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Thread: Tiger Woods

  1. #1
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  2. #2
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    Sounds good to me...

    Now I can watch the telecasts without having to listen to the announcers lining up to kiss his ass every 5 minutes.

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ron Burgundy View Post
    Sounds good to me...

    Now I can watch the telecasts without having to listen to the announcers lining up to kiss his ass every 5 minutes.
    Amen, brother.

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ron Burgundy View Post
    Sounds good to me...

    Now I can watch the telecasts without having to listen to the announcers lining up to kiss his ass every 5 minutes.
    Quote Originally Posted by deathybrad View Post
    Amen, brother.
    Tell it like it is! That commentary is so woeful, it just makes me ill listening to it, so I have mute it.

    Bunch of arse kissers, you would think no one else was playing.
    Because one is enough, when it's you. Show where you're headed in the ultimate fashion climax.
    Fits so tight it shows all you've got... you're a walking turn-on. And treats your body as well as she does.
    Easy on, easy off, quick as the flick of her tongue. Sexy cool crinkle cloth for those hot nights to come. Designed with your desires in mind... she'll eat you alive in it..."
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  5. #5
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    So sad for him. Means he'll probably only make a kazillion this year, instead of his usual kafreakinzillion.

    He'll probably have to resort to a hybrid.



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    LOL @ kafreakinzillion!

  7. #7
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    I think Tiger is brilliant. Yes the announcers are less than objective at times, but what really pisses me off is that even though he is 17,657 miles from the hole, every time he hits a ball some dork yells "Get in the hole". It is plain irritating.
    I am a sick puppy....woof woof!!!

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    Sorry folks but I don't get golf and I don't get the big deal over Tiger Woods or any golf pro... sorry it just seems like grown men (and woman) hitting a ball about some grass.........

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    Tiger Woods Seriously Injured

    GLF-Woods-Accident, Urgent
    Urgent
    Update:APNewsNow. For global distribution.
    Eds:APNewsNow.
    INDEX: Sports
    Tiger Woods injured in car accident outside Florida home; highway
    patrol says charges pending
    ORLANDO, Fla. - Authorities say Tiger Woods has been seriously
    injured in a car wreck in Florida.
    The Florida Highway Patrol says Woods hit a fire hydrant and a
    tree as he pulled out of his driveway early Friday in his 2009
    Cadillac sport utility vehicle.
    Woods was taken to Health Central Hospital. His condition was not
    immediately known, though the news release said his injuries were
    serious.
    The highway patrol says the crash is still under investigation,
    and charges are pending. However, the highway patrol said the crash
    was not alcohol-related.
    (The Associated Press)
    14:54ET 27-11-09
    Fuck Off. We're Full.

  10. #10
    this doesn't sound good. Hopefully he'll be okay.

  11. 11-27-2009, 11:58 AM

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    I don't understand how bouncing off a fire hydrant and a tree while pulling out of your driveway can result in serious injuries.
    Fuck Off. We're Full.

  13. #12
    I didn't catch that part. Maybe he was speeding away. He could have a long driveway.

  14. #13
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    Hmmmm, how do you hit a fire hydrant and a tree just by pulling out?? They were real quick to say alcohol wasnt related...

    Hope it's nothing serious though.
    ____________________________

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  15. 11-27-2009, 12:03 PM

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    Tiger Woods Seriously Injured in Car Crash Early Friday Morning

    Posted Nov 27, 2009 2:36PM By Michael David Smith (RSS feed)
    Filed Under: PGA


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    Tiger Woods was seriously injured Friday morning in a car accident, the Florida Highway Patrol says.

    The Orlando Sentinel reports that Woods pulled out of his driveway at about 2:25 a.m., struck a fire hydrant and drove into a tree on a neighbor's property. Orange County Fire Rescue received a call for aid at Woods' residence at 2:28 AM ET.

    Woods, who was driving a 2009 black Escalade, was taken to Health Central Hospital in Ocoee, Florida, in serious condition.

    WESH 2 News reports that Woods has been treated for facial lacerations. According to WESH, the Florida Highway Patrol has determined that alcohol was not a factor in the crash.

    According to the Sentinel, Health Central Hospital said at approximately 2:30 PM ET that Woods was not currently at the hospital, but it was not clear whether he was treated and released.
    ____________________________

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    "A source told WESH 2 News that Woods has been treated for facial lacerations."
    http://www.wesh.com/news/21740162/de...01210111272009

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    Yikes, the first report I saw said he was in serious condition, hope he's ok, but it'll be interesting to see how it all plays out.

    http://cbs2.com/national/tiger.woods...2.1337175.html

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    Why would he be speeding down his driveway, presumably leaving his house, at 2:30 in the morning?!?!

