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Thread: Whatcha Up to Right Now?

  1. #4001
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    What'd the hay ever do to you? ROFL!

    I'm awake at too-early-o'clock for no reason. Slept part of the day yesterday, threw my sleep schedule catty-whompus again. Yay. Woke up an hour and a half ago from a nightmare. Blanket kicked up to my knees and a God-awful taste in my mouth. Again.
    "Tequila may not be the answer, but it's worth a shot."

    "I just go here!"

    "I am not psychic. I AM psychotic. BIG difference."


  2. #4002
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    The hay didn't do a thing, I'm just mean like that.

    Finished another chapter read/edit on the historical. Explained to a preacher's wife via FB Messenger about how closed caption systems must be provided by production companies. She thought my computer provided it. I wish. Now I'm going to nap before I start working on another blog article.
    GOD IS NOT DEAD





  3. #4003
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    Reading more on Michael Alig's death. If you didn't know he died of a drug overdose on Christmas.

  4. #4004
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    Quote Originally Posted by pkstracy View Post
    Reading more on Michael Alig's death. If you didn't know he died of a drug overdose on Christmas.
    Yeah, I read about it in People Online. Just ate dinner. Fixing to work on my next blog article and another chapter in the historical if there's time before I start nodding off.
    GOD IS NOT DEAD





  5. #4005
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    I'd be laughing at Rump again if his stupidity hadn't affected so many people.
    .

  6. #4006
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    Finished the first draft of January's blog article, working title Crack Food Junkie, and read/edited a chapter in the historical, adding to the two I did earlier. Almost done. Made my report to AW. Ate a fourth of a piece of chocolate cake. Now Imma gonna chill and crash.
    GOD IS NOT DEAD





  7. #4007
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    Me? Oh, I was just submitting the first FAD post of the new year.

    And hey, now I've got the second one, too!
    Sincerely yours,
    Upset

  8. #4008
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    Home from work today. Bus isn't running because of the holiday. And because of the ice storm we got last night, there were NO Uber OR Lyft drivers out. I don't trust taxis, they're unreliable. So I had to call out. For the first time since I started. My boss understood though. I'm the type of person who goes to work even when she shouldn't. That kind of work ethic.
    "Tequila may not be the answer, but it's worth a shot."

    "I just go here!"

    "I am not psychic. I AM psychotic. BIG difference."


  9. #4009
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    Editing one of the last chapters of my 1732 historical. I wanted to work on the 1985 crime later, but don't believe I will.
    GOD IS NOT DEAD





  10. #4010
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    Waiting on my grocery delivery.

  11. #4011
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    Working on my author site. It's not the format I'd like, but it's free ((((Cindy shrugs)))). Booting up my writing session tools as I type this.
    GOD IS NOT DEAD





  12. #4012
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    watching those rabid Trump cultist.

  13. #4013
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    On my way home from work. Rough night last night, rough morning this morning.....thank God for music.
    "Tequila may not be the answer, but it's worth a shot."

    "I just go here!"

    "I am not psychic. I AM psychotic. BIG difference."


  14. #4014
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    Editing and formatting my novel on Kindle Create.
    GOD IS NOT DEAD





  15. #4015
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    Proof read a chapter in my book, cancelled Publix because I'm tired of paying over 6 bucks for a 6 pack bottles of Diet Coke, and they don't deliver potted meat. Boo. Joined the new Walmart Membership where you get anything in the store delivered to your door for $12.99 per month. That's three more bucks than I paid Publix, but I will more than make up for it with the lower prices and the necessities I have to buy each month. You get a 15 day free trial, which I'm going to sign up for late next week because I just bought from Publix yesterday.
    GOD IS NOT DEAD





  16. #4016
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    Been a rough few days of flashbacks, body memories, and nightmares. Ended up with extra time off work, which i used as mental health days. That i finally admit i needed.
    "Tequila may not be the answer, but it's worth a shot."

    "I just go here!"

    "I am not psychic. I AM psychotic. BIG difference."


