Girl,13, Commits Suicide After Dad Posts Shaming Video

[pkstracy]

TACOMA, Wash. â?? A 13-year-old Washington girl took her own life after her father recorded a video of him punishing her, sparking a debate over public shaming videos posted online by parents.


http://fox59.com/2015/06/05/girl-13-...posted-online/

[cindyt]

Things like this really piss me off. My SIL posted a video of a dad shaming his son and praised him for it, and I said "I don't believe in shaming children in public like that." And I don't. I call it abuse.

[navallint]

How sad. Poor child. Children have to punished, but it is so wrong to do it in public. Hope he gets jail time.

[PurrPurr]

Lock him up and throw away the key! Things like this make me ill.

[pkstracy]

I totally agree.

[endsleigh03]

I wonder how her excuse of a father is feeling right now. I hope he's on the ground weeping and heaving.

The cutting off of all her hair crosses emotional, physical and mental boundaries, the prick. Then she got it at school.

[cindyt]

Apparently the dad didn't intend for the video to be uploaded to social media, but the third party recording it uploaded it because they felt like it would help. I wonder how that person feels now.I wonder if it was the mother. Regardless--whatever the girl did to anger her father--she did not deserve having her punishment recorded at all or having all her hair cut off and publicly shamed. That's not punishment--even in private--it's bullying.

[Morbida]

I'm always a little dumbfounded when these child-shaming videos pop up and the general consensus seems to be in favor of it, something that is just unnecessarily sadistic and degrading as far as I'm concerned. Hopefully other parents of the year who consider it an acceptable punishment will see this story and reconsider.

[cindyt]

Well said, Morbida.

I hope my SIL sees it and changes her mind about publicly shaming her oldest son, who is 14 years old. She hasn't filmed a vid like that, yet, but she has a habit of getting on FB and grumbling about him. "I laid my piece of chocolate on the table and turned my back and Dylan swiped it. Everyone who knows me knows not to mess with my chocolate." And a poster said "Um, Star, you can buy more chocolate." Bravo! Or she complains about things he does that all teenagers do. I mean they are going through a process of growing up and their hormones are screaming and they act out. I know this isn't as bad as that poor girl's situation, but the point is children have tender feeling and no one should stomp on them. Punish them in private for the right wrongs.

[endsleigh03]

I just can't get over that he cut her hair off like that, whatever her bad behavior was. And then stood there taunting her about it.

Like I said, on the ground heaving and weeping, hope that's what is happening to him.

As a side note, had anyone EVER done something like that to my daughter, father or not, my family would have found themselves putting money into my jail acct.

[RiaBrown]

That is horrible! Schmoo has done a LOT of stupid shit, and has even been brought home by police in handcuffs, and arrested on other occasions, and I wouldn't DREAM of pulling a stunt like that. EVER. It is bullying, plain and simple, and the fact that it comes from parents makes it so much worse. Cutting her hair off wasn't an appropriate punishment no matter what she did.

Now I DID tell Little Bit when she was a younger that if she didn't brush her hair every day, I'd have it cut shorter. It was down to her waist and she refused to brush it, and it got matted on a weekly basis. I was tired of fighting her to brush it, and I told her that if she liked it she needed to brush it or else I'd have a stylist friend of mine cut it short. Not boy-short, like Izabel's father did, just up to her shoulders and done professionally, but still. The punishment fit.

The article never said what Izabel did to deserve that punishment. You never see the father's entire video, either, just bits and pieces. I'd like to know what she did that her father thought bullying her was a proper punishment.

[atomicbettie]

Her dad asked her if "getting messed up" was worth it. I don't know if he's talking about experimenting with drugs and or alcohol or something else, but I think the chopping off the hair was unnecessary. And to then send her to school with a chop job like that, she probably was teased. The whole thing is a damn shame, and I hope the dad feels bad. I don't think videos like that should be uploaded but honestly I don't think that was a big part of it in this case.

[Rhonda]

Yeahhhh, not sure how I feel after being stuck in the traffic jam for several hours while this got sorted out. I don't particularly like the girl or the dad.

[jerryvr]

I feel so sorry for that girl.. That idiot father and all responsible for this video should be in jail

[pkstracy]

I hope that dad has to pay for this.

[PiggyTx]

soooo fucked up. i also agree, it's bullying. do your punishment in private!

[Aviatrix]

Now I DID tell Little Bit when she was a younger that if she didn't brush her hair every day, I'd have it cut shorter. It was down to her waist and she refused to brush it, and it got matted on a weekly basis. I was tired of fighting her to brush it, and I told her that if she liked it she needed to brush it or else I'd have a stylist friend of mine cut it short. Not boy-short, like Izabel's father did, just up to her shoulders and done professionally, but still. The punishment fit.

