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Thread: I'm Back!

  1. #401
    JestersKiss Guest
    me too, Sunshine

  2. #402
    JestersKiss Guest
    Couple days later some military guys came by the hospital. They acted like they were looking for somebody. I didnt hide like i wanted to, i just kept a low profile and stayed near the back of the tent. They wernt being jerks really they were just looking at all the patients, they were all kids, mostly girls, some women . They had been there about five minutes and looked like they were going to leave when one more showed up at the door. The rest stopped and looked at him and he was locked on me immediatly. It was the leader from a month ago. I quickly slipped out the back of the tent i could hear them moving quickly my way. I had no where to run really. I just walked quietly back to the front of the tent, hopeing that they would just run out the back and start looking for me. When i got to the front , the leader was there waiting for me. and waved me over to the back of his jeep. I was unsure what to do, but he was acting much more friendly than when i seen him last time. Some of the other workers were gathing at the tent and peeking out. I dedcided to take a chance ans walked over to him. When i got near to him he reached into a box in the back of the jeep and was going thru some papers back there. He turned with a smile and showed me my passport and work visa. i reached for them and he pulled them away. He yelled something twards his driver. The driver leaned out and told me in english that if i wanted them back i had to pay him. I reached in my pocket and showed him all i had, it wasnt much, they took all i had the first time. The leader laughed at me. Then he yelled something else to the driver. He wants a clean girl then, the driver told me. I looked back twards the tent and seen them staring at me, some of the patients were now there. I turned back to the driver and said that they were all dirty. The leader then slapped me. and yelled in my face." you lie again i kill you right here. he spoke english, i looked up at him and he almost looked sorry for hitting me. He looked me straight in the eye and with the most evil i ever saw in someones eyes. Get girl now is what he said. I didnt know what to do, i wasnt about to go get him a girl. I didnt want to die right here either. I thought about just killing him with my bare hands but i knew the driver would be right there to kill me if i touched him. i took off my watch, my earing, the gold chain around my neck, and the oakley sunglasses tucked on the edge of my pants pocket. I handed them to him. Then i did something very stupid, i lied again, i told him it was my grandfathers watch and it ment alot to me and i told him they were 200.00 sunglasses (really they were only about 50 bucks) he smiled at the glasses. I thought i was dead. He turned and i thought he was gonna leave without giving me anything. But he stopped be fore getting in the jeep and threw my papers in the air. as soon as he was in the jeep roared down the road. I picked up my papers and spent the day kicking my self for not just kicking the shit out of him. No one said a word to me the rest of the day at the hospital. That night when i was crawling into my cot in the shack there was a quiet little knock. I said come in. It was one of the nurses, a young black woman who looked alot like one of the Williams sisters from tennis. She handed me a bowl of stew, and just stood and looked at me for a second. I said thank you. This was the first time any of the regular workers had even acknoledged my exsistance. It smelt so good. She had tears in her eyes when she turned to leave. She stopped and said thanks to me and left. I got up to catch her, but she was gone already. I never knew exactly what she was thanking me for but im guessing for what had happened that morning. The stew was awesome, it was the first warm meal i had had in almost two months. She never said another thing to me while i was there, i would say hello and she would just walk by or ignore me. I did find out her name was Sula and she did not like men, especially white men. I never found out why, like it matters, i can guess. I left there three days later when the my guide showed up and said they needed me somewhere else. I gladly left. But for some reason i miss those people that barely seemed to know i was there and didnt trust me. My heart still breaks for them. I thought things could not get any worse that this tent. I was wrong.

  3. #403
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    Seattle, WA
    Posts
    6,639
    Jester as sad as this is, you make me even prouder to know you. I want my husband to read this tonight when he gets home. After the first of the year may we take you for a drink to celebrate you?
    Wanna see my grandkids?

  4. #404
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Chicago suburbs
    Posts
    353
    Quote Originally Posted by lulubaines View Post
    You deserve to be happy. Please be good to yourself..you have friends here.
    I haven't spoken to you before, Tuter, but Lulu nailed it with this comment. YOU, yes YOU deserve to be happy. not to be ignored. It will hurt for some time, but you are a strong person and will get past this.