  17. #4017
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    Fixing to make my AW report, then wash dishes, then make resize my logo to fit my FB biz avatar. Today is a A Deadly Spill of Scarlet work day, but I might take a nap first. By that time Sissy should have the supper steaks done.
    GOD IS NOT DEAD





  18. #4018
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    Modding, about to take my mother in law to Fort Rosecrans cemetery to visit my father in laws grave.

  19. #4019
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    Drinking, piddlefarting around on FB and TikTok, and talking to the woman i hope will be my girlfriend. She's talking about wanting to go to Pride together when the pandemic calms down and things start up again. *blushes*
    "Tequila may not be the answer, but it's worth a shot."

    "I just go here!"

    "I am not psychic. I AM psychotic. BIG difference."


  20. #4020
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    Skimmed 2 chapters and fixing to do an early devotions and either eat or hit the sack.
    GOD IS NOT DEAD





  21. #4021
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    Ria I could have sworn I replied to your posts, I am so sorry you had to deal with all the body memories, have you read The Body Keeps The Score, I high recommend it. I hope it works out with you and her. As for me I am laying on my brand new bed and loving it, it's a bit high but ah well, I am happy to not have to sleep in a bed with a sagging mattress that some how kept creeping off the bedframe.

  22. #4022
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    Ria, I pray it will soon pass. I have spells of memories about what mean things people have said to and about me, but I can't even imagine what you've been through and going through as a result. (I was molested at age 13, but it only happened one.)
    GOD IS NOT DEAD





  23. #4023
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    Quote Originally Posted by pkstracy View Post
    Ria I could have sworn I replied to your posts, I am so sorry you had to deal with all the body memories, have you read The Body Keeps The Score, I high recommend it. I hope it works out with you and her. As for me I am laying on my brand new bed and loving it, it's a bit high but ah well, I am happy to not have to sleep in a bed with a sagging mattress that some how kept creeping off the bedframe.
    I have not read that book. I'll have to see if the library has it as soon as I finish the book I'm reading for book club. I'm reading a lesbian romance.

    This comes and goes. I'll go for months without any flashbacks, and able to concentrate on working with the alters. And then there's months where i can think of nothing else. December is a rough month for me with anniversaries of my dad's death, and if course over Christmas my abuser would be in my house overnight and he'd do things. January is usually spent putting myself back together.

    ETA: I talked to her for hours over FB messenger. The more we talk the more we have in common. *swoons* I could fall for her EASILY. Sex came up last night and I confessed that I have physical damage and scarring left behind from my past, which she also knows about. AND the DID didn't scare her away either, because she knows I'm very proactive when it comes to therapy. If needed I'll go back to therapy and back on meds. No issue with it.

    Quote Originally Posted by cindyt View Post
    Ria, I pray it will soon pass. I have spells of memories about what mean things people have said to and about me, but I can't even imagine what you've been through and going through as a result. (I was molested at age 13, but it only happened one.)
    Mine started at age 3 and went on till i was 10 and began Shark Week. He wasn't as dumb as he pretended to be and knew i could get pregnant and as a result he'd be found out. I've had 25 years of therapy and while I'm doing better than I was, there's still a LOT of work to be done.

    And unfortunately my body remembers what my brain does not. I was trying to make breakfast and ended up doubled over with a shooting pain down there. Body memory. Hurts like hell and all I can do is concentrate on breathing and remembering that I'm safe now. It's not easy and they come on me at random times, and in random places.
    "Tequila may not be the answer, but it's worth a shot."

    "I just go here!"

    "I am not psychic. I AM psychotic. BIG difference."


  24. #4024
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    RIa, I know that feeling all to well about body memory, yeah try to get Body Keeps the Score as soon as you can it helped me understand a lot of what was going on with memories and trauma and how it affects the body and how the body remembers.

