Hope everything is okay, PK. *hugs* I'm watching WandaVision on Disney+. I thought each episode would be an hour. Nope. 30 minutes. Score!
Hope everything is okay, PK. *hugs* I'm watching WandaVision on Disney+. I thought each episode would be an hour. Nope. 30 minutes. Score!
"Tequila may not be the answer, but it's worth a shot."
"I just go here!"
"I am not psychic. I AM psychotic. BIG difference."
I am relaxing in bed watching Juggling the Jenkins on youtube, and texting someone here on the board.
Happy tears watching the swearing in of a new president.
Lunch break. Turkey and cream cheese sammich and baked Cheetos. Trying to be a good girl.
"Tequila may not be the answer, but it's worth a shot."
"I just go here!"
"I am not psychic. I AM psychotic. BIG difference."
DRESS HER IN CHAMELEON is currently being published and will be out by Saturday or Sunday if not before.
Now I can spend all my writing sessions on the Billy Estrella crime novel and maybe one day on a blog article. You have no idea what it feels like not to have to work on that DHIC book anymore. I feel released.
Food on the way. Rough late afternoon. Crowded buses triggered me into a panic attack and then yep flashback. Managed to get a hot shower, which soothes and calms me down despite my hating being naked. Watching Monster Hunter World videos on YouTube with Wonder Twin. Even 2 hours away she can still calm me down after this stuff.
"Tequila may not be the answer, but it's worth a shot."
"I just go here!"
"I am not psychic. I AM psychotic. BIG difference."
hugs you Ria, I am so sorry that you had that happen to you. You should have texted me while you were on the bus or called I would have talked to you.
Yapping with a former creative writing instructor, author Bonnie Hill Hearn, via FB Messenger. She bought my book. Yikes. She always said I had what it took to be published. And she especially loved my Billy Estrella crime A DEADLY SPILL OF SCARLET homework way back when Heck was a pup.
When I get like that, reaching out to actual people is hard. I had my headphones on, cranked up the music, and managed to text Wonder Twin, who is already so in sync with me she probably felt a disturbance in the force. I took an even earlier bus today and had no issues. I'm hoping that was a fluke? Tomorrow the only bus to get me home is at 4:50 unless i get off in time to catch the 3:20. Saturdays the bus runs half schedule. Only every other stop time. (Usually there's a 3:20, 4:05, 4:50, and 5:35. I only know afternoon/evening pickup times.)
Yes!!!!! I'm in!!!!
Nice to meet you.
"Tequila may not be the answer, but it's worth a shot."
"I just go here!"
"I am not psychic. I AM psychotic. BIG difference."
Right now, I'm soothing my savage soul with music. Sandra Valls' Playroom Karaoke. I've had a rough week mental health wise, and the one cure-all is MUSIC. Whether it's Sandra Valls and her sister doing Playroom Karaoke on Facebook Live, or it's Sarah Hester Ross on TikTok, music SOOTHES me.
"Tequila may not be the answer, but it's worth a shot."
"I just go here!"
"I am not psychic. I AM psychotic. BIG difference."
Right now trying not to go off on someone.
Just posted a TikTok showing my handwriting. Weird challenge, but okay. I'm game. I won't dance or show my body, but I'll show my face and as of late, sing. Speaking will be happening soon, I bet. So showing my handwriting wasn't an issue. You see my face first, then my hand, writing a sentence.
I'm currently working on a series of common misconceptions about DID to post on my page. TikTok is really helping me get over a fear of the camera on me, I can allow it much easier. I still barely allow trusted people to aim a camera in my face but little by little it is getting easier.
I was watching a video where they were asking Alexa questions and mine kept going off. ROFL. The question they were asking was for Alexa to play an intruder alert. Mine said, "Hmmm, I don't know that one." ROFL
"Tequila may not be the answer, but it's worth a shot."
"I just go here!"
"I am not psychic. I AM psychotic. BIG difference."
Right now, watching Madea's Family Reunion and rekindling both my blogs, one crafty and one DID. Getting my crafty one set up again because my roommate and I are in the process of setting up a side hustle to make plus size shirts, matching mother-child shirts for plus sized moms, tumblers, signs, and other things. I offered to host our stuff on my blog, or create a third page just for that.
