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Thread: Some silly ponderings...

  1. #1
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    Cool Some silly ponderings...

    [SIZE=2]Just a little something I thought I'd pass along...hope you all get a giggle or two out of it.





    If you have sex with a prostitute against her will, is it considered rape or shoplifting?


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    Can you cry under water?


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    How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?


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    Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'... but it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going to?


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    Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?


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    Why does a round pizza come in a square box?


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    What disease did cured ham actually have?


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    How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?


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    Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours?


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    If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?


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    Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?


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    Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?


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    Why do doctors leave the room while you change?

    They're going to see you naked anyway.




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    Why is 'bra'singular and 'panties' plural?


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    Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?


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    If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?


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    Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?


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    If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?


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    Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?

    They're both dogs!


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    If Wile E.

    Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?


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    If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?


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    If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?


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    Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?


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    Why did you just try singing the two songs above?


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    Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?


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    Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window???


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  2. #2
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    Too deep for me Morty....gonna have to ponder these awhile!
    Wanna see my grandkids?

  3. #3
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    "If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?"

    Ahahahaha!
    The most dangerous woman of all is the one who refuses to rely on your sword to save her because she carries her own.

    - R.H. Sin

  4. #4
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    Funny, Morty.
    John Trim On Face Book
    On the internet you can be anything you want.
    It is strange that so many people choose to be stupid.



  5. #5
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    Yeah, alright, I was singing. I never knew that!

    damn, can't believe I got caught singing.

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by Morty View Post
    [SIZE=2]
    [SIZE=2] If Wile E.[/SIZE]

    [SIZE=2] Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner? [/SIZE]

    Why does he keep buying ACME products if they always fail?

  7. #7
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    BWAHAHAHAHA, those are great!!!


    Ozzy, my boy <3 You were my snuggle buddy and I will forever remember our movie nights and warm glasses of milk.....xoxo, rest in peace my sweet boy....

  8. #8
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    Those are funny,I didn't know Goofy was a dog it doesn't make sense why he isn't on all fors and talks,I like Pluto better.

  9. #9
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    "The eyes of Texas" and "Working on the railroad" are also the same tune

  10. #10
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    If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

    Yes it is. And judges get pissed when ya ask them to repeat themselves.
    Stay in Drugs. Eat your School. Don't do Vegetables.

  11. #11
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    LOL

    I've always wondered why it's called a passport rather than a port pass; you have a hall pass, not a passhall

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by laynestaleyfan View Post
    Those are funny,I didn't know Goofy was a dog it doesn't make sense why he isn't on all fors and talks,I like Pluto better.
    I thought Goofy was a wolf?
    Wanna see my grandkids?

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Karma View Post
    I thought Goofy was a wolf?
    I could never tell,I do know he annoys me though

  14. #14
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    What?! Me...singing? No I wasn't...shush.

    Nice post...gave me a giggle, thanks!
    Inside me, there's a skinny woman fighting to get out....but I can usually shut the bitch up with chocolate

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by cleanskull View Post
    If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

    Yes it is. And judges get pissed when ya ask them to repeat themselves.
    Guess I'd be shit out of luck then.

  16. #16
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    Why did I accidentally drop a Polident tablet into my coffee earlier today? Why was it in with the sugar packets? I laughed my ass off when I realized what it was.
    .

    Life is like a box of chocolates: unless it was sent to you by Divine.

  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by SomeChick View Post
    Why did I accidentally drop a Polident tablet into my coffee earlier today? Why was it in with the sugar packets? I laughed my ass off when I realized what it was.
    How did it taste?
    You might want to be extra careful about separating things like drain cleaner, sugar packets and roach poison going forward, I'm thinking.

    But now I'm pondering if there might be a market for brightly colored little adhesive labels that you can stick to packages of food or other stuff.
    You know, one that says, "Poison", and another that says, "Not Poison".
    How helpful is that?
    But man, you gotta be mindful as you go about applying those things or it could have some serious consequences.
    Just imagine what's going to happen if you go sprinkling sugar around the house thinking it's flea or roach poison?
    A faulty hypothesis forming:
    A German scientist using Iranian physics and French mathematics.



  18. #18
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    Start the ant parade!
    .

    Life is like a box of chocolates: unless it was sent to you by Divine.

  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by SomeChick View Post
    Why did I accidentally drop a Polident tablet into my coffee earlier today? Why was it in with the sugar packets? I laughed my ass off when I realized what it was.
    Debra didn't have her Glasses on and started brushing her teeth with DESITIN It was 10 years ago, but I have not let her forget it.
    Stay in Drugs. Eat your School. Don't do Vegetables.

  20. #20
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    Pondering, the question about tall buildings and binoculars
    Someone I knew kicked a penny off of the CN Tower in Toronto
    back in the early 1980s.
    Hope it never hurt anybody.
    Carolyn(1958-2009) always in my heart.

  21. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by cleanskull View Post
    Debra didn't have her Glasses on and started brushing her teeth with DESITIN It was 10 years ago, but I have not let her forget it.
    Oh man. Everyone who's had a baby remembers what that stuff smells like. It's gotta taste horrendous!

    TOL,

    According to physics, the momentum that penny would create as it fell could do some serious damage.
    .

    Life is like a box of chocolates: unless it was sent to you by Divine.

  22. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by SomeChick View Post
    Oh man. Everyone who's had a baby remembers what that stuff smells like. It's gotta taste horrendous!

    TOL,

    According to physics, the momentum that penny would create as it fell could do some serious damage.
    It's not that bad really, a little like Vegemite but with a slight medicated twang to it; sort of like cough syrup.
    And yeah - a penny could do some serious damage falling from that height, but you'd have to be a major dumbass not to move before it hits you.
    A faulty hypothesis forming:
    A German scientist using Iranian physics and French mathematics.



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