  25. #4025
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    Quote Originally Posted by pkstracy View Post
    RIa, I know that feeling all to well about body memory, yeah try to get Body Keeps the Score as soon as you can it helped me understand a lot of what was going on with memories and trauma and how it affects the body and how the body remembers.
    Yeah I'm going to check it out from the library first, if they have it. I also need to get and reread "Our Bodies Ourselves," I've been having body issues. Major. The library doesn't have that one so we may end up shelling out $20 or so for it.

    Right now, my roommate and I are playing in resin. Making rainbow keychains. Feels good to be crafty. Helps with everything.
    "Tequila may not be the answer, but it's worth a shot."

    "I just go here!"

    "I am not psychic. I AM psychotic. BIG difference."


  26. #4026
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    I sent this to Ria. Here it is for anyone else. Our Body, Ourselves. https://smile.amazon.com/Bodies-Ours...s=books&sr=1-1


    Me? Fixing to update my Walmart grocery list, check my bank account, and get in some editing before dinner.
    GOD IS NOT DEAD





  27. #4027
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    Playing animal crossing on switch, been up now for 24 hours straight and it wasn't because of the game lol, my insomnia is kicking in again.

  28. #4028
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    Glancing and editing the 1732 historical. Saturday is Billy Estrella day, and I can't wait.
    GOD IS NOT DEAD





  29. #4029
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    Drinking, scrolling TikTok, relaxing. I'm off tomorrow, weird schedule because we're slow. Worked today (Thursday), off tomorrow (Friday), work Saturday, off Sunday and Monday (as usual), work Tuesday and Wednesday. I'm not gonna know which end is up.

    My roommates left about 12 hours ago for Florida. "A" is finally getting his top surgery he's been fighting to get for years. I wanted to go, but didn't want to take 3 weeks off work (nor could I afford it really). So I stayed home to work, house sit, and take care of the cat and bunny. They took both dogs with them and the tarantula should be okay until they get back. I have the house completely to myself for at least the next two weeks, possibly three.
    "Tequila may not be the answer, but it's worth a shot."

    "I just go here!"

    "I am not psychic. I AM psychotic. BIG difference."


  30. #4030
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    Oh Ria that is great about your roommate. Cindy I can't wait to read the crime novel, as for me mentally and emotionally preparing to go out with my "friend" the one I have been slowly distancing myself from, I'll do a pet peeve in a moment, I am going to do what is called Gray Rocking https://www.healthline.com/health/grey-rock to start the pulling away even more and hopefully for the last time, she invited me for coffee, which as I don't drink coffee other than the Blended Mocha Frappe at Starbucks, and I think I am going to have a come to Jesus meeting with her.

  31. #4031
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    Have fun, Ria!

    pk, please take care of yourself. I wish you could find a real person. The crime novel might be out by the end of this year.

    I'm running a Malwarebytes scan. It's been going for 3 1/2 hours already.

    Signed up for Walmart+ 15 day free trial and they extended it to 30 when I answered 3 little questions. I want to start filling a cart but Sissy is at her daughter's out until late, celebrating the miracle grandbaby's 4th birthday today. She has to be here. So, it'll be tomorrow.
    GOD IS NOT DEAD





  32. #4032
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    Thank you Cindy, I am okay and back home and cutting ties with her this time for good, it's going to be hard at first, as I hate conflict and feel bad about doing it but for my peace of mind and mental health I need to. Right now I am waiting on walmart delivery, going to make nachos tonight, and I am about to go clean the cat litter and empty the trash can in the bathroom and may game, Cindy I will be looking forward to reading it. I have found a friend, that I am building a true friendship with we don't talk much but that is okay as she is an introvert like me and has anxiety and such like I do, so we get each other and she has similar interests that I do.

  33. #4033
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    Glad to hear about your friend. I hope it all works out equally for you both.

    I had to cancel Malwarebytes because it was taking way too long to scan, but it was interfering with my computer. Bye.
    GOD IS NOT DEAD





  34. #4034
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    Thank you by the time I got home after being with toxic friend, I was drained mentally and emotionally, and on the verge of tears. She just sent me a text saying I had fun I hope you did as well. I didn't respond.