    Maybe his wife was the real cause of his injuries...
    Fuck Off. We're Full.

  20. 11-27-2009, 12:08 PM

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    golfer tiger woods released from hospital after being injured in car accident-local florida mayor tells cnn

    golfer tiger woods released from hospital after being injured
    in car accident-local florida mayor tells cnn
    Fuck Off. We're Full.

  22. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by duster View Post
    I don't understand how bouncing off a fire hydrant and a tree while pulling out of your driveway can result in serious injuries.
    Billy Martin was killed pulling out of his driveway (dead drunk) and Willie Shoemaker the Jockey was paralyzed when he rolled his car pulling out of his driveway. So it unfortunately does happen.
    I can't understand the charges pending if no booze was involved?
    My wife worked Beth Page Black and the US Open this year and she said he was a hurting puppy and was limping badly when not on camera.
    I hope he isn't having pain med issues. I do hope he is OK.
    Regards,
    Mary

  23. #20
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    I just found this on the Huffington Post. It would appear that Tiger has been letting someone else play with his niblick! maybe this is why he was zooming off in a huff last night? http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/1..._n_370472.html
    regards,
    Mary

  24. 11-27-2009, 12:45 PM

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    Sorry to hear this, however I believe sports figures don't deserve the attention they get. We've put up with Arnold Palmer around here for years, and I don't see the big deal. Another one-Ben Rothlisberger, Steeler, who got paid $9 million, I heard, for one season, and has been out injured most of the season so far. Most people, in real life, get rid of slackers, and just because they're not doing well this year, he has a lawsuit pending, and cracked his head riding a motorcycle (I heard) drunk in 2005, he's gonna sit back and collect on his name alone.
    You are not a color to me. You are not a religion,sexual orientation, age or IQ. You are not a male or female. You are not political, nor pretty or ugly. You are my brother and sister, and I love you no matter what you may be.-I was Goth before they called it Goth.

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    Quote Originally Posted by lolly89 View Post
    Are we going to have the debate as to whether the wife slashed his breaks
    You know I never even went there mentally LOL! I was more thinking he could not discuss the tryst one second longer and he tore out of there.
    There are now, as of three seconds ago, conflicting reports being given on his condition. His agent allegedly said Tiger was fine but moments ago when asked about Tiger's condition he now has no comment. CBS insinuated that he might not have actually been released from the hospital. The hospital is supposed to make a statement within the hour on his condition and Bama and Auburn are tied coming up on the half!
    regards,
    Mary

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    GOLF-WOODS/STATEMENT (URGENT):Golfer Woods in good condition after minor crash-office

    MIAMI, Nov 27 (Reuters) - The world's number one golfer,
    Tiger Woods, was treated in hospital and released in good
    condition after suffering injuries in a car accident in Florida
    on Friday, his office said.

    In a statement read by CNN, the golfer's office said he had
    left hospital after being in a "minor" car crash.

    "He was admitted, treated and released today in good
    condition," it said in a statement.
    (Reporting by John O'Callaghan, Editing by Frances Kerry)



    [ ===== DateLine ========== ]
    2009-11-27 20:52:16 GMT (Reuters)

    (The 'Bama - Auburn rivalry is what makes college football great)
    Fuck Off. We're Full.

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    Quote Originally Posted by STsFirstmate View Post
    You know I never even went there mentally LOL! I was more thinking he could not discuss the tryst one second longer and he tore out of there.
    There are now, as of three seconds ago, conflicting reports being given on his condition. His agent allegedly said Tiger was fine but moments ago when asked about Tiger's condition he now has no comment. CBS insinuated that he might not have actually been released from the hospital. The hospital is supposed to make a statement within the hour on his condition and Bama and Auburn are tied coming up on the half!
    regards,
    Mary


    I know. How can he be in "serious condition", and then released?

  29. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by STsFirstmate View Post
    I just found this on the Huffington Post. It would appear that Tiger has been letting someone else play with his niblick! maybe this is why he was zooming off in a huff last night? http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/1..._n_370472.html
    regards,
    Mary
    What a shocker, because sports stars are famous for being monogamous.....

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    We are all just simple human beings, everybody hurts.
    Carolyn(1958-2009) always in my heart.

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    I'm glad he's okay, but I noticed something with the news channels. Why all of a sudden are the announcers trying use phrases like they use in England? First on CNN, the guy kept saying "taken to hospital" instead of "taken to THE hospital" like we say it over here. It really bugged me, sounded pretentious (I don't think the English are pretentious, but I think when Americans adopt European phraseology they are being pretentious). Anyway, I changed to Fox News and that guy was doing it TOO!