    My girlfriend just ended her marriage and the divorce was final last week. she's going thru the same feelings, even tho' he was a total prick to her.

    And you are not alone in the furniture department, m'dear. I'm dealing with that myself, too, but can't get to the point you're at until the bum gets off his butt and gets a job.

    We're all pulling for you! Vent away as you need to.


  5. #405
    Cherry Malotte Guest
    Oh Jester...I'm so relieved that you are still with us. And I have to second and third that emotion - I'm proud of you too. I don't have the emotional wherewithal or fortitude or selflessness that you had to make that trip. Thank you for doing what you could for these people.

  6. #406
    hoxharding Guest
    Your experience is just so awe-inspiring and amazing-you are incredible.
    HUGS

  7. #407
    ghoulgurl Guest
    I'm just walking into this thread so forgive my ignorance. What country(ies) were you in?
    Thanks!

  8. #408
    Lita Guest
    Amen, lulu! We're here for you, Tutter. I'm sorry you're going through a rough time but like lulu said you deserve to be happy. The guilt will pass and someday you might even find a nice guy who won't neglect you. If you need to talk or vent, feel free to pm me. You have lots of friends here and we won't turn our backs on you because of this. That is not how we work here. We stand by each other through thick and thin. It's a hard decision to make to end a marriage and I know you did not make this decision lightly. You may be alone in your house as in your husband is no longer there but you are not alone.

  9. #409
    MoonRabbit Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by tutter1234 View Post
    Probably I will feel better tomorrow. I have a few friends I can talk too and I already talked with lots on my way to reach a decision. It's just that big hole I fell in after bringing my son to bed and reaizing I'm all alone now.
    Honey maybe you should find a support group right now?
    You probably need others in your position to talk to.
    People that might blame you didn't have to live in your shoes.
    You sound like you did the right thing.
    Good luck in finding happiness! I hope you find loads of happiness!

  10. #410
    RoRo Guest
    awww hag hugs to you dear!!!!

  11. #411
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    North Georgia
    Posts
    491
    I agree with everyone here- I am speechless and can't find words to describe how incredibly proud I am to know someone like you. Volunteering in a place like that takes someone with a HUGE heart and even bigger balls than most people have. I just am so sorry about what you had to endure while there. If all of us are as proud as we are, just imagine how thankful and proud the people are whose lives you have touched. You gave all of them an unbelievable gift- your comfort, care, and kindness- both in their lives, (and esp. in Shayla's case) their passings. They will never forget you as I'm sure you won't forget them. You touched more lives on this one trip than most people do their whole lives (myself included).
    You need to write the story of this experience and share it with either Guideposts, Reader's Digest, or as HowDID said-" Locked Up Abroad" tv show on National Geo. (by the way HowDID- the exact time you were posting about this (about 3:00 am Sunday night) I was on National Geographic's website trying to find who he can contact about his story being on their show.

  12. #412
    RoRo Guest
    God Jester I am so glad you are back! Thank you for sharing this with us...the conditions in Africa are horrendous and I appreciate people like you going there and comong back and telling people about it! Hag Hugs to you sweetie, you are a wonderful person!!!

  13. #413
    missy Guest
    wow. thank you so much for sharing your story, i can't even begin to imagine how horrifying all of this must have been for you. Hearing your story makes me realise just how good we have it here, where we're reasonably safe and society hasn't broken down so badly as that.

    if you don't mind my asking, what part/s of Africa where you in?

  14. #414
    Frank 'N' Howie Guest
    This makes me wanna go to Africa and kick some idiotic ass...They treat women and children like freakin cattle...NO...They treat cattle BETTER!!!..."Get me a girl"...Fuckin MORON!!! You are some kinda man...You deserve a hug and a BIG kiss from Angelina Jolie...

    I can totally understand why someone would want to adopt a child from Africa...If ONE little life can be spared that heartache...It would be worth it...I wish I were in a situation where I could help...Even a little...