  35. #4035
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    PK it's such a shame we don't live closer. I'd definitely be your friend and not pull that kind of stuff on you.

    Right now I'm waiting on food delivery. Ordered Wendy's on DoorDash almost an hour ago and it's finally on its way. As is perc usual for me, day after drinking I'm not hungry until about this time of day. But quickly go from hungry to hangry.

    I'm also struggling with a TikTok I made last night. I usually make most of mine while drinking because I lose inhibitions and allow the camera on me. I made one last night about DID. I've wanted to start doing DID content but didn't know how. The one I did has all the negative and untrue things I have been told about it over the years. I want to take it down, but on the other hand it's my miniscule contribution to erasing the stigma.

    I don't know if I can post the video here, but my TikTok is minimaria73.
    "Tequila may not be the answer, but it's worth a shot."

    "I just go here!"

    "I am not psychic. I AM psychotic. BIG difference."


  36. #4036
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    aww Ria I would love to hang out with you and be friends. I'ma check out your TikTok, guess I'll have to make an account now LOL, girl I just saw it, omg that is so spot on and the song, pkstracy is my tiktok.
    Last edited by pkstracy; 01-15-2021 at 03:43 PM.

  37. #4037
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    Quote Originally Posted by pkstracy View Post
    aww Ria I would love to hang out with you and be friends. I'ma check out your TikTok, guess I'll have to make an account now LOL, girl I just saw it, omg that is so spot on and the song, pkstracy is my tiktok.
    I can't find you. Did you follow me?
    "Tequila may not be the answer, but it's worth a shot."

    "I just go here!"

    "I am not psychic. I AM psychotic. BIG difference."


  38. #4038
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    Ria Yes I followed you.

    I took the first step in removing my toxic friend, I deleted her number from my phone and erased all her text messages and removed her from my instagram. Ria, I went in a edited my user name it gave me some random one.
    Last edited by pkstracy; 01-15-2021 at 10:43 PM.

  39. #4039
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    Messing around.

    I have a lot of scut work to do on google docs and will start working on the crime novel later.
    GOD IS NOT DEAD





  40. #4040
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    Quote Originally Posted by pkstracy View Post
    Ria Yes I followed you.

    I took the first step in removing my toxic friend, I deleted her number from my phone and erased all her text messages and removed her from my instagram. Ria, I went in a edited my user name it gave me some random one.
    First that's awesome you're finally cutting her out of your life! You don't need that.

    Second, yes i see you now. Followed you back so you could comment. I have my page set so only friends can comment. I got tired of people bringing stuff to my page that didn't belong there. Like when I'd defend someone on their page, the person being a cyber bully (for lack of a clean word for it) would then come to my page and leave nasty comments/insults. Oh no no no that's not how this works. Most people on my friends list are given one chance. Say something insulting, body shaming, or homophobic and you're gone. Call mentally ill folks crazy, especially those of us with DID, and you're gone too. There's a few, like my roommates and you PK, who i know would NEVER say anything like that. Put up a new one last night, "what it's really like to have DID."

    Talked to the woman I'm interested in last night. Some heavy stuff came up, somehow ended up on the topic of our bodies, sexually speaking, and i had to have the "mine doesn't work the way it's supposed to but I'm working on retraining it" conversation. Much easier had over text than verbally because I grew up taught we do NOT discuss what's in our pants. She's very understanding about it thank God, knows it's not something I can control. Ex-hubby would get mad at me, and I'd in turn get mad at my body. He literally took that as a personal rejection!!! *rolls eyes* But she was very understanding about it, agreed to help me work through it.
    "Tequila may not be the answer, but it's worth a shot."

    "I just go here!"

    "I am not psychic. I AM psychotic. BIG difference."