    Also newcasters change pronunciations all the time too. The main one I remember is around 9-11 time, they started calling the Marriott Hotels "Mari-utt" with a small "u" sound, when it had always been "Mari-OTT" with a small "o" sound. (I hate change, lol)

  32. #28
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    [quote=majcm;967996]I'm glad he's okay, but I noticed something with the news channels. Why all of a sudden are the announcers trying use phrases like they use in England? First on CNN, the guy kept saying "taken to hospital" instead of "taken to THE hospital" like we say it over here. It really bugged me, sounded pretentious (I don't think the English are pretentious, but I think when Americans adopt European phraseology they are being pretentious). Anyway, I changed to Fox News and that guy was doing it TOO!

    Also newcasters change pronunciations all the time too. The main one I remember is around 9-11 time, they started calling the Marriott Hotels "Mari-utt" with a small "u" sound, when it had always been "Mari-OTT" with a small "o" sound. (I hate change, lol)[/quote

    What ever newscasters first say you must take with a grain of salt.
    They are trying to be first with breaking news in our 24/7 world.
    (I hate any kind of change also)
    Carolyn(1958-2009) always in my heart.

  33. #29
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    What I want to know is how can facial lacerations be 'serious condition' I don't care if it's Tiger Woods, or the town hooker, facial lacerations are NOT a 'serious condition.' Only way they would be, is if facial bones were also broken. Then I could understand how his facial lacerations would be classified as being a 'serious condition.'

    I also don't get the whole golf thing either. What's the big whoop about hitting a ball off a tee? Where's the competition in that?
    You call me a bitch like it's a bad thing...I may be a bitch, but I am NOT YOUR bitch...I'm not A bitch, I'm THE bitch...

  34. #30
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    CNN just updated their report. Apparently his wife freed him from the car by breaking out the rear window with a golf club.
    I would love to know the whole story here. I am glad his injuries appear to be minor.
    http://www.cnn.com/2009/US/11/27/tiger.woods/index.html
    Regards,
    Mary

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    The media sure backed away when his "serious" condition turned out to be lacerations. Glad he is ok, big Tiger fan.

  36. 11-27-2009, 05:30 PM

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    Rachel Uchitel

    Fish lips hmmmmmmmm

    Click image for larger version. 

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    I am a sick puppy....woof woof!!!

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  38. #33
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    National Enquirer says Tiger's new girlfriend is Rachel Uchitel ( they got it right on John Edwards). Hope he has a pre-nup. The Enquirer reported this before todays accident:

    http://www.yardbarker.com/golf/article_external/Rachel_Uchitel_Photos_Of_Tigers_Alleged_Mistress/1635442

    Last edited by cash; 11-28-2009 at 07:05 PM.

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    I like how the newest reports state that when FHP arrived, his wife was standing over him after having smashed the back window with a golf club? Hmm. Facial lacerations from hitting the steering wheel may be way similar to taking a 9 iron to the teeth. TMZ has a photo of the hydrant spot he hit, and the driveway doesn't look long enough to build up enough speed-- without skid marks, anyway. Methinks she was standing in the driveway when he came home, surprised him, he veered into the fire hydrant and CRASH. She came up to him with said golf club and smacked the shit out of him as he stumbled out of the car. She then thought 'oh crap' and smashed a window out to 'help' him, then stood over him by the time police came.

    Or not. I seriously doubt they're that exciting.

  40. #35
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    I hope he didn't injure his mangina
    A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs. It's jolted by every pebble on the
    road. H.W. Beecher

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    Quote Originally Posted by cash View Post
    National Enquirer says Tiger's new girlfriend is Rachel Uchitel ( they got it right on John Edwards). Hope he has a pre-nup. The Enquirer reported this before todays accident:

    http://www.yardbarker.com/golf/article_external/Rachel_Uchitel_Photos_Of_Tigers_Alleged_Mistress/1635442

    Hope so too, otherwise Ms. Woods is finally going to get her payday.

  42. #37
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    Eh, like father, like son. Tiger's dad was came into a restaurant I worked at with a different woman every week. Even invited me to go to Jamaica with him.

    And I don't mean to sound disappointed, but for a sec I was thinking Tiger would be that last shocker death of '09, but as usual the media hyped up the incident.

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    HEHE you can bet your sweet ass she was waiting with that club lol..lets see if Tiger can get out of this one lol..the wife is not going for the "girl on the side" bullshit..saw this movie and swung that club once..there is no way in hell he smacked that caddy up all by himself..the little woman was behind that lol
    Last edited by NOVSTORM; 11-28-2009 at 08:35 AM.

  44. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by motherogod View Post
    I like how the newest reports state that when FHP arrived, his wife was standing over him after having smashed the back window with a golf club? Hmm. Facial lacerations from hitting the steering wheel may be way similar to taking a 9 iron to the teeth. TMZ has a photo of the hydrant spot he hit, and the driveway doesn't look long enough to build up enough speed-- without skid marks, anyway. Methinks she was standing in the driveway when he came home, surprised him, he veered into the fire hydrant and CRASH. She came up to him with said golf club and smacked the shit out of him as he stumbled out of the car. She then thought 'oh crap' and smashed a window out to 'help' him, then stood over him by the time police came.