  15. #415
    Lisamarie Guest
    wow ...just wow...I cannot get over this...please tell us more! I am so proud to know you ! And I will include you im all my prayers....

  16. #416
    LadyDay Guest
    It is horrific and yet compelling reading. I am sure this has changed your thinking forever.

    God bless you for handing over your jewellery and glasses - you know, a coward dies a thousand deaths - what you did was so brave and you saved some poor girl from God knows what.

  17. #417
    deathybrad Guest
    WOW. What a story.

  18. #418
    JestersKiss Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by ghoulgurl View Post
    I'm just walking into this thread so forgive my ignorance. What country(ies) were you in?
    Thanks!
    Africa - Congo and Gabon

  19. #419
    JestersKiss Guest
    I must be honest right now! I apreciate everything everyone is saying, and please keep posting here. But im not posting my story for any glamour or fame. I agree people need to know that going on but I dont want to tell anyone else about this but all of you here at Fad, i mean i have told my sister and a counciler, and some US goverment officals. I just wanted to tell some of you. The story gets worse and there are things i do that i am not proud of and could get in trouble for. I might tell you about them sometime But not yet. Everytime after i post im like depressed for about an hour. Untill i read a comment or two from friends here. It brings me around because i thought of you all so much, what would they say about this or man if i had my camara, i would so post this on FAD. .....I guess im trying to say Thank You, all of you. From Mod to Jr. Thanks.

  20. #420
    JestersKiss Guest
    .........me, our guide and two ladies one in her 50's from France, and a 40ish woman from Canada, and a young native man with a gun. We were packed in a Van and going down the worst road in the history of roads. It was so rough, you couldnt sleep, couldnt talk, couldnt even drink water without wearing it. Every hour or so we would stop for a break and talk fast to each other while we peed, drank and stretched. I learned we were headed to a village that had been attacked by military forces. The team that was there before us had sent a message for help with a native, the young man with the gun. We had a full load of medical supplies and food that we were going to deliver. There were times when i would ask myself, What the hell am i doing here? I was really regreting alot of things as we went deeper and deeper in to this jungle, and the road got worse and worse. Many times we would drive by the burned out remains of small villages, some still smoldering. We never even spoke to each other, we just looked out the window. We would see monkeys eveyonce in awhile, Saw a hippo once as we drove along side a river once. I would love to tell you where exactly this spot was. It was breath taking. But we had driven so long and winded in this jungle i had no idea where we were.

  21. #421
    JestersKiss Guest
    It was dark when we stopped near a village, no one came to greet us and there was very little movement. Our guide Louis said we should just pitch our tents and cots and sleep here and in the morning we would find the rest of the staff. The young man with the gun dissapeearded into the darkness. I assumed he was going to his own home. We didnt talk much, we just set up or meger tents that were really just nets with poles. You could hear the howling monkeys in the distance. I was still awake when i heard someone walking closer to our little group. ,,,

    Ok i got to get some coffee, will finish this in a while. Sorry
    Last edited by JestersKiss; 12-16-2008 at 09:24 AM.

  22. #422
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    San Francisco Bay Area, CA, USA
    Posts
    8,055
    Jester, my heart goes out to you Brother. I can only imagine what it must be like reliving this as you post. Take it slow Buddy. We can be patient.
    John Trim On Face Book
    On the internet you can be anything you want.
    It is strange that so many people choose to be stupid.