I'm currently working on an entry for my DID blog after I came across something on FB yesterday that rekindled my writing bug. Basically, a young psychology "student" kept insisting that it wasn't a real diagnosis, it was too controversial to be real, too rare, NOBODY has it, etc. I went OFF, told her where to go and what to do once she got there.
Naturally to deal with the rage I felt at being brushed off, not believed, and accused of faking, I wrote. Writing is one of my coping mechanisms. Blog or journal, it doesn't matter just write and get it OUT. On paper. Onscreen. Another is drawing/painting. So long as I get it out and do not hurt myself, we're good.
"Tequila may not be the answer, but it's worth a shot."
"I just go here!"
"I am not psychic. I AM psychotic. BIG difference."
"Tequila may not be the answer, but it's worth a shot."
"I just go here!"
"I am not psychic. I AM psychotic. BIG difference."
I think the issues lie with me being so tired. When I'm that tired, comprehension when I read is hard. I hadn't slept well since I'd been triggered last week. Last night i couldn't stay awake, and napped from after dinner until I gave up and went to bed early, so hopefully today will be better. Last couple of days i literally ran on fumes and caffeine.
Didn't help that the last two nights i had my ass literally handed to me at work. Short handed and slammed. Last night they found out what the corporate-trained Kansas City girl can do but dammit i got off work and was EXHAUSTED.
"Tequila may not be the answer, but it's worth a shot."
"I just go here!"
"I am not psychic. I AM psychotic. BIG difference."
Go get 'em, Ria!
Watching the Stephen Colbert show.
.
Ria Sends you hugs.
Trying to recover from a bad night last night of anxiety and dark dark thoughts, hubby just told me his job wants to extend him an offer full time, but due to budgeting, due to the pandemic, they can't, so his contract ends March 5th, so he will be looking for another job, he assures me we will be fine, we have been since 2015 as that is all he can seem to get hired for is contract positions, but yeah the stress happens, he was off for almost a year last time. So now that puts getting a newish car on hold and once again buying a home...seems every time we start to plan out things that I see so many others being able to do, this happens.
I'll pray for you and you hubby, pik.
I've been working on my scene and info charts and fixing to start writing on the crime novel. A very dear friend of me gave me her Pure Flix login info until I get my new debit card, and what I really want to do is continue watching The Chosen. It's the life of Jesus like I've never seen it before. It's Hollywood, of course, and some of it has been embellished, of course, but the actors are flawless, and the guy who portrays Jesus has dark hair and eyes--refreshing after so man blond, light eyed actors. I have two epi's left. And then I'm going to maybe watch Love Finds Charm. It sounds like a film version of a Jan Oake book.
I did! I came home covered in custard and literally came in the door and went straight for the shower. Youe girl who doesn't like being naked couldn't get her clothes off fast enough. I'm used to it being insane like that. New store had never been that crazy, but my home store near KC was A LOT.
In fact for the first time since I'd been there, we went over 100 guests in drive through between 10:30 and the time I left at 5. Usually we get between 60-80 through drive on a normal day. Inside I don't count because we have two registers that we use. Drive through is easy because each order is numbered so I can easily keep track of when we go over that 100-mark.
You do know you can text me any time, right? If I ever don't answer I'm either asleep or during the day I'm working. I'm usually up until midnight or 1am Central time. Once in a while, I DO fall asleep early and sleep through the night, but that's not too often. Saturday and Sunday nights, I could be up till 2 or 3 or even later. I can sleep through a text, so no worries about waking me up.
"Tequila may not be the answer, but it's worth a shot."
"I just go here!"
"I am not psychic. I AM psychotic. BIG difference."
Right now I'm crafting, watching Sister Act 2, and texting Wonder Twin. In between I'm checking TikTok to see if any of the three creators I mod for start a livestream and need me to mod for them. I usually just check it periodically when I'm home in the evenings and if they're livestreaming, I pop in the stream. For one, I just have to answer questions because her followers are so well behaved. (She's got almost a million followers, and she's the cute redhead I post her TikToks on my FB page.) For another, I'm a damn bouncer because SHE gets a lot of fatshaming and worse. For the third it's a mix of both.
"Tequila may not be the answer, but it's worth a shot."
"I just go here!"
"I am not psychic. I AM psychotic. BIG difference."
