually grew on a golf course...you might have missed a typical childhood and might have few kinks too...

[cindyt]

What disgusts me more are the hypocrites in the media who are profiting from this guys problems...who have had multiple affairs too!

BTW, if your dad glued a golf club to your hand before you could walk
and you virtually grew on a golf course...you might have missed a typical childhood and might have few kinks too...

Got a point there, Stinky.

[neilmpenny]

Poor little feller...just wanted a some poontang on the side...well a lot of poon..but still...

Now he is getting the tang.

[Sam]

There was once a time in America when women would have been ashamed to come forward and tell the world they'd fucked a married man, or any man, for that matter. I think these whores are just as guilty as he is!
I've fucked many married men in my life, and I never felt a need to tell their wives.
There is one that's about to piss me off though.....

[crimson and clover]

Man, I can't wait for something to come along to knock Tiger off the news. Hopefully it won't be something bad

[midnitelamp]

Man, I can't wait for something to come along to knock Tiger off the news. Hopefully it won't be something bad

they will wring it out for all it is worth and then some.

cheap programming for wasteland presents.

[cleanskull]

[radiojane]

There was once a time in America when women would have been ashamed to come forward and tell the world they'd fucked a married man, or any man, for that matter. I think these whores are just as guilty as he is!

I'm glad someone else had this thought. It wasn't as if these women didn't KNOW he was married.

I miss discretion. It was a beautiful thing....