    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  23. #423
    JestersKiss Guest
    ok.......It was an elderly woman, she started crying and waving her arms. As i got up and put my shoes on she grabbed me by the arm and started pulling me twards the main camp. I tried to resist but this lil old lady was very strong for her age and had a death grip on my arm. The othere were trying to get her to stop and talk to our guide but it didnt even slow her down. As we reached the main camp, it seemed deserted, the only light was from a hut about midway down the road. Something was wrong. I sensed it. I jerked my arm away violently enough that the lady almost fell down. I stopped and tried to get my bearings. I looked around into the darkness, tried to see if any one was watching from the smaller huts. I looked back to the others, they were staring in every direction too. The Lady had stopped yelling, only mumbled words in almost a whisper. She just looked at me. Then it hit me. That smell. I knew that smell, my stomach started turning at the same time. I had smelt this smell before. When i was working as an EMT at home. We were called to check on a possible dead body. Ussally its an old person who has passed in thier sleep, the cops get there first, dont wanna touch nothing , they call us, we send one person in, check for a pulse, check for breathing, call for a corenor. The day this smell reminded me of was the day we went to a farmhouse and found an 18 year old boy that had put a shotgun in his mouth behind the barn. He had been there about a week in 100 degree heat. IT was BAD. and thats an under statement. I did not need to check anything that day. As soon as i turned the corner on the barn i knew death when it hit me in the nostrils and when it emptied my lunch from my stomach seconds later.

    This was that smell, but worse. It was the smell of death rotting somewhere close. The canadian puked about the time the old lady said someting in her language and looked me in the eyes. She was begging me to come with her. She started walking twards the lit hut and i followed. No one else did. They stayed out there in the road. It smell worsened the closer i got to the hut. Before walking in after the old lady i took a deep breath and went in. There was four cots i could see imediately and the flies. My god the flies. After inhaling a few and spitting them out i put my bandanna over my face. The flies were looking for any opening they could find. The old lady had went to the rear of the hut. she was out of site. The first cot, i only looked at a second and looked away quickly. I dont know if it was a girl or a boy but thier stomach contents were spilling over the cot and dripping on the floor. Dead. I crossed to the second cot. A old man. Tounge hanging out, Maggots. Dead. The cot next to him was empty be there was blood stains and flies crawling all over it. The last cot had a woman in it, her breasts had been removed and one leg looked like it was tore off by an animal. Blood everywhere. Dead. I could now hear the Old lady whimpering. I turned to look for her and my stomach could take no more. Vomit all over the floor. And the flies seemed to attack the mess on the dirt floor. I walked twards the last place i saw the lady. I looked like she disappeared but i still heard her whimpering. I step forward slowly and my foot had no where to go. I caught myself just in time to see the hole in the dirt floor.

  24. #424
    Frank 'N' Howie Guest
    Sweet lord...

  25. #425
    ghoulgurl Guest
    Wow. What stories. I don't know you but I admire your courage and hope you heal from the bad parts of your experience and learn from the rest.

  26. #426
    JestersKiss Guest
    ........The hole was dug about 3 by 3 and i could see a slight tunnel. I asked twards the hole if i should come down there. i could only hear whimpering. I did not want to go down there. Really wanted out of this entire thing. I had no idea what was down there waiting for me. and if i did go down there was i even gonna fit in the tunnel. Im 6'3 228 lbs and have wide shoulders. I was never gonna fit. I spoke into the hole again. If someone is hurt, you must bring them to me. The whimpering stopped. I knew the woman did not understand english. I just needed to say something. But now there was no noise at all. Nothing but the buzzing of flies behind me. I yelled for Louis to come and bring a flashlight. I knew he could translate. After a few seconds i heard him yell back, just a minute. After a few more moments i heard him running my way. I forgot to warn him about the.........it was too late i heard him puke as soon as he came thru the front entrance. I yelled for him to come to the back. He did but he wasnt even looking at me. He could not take is eyes off the mess behind me. I knew i wasnt going to look again. I told him to tell them in the hole they have to come to me. He was froze. I told him again. Still nothing. I grabed him and turned him to me. I told him again. He spoke the words twards the hole and i turned and waited. Nothing. Nothing for what seemed like minutes. Then i heard scraping. Then the old woman appeared and i could tell someone was behind her. But she did not turn to help. She just got up out of the hole with our help and seemed to want to get out of the way.

    need a break............