Ria I'll remember that, this was a PTSD episode, one where I can't function, I just shake a cry, Cindy thank you, right now just relaxing in bed, didn't fall asleep until eight am this morning, I am hoping I can sleep early tonight.
I completely get that. When I get in mine, usually Wonder Twin is the one I want, because she's usually the only one who can talk me down and get me calm again. We can trust the child alters with her, and that says a LOT. As of yet she's the ONLY one to meet any of the littles, with the exception of our therapist we had back home. I think you and I both forget the other is there, on the other end of a text message, and we get each other. *hugs*
Unalived at the comment about the neighbor calling 911 about your singing.
Thank you for the prayers, life has definitely not been kind to me, but I'm determined to come out the other side. My will to live is SO strong I will probably never die. LOL
Right now, I'm working on sign number two. This one's going to be black and white and will say, "Don't ever be afraid to show your true colors," with "colors" in the colors of the rainbow. If you're on my FB, I posted the first sign I made last night. It's rainbow and says "Born This Way" on it.
I can't remember if I mentioned my roommate and I are starting up a side hustle. We're starting up a small business making and selling wall hangings, tumblers, t-shirts, and other small things. We're specializing in LGBTQ, and for shirts we're going all the way up to 5X at the least, possibly 6X. We want our t-shirt line to be size-inclusive, and will also do parent/child matching shirts and if we can get hold of them, shirts for the furcrew, too.
I WAS looking for a second work from home job to do in addition to Freddy's, but if we're going to do this I'm going to see how that pans out because I will need evenings and days off to work on things. It is my hope that it takes off and my second job can be this, creating things, which I love to do. And I've been told I'm pretty darn good at it, too, so we'll see how this goes. I'm excited.
"Tequila may not be the answer, but it's worth a shot."
"I just go here!"
"I am not psychic. I AM psychotic. BIG difference."
Right now I'm in a state of shock. The sign I was working on earlier? Finished it (pictures on both my Facebook and my TikTok) and within 30 minutes of posting, IT SOLD!!!!! What the WHAT??????
"Tequila may not be the answer, but it's worth a shot."
"I just go here!"
"I am not psychic. I AM psychotic. BIG difference."
Yes Ria, I sometimes forget and yes we do get each other, hugs, the only one who has met my altars are my hubby and my therapist. LOL Cindy, you sing out loud lady. Congrats on the picture selling, as for me just getting around, I didn't fall asleep until 11:30 am this morning and woke up at five pm, hubby is home, I just ate for the first time today. Keep wanting to reply to the person I just cut out of my life, text and say "No I didn't block you, if you had listened a year ago when I said I put my account on private so no one can find me, then you would know I didn't block your ass on my social media, so you can keep Assuming, and yes the video I did was about you" but I haven't, I put the phone down and pick it back up and put it down again while singing, let it go, let it go, not my circus not my monkey.
Last edited by pkstracy; 02-01-2021 at 07:07 PM.
Don't do it, PK....just keep singing...."Let it go....let it go....don't give a f**k anymore.....LET IT F**KING GO!!!!!" *hugs*
Ex-Hubs met a few of my alters, he eventually started trying to demand they bring me back out. Until one snapped at him, "We do not switch on your command. We are NOT A TRAINED PUPPY!" (I was told. about this later.) He met two of the littles. In the end he felt he couldn't "handle us," and I realized I had never been attracted to men. I was gay but had faked being straight. *shrugs shoulders*
Right now I'm watching Pitch Perfect 2 and just finished designing a third sign, this one will be a wooden one. It's going to say "Glitter House," but I had some issues choosing fonts. I wanted a script I could weld nicely for the word "Glitter," but some of the fonts....made it look like....well....replace the "G" with a "C," because I'm not sure if I'm allowed to type that word here. *unalived* I took a pic and sent it to my roommate, and told her about the font fiasco, and she died too. And asked me to make her one that says that just for her. I said I would.
I'm getting ready to do an experiment with transfer tape. I've seen you can use transfer tape with shirts, but I want to make sure the adhesive won't melt onto the shirt, you know? So I decided to make one for myself that says, "Though she be but little, she is FIERCE." I've used transfer tape successfully on ornaments and other plastic and wooden things, but I haven't tried it on fabric yet.
