I did the same thing, became an avid reader to escape a living hell. You have to talk about it, granted not 24/7, but talking about it is healthier than bottling it up. Have you seen a therapist? Therapy is immensely helpful.I'm sitting here reading your story and it brings me to tears. First of all I want to thank you for posting the story. I too have been looking for it for quite some time now. I haven't reread it but will after posting this message. I also believe this story saved and changed my life in so many ways. I read it when I was 12 and at the time had been being severely abused by my step-monster and raped by my step-brother. I prayed to God asking what I had done for him to abandon me. I cried myself to sleep every night. I wanted to die and if I'd had the guts probably would have killed myself. I will not go into detail about my abuse, I am saving it for a book one day but I will say after reading Robbie's story I actually felt better about my situation but sadly a little envious that he was no longer suffering and I still was. I too am 44 years old now and have 5 children 3 of which I gave birth to and 2 I inherited with my second marriage and would never dream of abusing them. I have been away from the abuse for nearly 30 years now but still have nightmares about it today. I also became an avid reader to escape my horrible life which is how I came across this story. I have been telling it ever since and will continue to until I no longer am able. I really do not have to reread it because I remember almost every detail. I want to say that I have been happily married now for 13 years and although it took me until my thirties I have finally taken away most of the power from my abusers. I am a social worker now and will spend the rest of my life helping people and doing whatever I can to protect children from being abused. I have learned that God was always with me and I suffered in order to be able to do what I do today. I have not totally forgiven but I will always try, I am human. If I can give anyone reading this a little advice it is 1. To forgive-How can any of us expect to be forgiven for the wrongs we commit if we can't forgive those who have committed wrongs against us? 2. Don't quote me on this one but I believe it is a sin to rehash wrongs against us. If it's not it should be because all it does is give power to the people who hurt us. Plain and simple STOP TAlKING ABOUT IT to everyone and anyone who will listen. Ever wonder why no one wants to talk to you, it’s because you are depressing. Trust me I was that person. The less you talk about it, the more you forget about it and the easier it is to forgive. Take your negative energy and use it towards something positive like helping those who are suffering now. There is absolutely no excuse for abuse of any kind. We will all eventually pay for our wrongs and that some how comforts me but also scares me because I know I am far from perfect. I rarely ever see my step-brother but when I do it makes me sick and I see my step-monster on a more regular basis and she acts like nothing ever happened which also makes me sick. I doubt I will ever get an apology but it wouldn't change or take back what she did to me and my siblings. Thank you again for your story and to all those who have the strength to read things like this and do something about it. Never be "The Chapmans’s” the couple in the story who were afraid to report something that they weren't sure of. It's better to report it and be wrong than not and have a child die. I told everyone what was happening to me and no one did anything. I pray for every child’s sake YOU are not that person who looks the other way. IT IS YOUR BUSINESS, DO SOMETHING!!!!![]()