  27. #427
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Tokyo, Japan
    Posts
    2,975
    fuckin A, Jester.

    btw, I do that thing in my head too (oooh, must tell the hags about this one). It's kinda like, well, we're all copping to having this whack interest in death, I guess I can tell them anything.

    so no judgments from me, mate. Just tell us what you feel comfortable with. We were there with you in spirit, you say, right? We're here with you now, too.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]Wow, that was some huge-open-mouthed-but-totally-straight-bromance greeting. (爆)~RaRa

  28. #428
    JestersKiss Guest
    There was someone behind her. First i saw a small child about one year old. There was hands holding this naked child. in one of the hands i clearly could see a gun. Then very quickly a military man appeared, Holding the child close, with the gun to the babys head. He was speaking but i heard nothing. The man was bleeding and bleeding bad. Stomach was soaked with blood, hands covered with blood. Gun to the babys head. He was yelling but i could not hear him. Gun to the babys head. It was all i saw. Gun pressed firmly to the kids head. Louis, gently touched me on the shoulder. I felt like i was dreaming. I turned and he said he wanted me to fix him and his friend or he would kill us all starting with the child. I was froze, i could not comprehend what was happening. The combo of smell and stress was having its toll. I could not do this any more i thought. I could hear him now. Yelling at Louis again. Louis quickly moved to help him out. Gun pressed firmly against the child head, the baby was now crying too. Screaming at the top of its lungs. The man moved his hand over the childs mouth and continued to yell at Louis. I was froze as the man sat in a wooden chair. Louis looked at me. The old woman cried. The childs eyes were closed, tears streaming, trying to yell though the hand over its mouth. Thr Military man looked at me, and i once again saw the evil in the eyes of one of these men. He said in perfect english. Fix. and pointed to the hole. He said something to Louis. Louis now with sweat pouring from his bald black head. Told me, he sadi get in the hole fix his friend and then come fix him. I knew i wasnt gonna make in the hole. But i probabley wasnt going to make it anyway. I thought about just go for the gun, if he kills me it will all be over and i would be out of the picture. But there was the kid, i was in no shape to even try it. What about the girls, where were they, but i figured if he had any part of the brutality that was only feet away, he would probly just rape them and kill them in the same matter. I looked at the Old woman, the look on her face made up my mind. If someone can beg someone with just a look she gave me one. I had no idea what i was doing, but i jumped in the hole. and peered into the dark hole. I reached for the the flashlight that Louis held out. I dont know why i said what i said but i said something that maybe i thought was brave, for trying to ease the tention. But in my best Arnold impersonation i said " Ill be back" and clicked on the light and started squeezing...........

  29. #429
    Frank 'N' Howie Guest
    I swear I can't stop reading this...I'm gonna go out and kiss the frickin ground my home sits on now...

  30. #430
    JestersKiss Guest
    i actully was making progress, i slid my way in. After about 15 feet of crawling the hole emptied into a large room. I shined the light around the room. It was bare and all dirt. There was a clump of clothes in the corner. But that was it. There was something shiny coming from under the clothes. I crawled closer and realized as i got closer it was a person covered in a large blanket. I whispered somethingto the person to let them know i was there. No movement. i was about 3 feet from the body, kneeling and realizing that the shiny stuff was blood. I reached up and touch the shoulder. Nothing. I leaned over and looked twards the face. A man. and to my suprize, a white man. I said where are you hurt. no response. Eyes open. I looked for his wrist, i followed his arm down with my hand keeping my eyes on his looking for a reaction. My hand dissapeared under the blanket still looking for the wrist to get a pulse. Wetness. My fingers found wetness and the source of the shiny blood. This mans wrists were cut and fairly fresh. And i large knife in one hand. He was dead but it could only have been an hour or so at the most. No pulse. Not breathing. But the blood was fresh. My head was spinning again. i did not know what was real anymore. Was i dreaming again. As i shined the light near the wall where he lay, i saw carved in the dirt wall, " forgive me, im sorry" He killed himself. What the fuck. Rage roared over me. I had no idea what to do now. If i go back, will he kill us all. I really didnt care about myself or the other adults up there. The only one that i really cared for at that moment was this scared shitless kid upstairs. And i questioned why i cared at all. Since the kid was probly gonna die anyway. If not this guy pulling the triger, someothe crazy, evil man would do it in a few years. Or recruit him into the military and he dies fighting a war ove rnothing but greed and culture. I stopped myself. I did not wanna become one of the others that seemed numb to this country. I had no idea what to do. I checked the man, looked in all his pockets, nothing. Not even a wallet. no watch, no rings,. Just this big knife and his military camo. I took the knife and headed for the hole.