As a mom going through "Little Girl Hair" drama, I totally get you. She wants to grow her hair as long as her older cousin's, but she doesn't quite get what that entails. It's about 8" past her shoulders and some mornings it's like pulling teeth to get her to brush it (is actually a texture that's more suited to a shorter style). However every time it crosses my mind to even suggest that she going to get it cut, something in my brain stops me from even thinking to say that. Doing so would rob her of her identity and that would really damage her emotionally. A little girl's hair is so important -- I can take away computer or TV privileges -- but nothing that would damage her psychologically or robbing her of her identity.

Even if a short haircut occurs unintentionally, that could damage a girl as well. When I was 9 years old, my mom thought it might be a good idea to get a shorter style for summer. We agreed that it shouldn't be too short, just a little length off. She took me to the salon (forever afterward referred to as "The Chop Shop") and gave some instructions to the stylist, and went to do an errand next door. This woman proceeded to cut my long hair up to my ears. When my mom returned, she was so angry! She didn't even know how to cut it into a cute style. My mom yelled for the manager, who proceeded to try to fix the style, taking off even more length in the process. Mom was so upset but she kept telling me how cute it was on the way home. I still remember my dad's shock when he got home. For months I felt naked without my long hair. Even today whenever I see clips of Dorothy Hamill I remember that time as that was the style the 2nd operator tried to do. You can't rob a girl of her identity and not be unscathed.

I did come up with a solution to Little Girl's hair. As I said, it was 10" down her back but I thought that she may need some time for her to learn on her own how to brush it. The stylist suggested that we take just a little bit of the length off, and then thinning out the underhairs. We only took 2" off. Thinning it out made a big difference. She's now able to brush it all by herself without the pain which boosts her confidence. I'm not really sure if she's suited to long hair, but I don't want to take that from her until she's ready.

[lynn wilson]

Cutting a child's hair for punishment is abuse in my book... especially the chop job he did...where was the mother because no one would humiliate my child like that... ground her...take away computers ,,,phones....but cut hair no way

[cindyt]

Cutting a child's hair for punishment is abuse in my book... especially the chop job he did...where was the mother because no one would humiliate my child like that... ground her...take away computers ,,,phones....but cut hair no way

Behind the camera? IDK. don't think she's been mentioned.

[TheDude]

Why do parents do this to their children? I know they themselves probably were abused too but still you would think one would want to stop all that shit when they became adults and had kids.

[ktkatinmn]

In Post #20 - she cut her bangs, so her mom made her BALD...??? WTF. I cut my bangs all the time, and if they were crooked my mom helped me FIX them, not shear me bald...

And what child hasn't cut their hair at least once...

Oh this kid is going to be messed up...I feel so bad for her!!!

[endsleigh03]

Why do parents do this to their children? I know they themselves probably were abused too but still you would think one would want to stop all that shit when they became adults and had kids.

Wait, what is this? WHO is this? Tell me there's a name or facebook for this parent.

[Pachamama]

As a teacher, I truly despise parents like this. Can you imagine the taunting that poor girl got at school? Look at her face. That is not punishment, that is humiliation and torture.
As a middle school student, I remember when a classmate was suspended for fighting. She had been repeatedly picked on, and finally responded. Instead of trying to deal with the cause of the problem, mom cut off her hair. So then the poor girl REALLY got picked on. Some people don't deserve to have children. I wish I could whisk them all away and shelter them from folks who treat them like this.

[cleanskull]

This is wrong on so many levels I damn near don't know what to say. Social media is just taken too serious. The father was a dickhead for posting and doing what he did. I am afraid for a lot of the kids growing up taking this sm shit too serious. Fights only count when you are within arms length of each other. I am not blaming the victim and I hope this asshat does some time for what he did.

[atomicbettie]

Oh that poor girl. I guess that parent hadn't seen this story before doing that. Shaving her head?? OMG!! I also cut my own bangs when I was a kid (how many girls didnt?) and my mom also just tried to fix them, and I maybe had to to around with goofy bangs for a while. Actually there is a picture of me with santa when I am about 4 years old right after I had cut my bangs, and my mom always laughs about it. She said she tried to fix them as well as she could but there wasn't a lot she could do about it. Oh well. It wasn't that serious. Makes me wonder what this parent is going to do when her daughter does something really bad.

[theotherlondon]

This is so sad I'm just lost for words.

[Mansfield67]

When I was that age there was no social media. I just got yelled at and sent to my room ! I hope this guy is charged with something. His actions drove this poor girl to do this.

[Dangitbawb]

A parent that does something like this has no love for their children, they're on a power trip, letting the world know THEY are in charge. No emotional investment in raising them to become respectable adults. These "parents" fail at life, it pains me to no end that they were given a gift and completely destroyed it.

[RiaBrown]

When I was that age there was no social media. I just got yelled at and sent to my room ! I hope this guy is charged with something. His actions drove this poor girl to do this.