"Experiments" are usually for myself, my roommates, or are given away. I cannot in good faith accept money for something that might fall apart, or a design that might come undone.
"Tequila may not be the answer, but it's worth a shot."
"I just go here!"
"I am not psychic. I AM psychotic. BIG difference."
I won't ria, text her that is, right now waiting on my grocery delivery, I got myself some frozen fruit and some bolthouse farms smoothies, and some other things I can make and eat that doesn't take a lot of effort, when I feel like eating. I just paid rent and hubby just left for work, I went to sleep at 11:30 am yesterday for the first time and slept until five pm, and I have been up since. Hubby has met all my alternates he has grown attached two of them and said you know I wish we could give them their own bodies and that way they can be our kids. Cindy as soon as I can I'll get your book and read it, it's going to take a bit, I am waiting on your crime novel, true crime and fiction crime are my fave things to read.
The historical novel isn't just costume and waltzing and romance. It begins with a desperate trick that leads to a terrible crime.
Right now, I just got up from a nap, feeling crummy, fixed me a bottle of tea (I drink it out of a 11.5 oz empty Simply Orange bottle). It hasn't hampered my desire to finish a chapter in the crime novel, though. At least my foot is better. While washing dished last week, I knocked a glass and metal pan lid off the counter, and it hit hit the top of my right foot edge first. Ouch!
Ouch Cindy, yep hitting the top of the foot seems to hurt worse than anything. Just woke up I finally crashed at 11:30 am again. Hubby should be home anytime, thinking about making ham and swiss with lettuce and tomato wraps for dinner.
If you have Amazon Prime Cindy's book is free to read. I can text you the link.
The majority of my alters have not come out yet. Probably 20 of them have been out at least once, and a handful come out on a regular basis. We have somewhere in the neighborhood of 200. If we're with someone IRL who knows about us, like Wonder Twin, they'll announce they're not me. But she's VERY perceptive where we are concerned and somehow just knows. She doesn't always know WHO, but she knows it's not me. Because she's so in tune with us, she would be a perfect girlfriend for us but she's straight.
Woman I've been talking to....we had a other DID discussion last night. She had originally told me because of the DID she didn't think she could be intimate with me. I wasn't sure if I could be with someone who couldn't fulfill ALL my needs, but hoped she would come around. And she kind of did. I explained we had been able to handle intimacy before, we had a plan for it. So here's hoping. Besides it's not like we just got diagnosed. We've been diagnosed since age 22 i think. I remember stopping therapy because I was pregnant with Schmoo and feared going into labor in her office.
"Tequila may not be the answer, but it's worth a shot."
"I just go here!"
"I am not psychic. I AM psychotic. BIG difference."
I just downloaded Cindy's book from Amazon Prime reading and saw a picture of Cindy! Cindy, this book is amazing! I am so proud of you. There must have been a lot of blood, sweat, tears and research that went into this book. Kudos to you. Tracey.
Strange when I go it says free if you have Kindle Unlimited, and 5.99 to buy, for Cindy's book, I have prime, but I don't have kindle unlimited. I don't mind buying a copy, will just take a bit, you know bills and all that. Right now I just woke up, my sleep schedule is so off.
Last edited by pkstracy; 02-03-2021 at 05:29 PM.
I don't have Kindle Unlimited, either. I have Amazon Prime and with it should be Prime Reading? You get to read some stuff free?
ETA: I'm about to go down and make myself some dinner. My roommates had BLTs tonight and put the stuff aside for me to make mine when I'm ready. I had a late break so wasn't hungry until now, 8:30pm my time. I need to be finished eating when Wonder Twin finishes with her meeting in 30-45 minutes because she WILL check on me. She always does.
"Tequila may not be the answer, but it's worth a shot."
"I just go here!"
"I am not psychic. I AM psychotic. BIG difference."
I've had Kindle Unlimited, but it was too expensive I thought. I have Amazon Prime for video and two day shipping, and with it you get Prime Reading. Your book is free on Prime Reading, because otherwise I'd have had to wait till i got paid today to get it. I usually buy from authors i know personally, like you or one other i know, or authors i read over and over.
"Tequila may not be the answer, but it's worth a shot."
"I just go here!"
"I am not psychic. I AM psychotic. BIG difference."