  31. #431
    Frank 'N' Howie Guest
    Holey frick...

  32. #432
    JestersKiss Guest
    I can seriously say i dont remember much about the next 20 minutes of my life. Here is what i remember. Tucking the knife in my shorts at my back. Crawling quickly, coming out of the hole to a horrible smell and not wanting to smell it one more second. The military guy started talking. Louis asked where is he and i replied "in hell" and to my suprise the military man understood and pulled the triger. Well im not sure if he understood or if he pulled the triger by accident. I didnt matter. I snapped. Here is what i remember so far. The gun swinging from the bloody child to the old lady that was screaming. Me moving slow motion and reaching for the knife. Louis pukeing again. The next thing a remember isknelling with blood all over me, head between my knees. I looked up. The military man was shaking violently in front of me, blood flowing from where his eyes used to be and from his mouth. There was a knfe in the side of his neck buried to the handle. The old lady was dead, shot in the chest. Louis was dry heaving by the front door. The two older ladies where standing there covering thier noses and mouthes, looking at me. I got up and walked out. I walked straight to our makeshift camp. I remember there were other tribes people standing outside thier huts now. Just staring at me. I could hear a song in my head. Janies got a gun Areosmith. I was sure at that very moment i was insane, id lost it. I was a water bucket by one of the huts. There better be water there. There was. I washed off what i could. Puked after what i seen was being washed off me. I went and climbed in our jeep and locked the doors. No keys. I just sat there. Staring twards the village. No one came after me. Or at least i didnt see them. I fell asleep to Janies got a gun, echoing in my head. I learned later from someone that had heard the story from Louis that i killed the millitary man in seconds. And then tried to do CPR on the child. I have no memory of this. The Doc i see says it will return someday. I hope not. Louis said that after i gave up on CPR i slid the child next to the Old Lady and Louis said i started praying. I dont remember any of this, and i really dont care to. I hope Louis was just in a drunken state and embelished it a little bit.
    No one ever spoke to me personally about this in any of the two weeks we stayed there. And i guess i didnt talk to anyone either. I had pretty much buried the memory of it untill this guy in a bar before we flew home asked me about it. It was real then. and i had to deal with it. Well im still dealing and always will. We did help people there. I just didnt take the time to learn anyones names. Alot died too. Not much we can do about serious injuries. I guess the rest of the time in the village was pretty peacefull but it wouldnt take much to be peacefull after that night. And im pretty sure i was praying.

  33. #433
    JestersKiss Guest
    Need a drink.! Ill tell ya more later

  34. #434
    Frank 'N' Howie Guest
    Dude...I want you to write this and submit it for print...People need to hear this and I feel privaledged that you are sharing this with us...Absolute HELL on earth...It is amazing that you are still alive...

  35. #435
    JestersKiss Guest
    I dont think all of me lived, part of me died there too. And maybe someday. But since FAD was at the forefront of most of my alone time, well i just thought id share and the Doc says it will help. I just wanna be able to sleep without seeing a ghost. Thanks you guys and gals dont even know how good the words you all write feels.
    Or at least see the ghost of Jane Mansfield or Betty Page,lol

  36. #436
    Frank 'N' Howie Guest
    They say that verbalizing your thoughts helps one to deal with them...I think that is alot of the worlds problem right there...We are afraid to share our experiences, thoughts, and concerns with our fellow man...Even the one's we are closest to...That's what's so great about FAD...We can share things here with folks that we may never get to see face to face...They honestly care more than any people I know...I feel closer to people on this forum than I do in my life...Thank you so much for making us part of this...