    Or not. I seriously doubt they're that exciting.

    lol

  45. #40
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    One comment I read somewhere else was questioning the logic of breaking the rear window with the club when he was in the drivers seat.
    I am a sick puppy....woof woof!!!

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  46. #41
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    lolly, ta for the dlisted link. that's my fave news source! I liked the comments, especially this one, which has already been posted by wise hags on this thread:

    from TMZ: "We're told he said his wife had confronted him about reports that he was seeing another woman. The argument got heated and, according to our source, she scratched his face up. We're told it was then Woods beat a hasty retreat for his SUV -- but according to our source, Woods says his wife followed behind with a golf club. As Tiger drove away, she struck the vehicle several times with the club. "
    Read more: http://www.tmz.com/#ixzz0Y8ehi7Q0
    DUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH US DLISTED INVESTIGATORS MADE THE CONCLUSION.
    Coma Caca!!
    Wow, that was some huge-open-mouthed-but-totally-straight-bromance greeting. (爆)~RaRa

  47. #42
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    'Shocked neighbours brought the injured Woods a pillow and a blanket as he lay on the ground'.

    Wooo, cannot wait till the first hand accounts of the neighbours are printed. Also, he seems to have been shagging this chick in LA, Las Vegas and Melbourne. Guess who will not be playing in the Aussie masters next year?

    http://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/new...-1225804948026
    I am a sick puppy....woof woof!!!

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    butter face,what a skank,if true,tiger is too.
    Knowlege Comes With Deaths release

    Heaven's on the pillow,it's Silence competes with Hell

    "If you don't go to other peoples' funerals,they won't come to yours."-Yogi Berra

  50. #45
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    Quote Originally Posted by NewYorkDoll View Post
    drag queen or female body builder type face whose done too many roids
    A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs. It's jolted by every pebble on the
    road. H.W. Beecher

  51. 11-28-2009, 09:09 AM

  52. #46
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    Quote Originally Posted by herekittykitty View Post
    lolly, ta for the dlisted link. that's my fave news source! I liked the comments, especially this one, which has already been posted by wise hags on this thread:

    from TMZ: "We're told he said his wife had confronted him about reports that he was seeing another woman. The argument got heated and, according to our source, she scratched his face up. We're told it was then Woods beat a hasty retreat for his SUV -- but according to our source, Woods says his wife followed behind with a golf club. As Tiger drove away, she struck the vehicle several times with the club. "
    Read more: http://www.tmz.com/#ixzz0Y8ehi7Q0
    DUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH US DLISTED INVESTIGATORS MADE THE CONCLUSION.
    Coma Caca!!
    I came to that very same Conclusion myself..it ain't rocket science folks

  53. #47
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    If the rumors are true and he was a drunk driver
    the man is a big time idiot.
    Carolyn(1958-2009) always in my heart.

  54. #48
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    Quote Originally Posted by NewYorkDoll View Post
    She looks like she could kick his skinny, little ass. I hope it's not true.
    Once in a million years a lady like her rises...

  55. #49
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    Quote Originally Posted by stinkythejokedog View Post
    drag queen or female body builder type face whose done too many roids

    Apparently, she's done David Boreanaz, too!! She gets around!!





    Rachel Uchitel Bones David Boreanaz!


    October 22nd, 2009 2:07 PM by Hilton Hater
    Tags: David Boreanaz, Celebrity Scandals, Rachel Uchitel
    David Boreanaz stars on the Fox hit Bones.
    However, it's the act of inappropriate boning that has him in the news today.
    According to Star magazine, the actor was carrying on an affair for months with Rachel Uchitel, even while wife Jaime Bergman was pregnant! She gave birth to daughter Bardot six weeks ago.
    Uchitel reportedly ended the relationship two weeks later; which must have been difficult to do because sources say things were hot and very heavy between her and Boreanaz.
    ??David would walk in the door, and they??d have sex right away,? said an anonymous insider somehow privy to this information. ??He told her, ??Every time I have sex with you is like the first time.???
    Meanwhile, if you think the Brooke Hundley and Steve Phillips' affair was shady, you'll love the following tidbit.
    The tabloid claims that Boreanaz was texting his girlfriend while wife Jaime was giving birth on August 31!
    ??He was on the phone with Rachel, giving updates,? said a source, who added that even Uchitel was turned off by this behavior. ??That grossed [Rachel] out, because she felt that should have been private.?

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    Sounds like a "talented" girl.

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