  41. #4041
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    Fixing to fix brunch and eat while watching SVU. Then likely work on the 1732 historical. Just two more chapters! And then on to the first preview.
    GOD IS NOT DEAD





  42. #4042
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    Quote Originally Posted by cindyt View Post
    Fixing to fix brunch and eat while watching SVU. Then likely work on the 1732 historical. Just two more chapters! And then on to the first preview.
    Yep I'm trying to figure out if I want my usual breakfast or if I want to try one of those folded tortilla paninis that are viral on TikTok. Then I've got 30 pagesc left to read in this lesbian romance in reading for book club that's in 3 hours....
    "Tequila may not be the answer, but it's worth a shot."

    "I just go here!"

    "I am not psychic. I AM psychotic. BIG difference."


  43. #4043
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    Just sent her an email about why I am cutting her off then blocked her from sending me an email, she is now gone from everything. Now I am asking myself why the hell did it take so long. Today hubby and I are going to go on a picnic in the park and just enjoy the day it's 77 degrees here right now.

  44. #4044
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    Fixing to watch a video sermon, then complete the two chapters on my book, then it's devotion time.
    GOD IS NOT DEAD





  45. #4045
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    Quote Originally Posted by pkstracy View Post
    Just sent her an email about why I am cutting her off then blocked her from sending me an email, she is now gone from everything. Now I am asking myself why the hell did it take so long. Today hubby and I are going to go on a picnic in the park and just enjoy the day it's 77 degrees here right now.
    Good for you!!!! 77 degrees there? I think it's maybe 35 here. I finished the lesbian romance literally with an hour to spare for book club. LOL. I did find the Body Keeps the Score at the library. It's an 8 week wait time for it!!!! It's either wait 8 weeks or shell out $15 for the book.

    Now if I read it, decide it can definitely be something I'll need to purchase, then I will. I don't usually spend more than $5-$8 on a book, unless it's a reward for completing healing tasks. And THOSE are usually fun reads, or by authors I follow. I read digital books on my Kindle. Granted this one is NOT one I'd read while eating. The whole point of me reading while I eat is to focus what I'm reading and continue the hand to mouth motion and finish my meal.

    Right now I'm about to go downstairs and do the dishes and then make dinner. Almost 5:30 here, by the time I finish the dishes and get food cooked and on the plate it'll be pushing 7. I'm trying to do better with eating. It's definitely a struggle but I'm slowly getting there.
    "Tequila may not be the answer, but it's worth a shot."

    "I just go here!"

    "I am not psychic. I AM psychotic. BIG difference."


  46. #4046
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    Thank you, Ria, Check your inbox, yes 77 here, Friday it was 83 and Sat 84, that is unusual at this time of year, but hubby said it's because of the Santa Anna winds coming in.

  47. #4047
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    Uploaded my 1732 historical to Kindle Create and spent hours cleaning up the mess the conversion made. In the coming days I'll view the document on a mockup Kindle tablet in order to catch formatting mistakes. I was delighted to see how good my images look, including the imprint logo. There's one I haven't looked at yet, but it will likely be fine or I'll take it out.

    Right now in a minute, I'm going to slap my breakfast plan on My Fitness Pal, and then who knows? I'm kind of tired, but not really sleepy.
    GOD IS NOT DEAD





  48. #4048
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    Finished breakfast and sipping iced coffee. Yes I did finally try the tortilla panini TikTok trend. Mine had sausage, egg, and cheese in it. Yum! About to start WandaVision on Disney+. GF needs someone to talk to about it. I'm a Marvel fan but had not seen that yet.
    "Tequila may not be the answer, but it's worth a shot."

    "I just go here!"

    "I am not psychic. I AM psychotic. BIG difference."


  49. #4049
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    Just ended my first work session on the crime novel and fiixing to fix an early supper.
    GOD IS NOT DEAD





  50. #4050
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    Just got home from doing laundry, I am getting into the low end of the bipolar sector, meaning no energy and no motivation, not quite depressed but soon getting there, ugh, I think I am just going to curl up and read High Achiever by Tiffany Jenkins, I follow her on youtube and she is funny and talking about dealing with her anxiety and such.

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