Not counting family videos or "kid-being-silly" videos, the only videos we took of Little Bit and Schmoo were when they were hitting or otherwise hurting themselves. And we didn't post it on social media, we just showed it to their DFS workers to prove that we weren't abusing them.

Little Bit has cut her hair at LEAST three or four times. Right now, she's sporting a cowlick in the front of her hair where she cut her hair. A hairband got tangled up in her hair, and instead of asking Grandma to help her cut the band out, she just cut her hair. Our response every time she cuts her hair is the same: "Do you have a license to cut hair? No? Do you realize you need one if you want to cut hair? Since you don't have a license, you ma'am may not cut hair."

The first time she cut her hair, she got this lecture from a stylist. After the lecture, the stylist asked her who could cut her hair. Little Bit said solemnly, "Only hair-cutting girls."

[Alycat32]

Even if a short haircut occurs unintentionally, that could damage a girl as well. When I was 9 years old, my mom thought it might be a good idea to get a shorter style for summer. We agreed that it shouldn't be too short, just a little length off. She took me to the salon (forever afterward referred to as "The Chop Shop") and gave some instructions to the stylist, and went to do an errand next door. This woman proceeded to cut my long hair up to my ears. When my mom returned, she was so angry! She didn't even know how to cut it into a cute style. My mom yelled for the manager, who proceeded to try to fix the style, taking off even more length in the process. Mom was so upset but she kept telling me how cute it was on the way home. I still remember my dad's shock when he got home. For months I felt naked without my long hair. Even today whenever I see clips of Dorothy Hamill I remember that time as that was the style the 2nd operator tried to do. You can't rob a girl of her identity and not be unscathed.

Oh my god. I. Can. Relate.

My 11 year old son has very, very thick hair, just like I do. He prefers to wear it past his cheeks and the longest it's gotten is to a point where it's down past his chin and his bangs horribly in his face. Between his father and I we try and come up with a compromise. His dad is Military, not so much old school but thinks my son looks better with shorter hair. I on the other hand, think as long as his bangs are manageable where he can see, and his hair isn't matted, it should be fine. I'm at the point where now that he's 11 I think he should have some say in how his hair looks. It's kind of like the struggle between letting him have freedom but not letting him have his way with everything. I just kind of feel like Hair is Hair, and out of everything it's such a minor thing. He's well behaved at school, gets good grades, isn't perfect behaving at home, but not a total jerk either.

The reason I feel this way, is like the poster I qouted, I had super long hair. I wasn't great at brushing it and I hated when my mom brushed the knots out and hated the smell of the eggy smelling water in the sink when my mom had to help me wash it. Yet, I wanted to keep it long. Finally my mom made me get a shorter cut. She swore it would be a super cute Dorothy Hamil haircut. At that time, it was like 1989 and I had no idea who that was. Well when the hairstylist was finished, I had a bowl cut. I cried and cried and the hairstylist felt bad and my mother was angry with me that I made the hairstylist upset. I was like, really???

Well I had that haircut early in the morning, and my mother dropped me off at school, which was already in session. It was a substitute teacher. I need to also mention that I was a fat kid. Double ugh. The substitute took one look at me and said "Well, hello young man! take a seat right here". I was so upset.

I think this is a terrible punishment, for whatever it was. Do I think kids should get away with always screwing up and never be punished? No, of course not, but there is a better way. I get so annoyed when I see people share this and go "GIVE them parent of the YEAR! this kid won't end up in Jail, old school punishment, bring it back and get this country back in order". If my kid was doing drugs I think i'd rather take them to some place where they could see first hand how it screws people's lives up, (the major drugs) than post a shaming video.

[cindyt]

My mother would have killed me had I cut my hair. Talking about a power trip. I had frizzy hair that should have been tamed somehow, in a ponytail or pigtails, but she would not allow me to wear it any way but with a headband. So I left for school like that and as soon as I go there I pulled it back into a hair clasp or some other way. This was before social media, of course, but she did threaten to make me do something in public once if I didn't straighten out. It wasn't misbehavior, either, or wetting the bed. It was something I couldn't help but it inconvenienced her. Children are so self conclusions about their body as it changes and to shame one like this man did disqualifies him as a dad.

[Mansfield67]

Only hair-cutting girls can cut hair, I love that ! I had hair half way down my back, my parents were always after me to get it cut. Now that I'm of a certain age there is no hair left to cut ! I shave it down to the skull. Every time my parents see me they say I wish you would let your hair grow a little bit.Sorry Mum and Dad it's too late! I would look like Larry David or Larry Fine of The Three Stooges. My advice to guys is to shave it when you only got five hairs on the top of your head ! LOL

[Karen372]

I have heard about this video, but can't bring myself to watch it. *(Strange, coming from someone on THIS site! haha) Something needs to be done to that man. Fine him, community service- helping with abused children, jail time even...SOMETHING.