  37. #437
    JestersKiss Guest
    Shit,,,,i became a renowned Death hag,,,,,when did that happen. Shit i would have celebrated,lol

  38. #438
    kelbons Guest
    Oh my God, Jester. I just read this now... I don't even know what to say! But I agree... talking aobut it may help and you are very brave for telling us all what happened. I am just so glad that you are alive and back!!

  39. #439
    JestersKiss Guest
    Ok ive had a few drinks now and am ready to be happy, so im gonna go post some nice stuff other places. Ill be back

  40. #440
    MorbidMolly Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by jesterskiss View Post
    ok ive had a few drinks now and am ready to be happy, so im gonna go post some nice stuff other places. Ill be back

    yayyyyyy........

  41. #441
    JestersKiss Guest
    Good news, just got off the phone with the trip set up Coordinater. My buddys are safe and home. both of them got home a few months ago. Got thier nunbers gonna call tommorrow. They thought i was dead and just found out i was home. Night everyone, till we meet again.

  42. #442
    tydtm Guest
    GOOD!

  43. #443
    LadyDay Guest
    I am glad to hear your friends are safe.

    This is all so awful. At times when I was reading your story it was like watching a Hollywood film or reading a book, and then I realised this was real life. That the hero did not save the baby from the crazed gunman and ... I don't know - it's truly shocking and sickening ... words are not enough.

    But please do keep telling us about your experiences. It is humbling to read.

  44. #444
    Frank 'N' Howie Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by LadyDay View Post
    I am glad to hear your friends are safe.

    This is all so awful. At times when I was reading your story it was like watching a Hollywood film or reading a book, and then I realised this was real life. That the hero did not save the baby from the crazed gunman and ... I don't know - it's truly shocking and sickening ... words are not enough.

    But please do keep telling us about your experiences. It is humbling to read.
    Girl...You took the words outta my mouth...You said it better than I could have though...

  45. #445
    sunshine2828 Guest
    That's great to hear that your friends are o.k.! Yay!

  46. #446
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    Springfield, Ohio
    Posts
    1,019
    Great to hear they are ok!

  47. #447
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    Midland, Texas
    Posts
    2,727
    Jester, I'm glad your friends are ok. If anyone has post traumatic stress its you. I'm glad your sharing with us because your stories are fascinating and need to be told. You are like an Iraqi war vet. It wouldn't hurt to maybe see someone for what you've been through. I know it makes you sad telling these stories but is it therapeutic? If so, keep telling them.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  48. #448
    JestersKiss Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by michihunt View Post
    Jester, I'm glad your friends are ok. If anyone has post traumatic stress its you. I'm glad your sharing with us because your stories are fascinating and need to be told. You are like an Iraqi war vet. It wouldn't hurt to maybe see someone for what you've been through. I know it makes you sad telling these stories but is it therapeutic? If so, keep telling them.
    I am seeing someone, a Doc that specializes in vitims of extreme abuse, and i have been diagonzed with PTS. I take meds for it. But if i wanna work i gotta get off em soon.

  49. #449
    JestersKiss Guest
    I just got off the phone. Confrence call Willy from Seattle and Chet from Virginia. They told me all about thier experiences and i invited them to come write some of it here or just read and make comments. So if ya see them, welcome them. They are a little shy about some of this stuff. They wernt quite sure about Fad but they are gonna be checking us out.
    Thanks again everyone for the comments, it makes writting this stuff down a little easier.

  50. #450
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Bavaria, Germany
    Posts
    1,698
    Thank you all so much!

    I met with a few friends by now and talked to them and they all have been very supportive ! Even my mum just hugged me and said: We'll make it, no worries." I haven't heard a bad word from anyone yet and that surprised me but made it lots better!! I know there still will be bad times ahead especially christmas but I have more hope now!


    chirock: I'm so sorry to hear that! I hope better times will come for you because YOU too deserve to be happy!!!

    MoonRabbit: I'm living in a very rural area and as far as I know there is no support group but even if, I'm not talking to people I don't know very easily and I don't want to do dirty laundry because of my son. He loves his dad and I want it to stay that way.

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