[cleanskull]

My wife was a stylist for 35 years. I'm going to call her a hair cutting girl and see if I get hit. My mom wouldn't smack me in public but would get ahold of my arm and dig her nails in to get my attention. Just short of breaking the skin. Wolverine had nothing on that gal. Dad would just give me one of THOSE looks. What went on in the family stayed in the family. TMI rules in social media.

[StudioJoe]

Who's the partially-obscured red-headed sack-o-shit on the left side of the frame, the biological mom or the enabling live-in girlfriend?

[Dulcinea]

http://fox2now.com/2015/06/10/police...rges-expected/

[john*thomas]

Again......bullshit, bullshit, bullshit.......To expand.......Anyone that is capable of doing what they did to that girl is responsible for her being screwed up. The abused often times refuses to blame their abuser especially at such a young age when they haven't had counseling to understand it's not their fault.

Anyone that would do this to their daughter deserves to have the scissors shoved into their eyes. I most certainly was not a perfect parent. There are many things I wish to take back but I've told my kids that where I screwed up it was my shortcomings, not theirs.

Nothing like this though. I might have grounded them when I should have understood more.

[cindyt]

I agree, john*thomas. Not all damaged children commit suicide, of course, but some do, and I would hate to be responsible for that.

[pkstracy]

So sad to think that she took her life because she felt that her life would be ruined over one picture. Like I tell my younger cousins, what you put on the internet is there forever for everyone to see, no matter if you wipe it from your computer, it can still be found.

[atomicbettie]

yep, I agree. Kids still do not understand how things like this happen and get around. They just trust people they shouldn't. They need to learn to never put anything out there, even if they only send it to one person, that they wouldn't want anyone else to see (or read).

I hate to blame the dad for this because suicide is usually a personal decision made for reasons we will never know, but when you are that age, your brain is not fully formed yet and you are so much more affected by the things that happen to you. So yes, technically she felt upset about the possibility of the picture getting around, but part of it is because her dad shamed her about it so much that he cut off her hair. Of course that made her feel even worse about it. The other reason given was that she was bullied at school because of the picture and that she couldn't join student government. Another reason her father (and mother) could have used this as a learning lesson but also supported her at the same time instead of making it worse cutting all her hair off. How do you think that affected the bullying. I understand her dad didn't upload the shaming video, but the shaming went on way past the video when she had to go around school with her hair chopped off after already having this reputation and kids teasing her over the picture she sent. I also don't understand why her parents didn't want her to participate in student government, mine would have loved me to get more involved. Unless they were thinking like parents at this point and thought it might just lead to most disappointment because she was already having problems with her reputation at school. It also might have helped, though.

I am not blaming the parents here, but I do think they could have done things differently. I am sure they wish they had in hindsight and I feel terrible for anyone who loses a child to suicide.

I just watched the show Web of Lies about Megan Meyer for at least the 3rd time. Another 12 or 13 year old who killed herself, this over what ended up to be a 40 year old mother of a friend who pretended to be a boy on the internet just to harass her. That woman needs to be locked up if nothing else in a mental hospital for driving that girl to suicide.

Kids that age are delicate, and don't always have the mental maturity to realize that things like these will pass, it can seem like the end of the world to them, and for these two it literally was. Adults need to understand this and not bully kids as well, which is what happened in both of these cases, imo. For any adult to not understand that and do anything to make a situation where a kid feels bad to make it worse is just sad.

[pkstracy]

Well said Bette, I was blaming the father when I thought, as the first reports said, that this was about the hair cutting and the video, now that I know the true facts, see can't believe everything you read or hear, I do not blame the father at all for her death, He didn't have to cut her hair but I guess in his mind he thought it would work.

[lynn wilson]

The hair cutting may not have had anything to do with her suicide....but I still don't understand how you could do that to your child
ok she did wrong ,,,,she was only 13 but humiliation is not the way to teach a child just my opinion

[NOVSTORM]

I will never forget in 1978 at my dads funeral and the reception later at the house my niece talked my 13 yr old daughter into shaving her eyebrows off and painting them on. I was trying to keep it together because I loved my dad very much and i was going thru a nasty divorce and here walks the kid into the back yard looking like a HOOCHIE mamma...my first reaction was shock and then io started to laugh and wound up crying LOL.. She asked me if she was in trouble and I said..Look it is your face, your friends, and your own fault so tomorrow morning when you see what you have done to your face you need that to be your punishment for stupidity lol They never grew back like they were either...I understand what that little girl did by sending a stupid picture to some damn boy got her in trouble but none of tho should have happened. The boy more then likely showed that picture around as boys that age do but what her father did?? He has to live with the shit for the rest of his life, I know he didn't put that on the web but he did cut her hair and that was a very stupid move. The whole thing was way too much for her to handle that poor little girl.