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Thread: Martin Manley: Today is the Last Day of My Life

  1. #1
    DisneyStacy Guest

    Martin Manley: Today is the Last Day of My Life

    "Today is August 15, 2013. Today is my 60th birthday. Today is the last day of my life. Today, I committed suicide. Today, is the first day this site is active, but it will be here for years to come."
    Former Kansas City Star sports reporter and SportsInReview.com editor Martin Manley shot himself in front of a police station on his 60th Birthday. It was a suicide he planned for a year.

    “I’ve planned to end my own life for as long as I remember. I didn’t put a date on it, however, until June 11, 2012. I never accepted the (what I would call…) archaic notion that I should simply die at some point – either in a long drawn out miserable death or in an instant for which I was not prepared. That was an insane thought in my orderly world and I knew the only way I could be confident about going out the way I wanted was to do it at a relatively early age.”

    Here is a link to the website he left with detailed accounts of his life and his planned death:

    http://www.zeroshare.info/


    "If you are trying to imagine what it was like in the closing minutes - standing there next to a tree in the dark at the corner of a parking lot all by myself with a gun and a bullet... you are worrying too much about what must have been going through my head - no pun intended. I guarantee you from having imagined my way through it a hundred times, the only thing going through my head was asking forgiveness, remembering those whom I love, being glad I was able to end it the way I wanted and thrilled to death that I left this website. Don't weep for me dying alone. We ALL die alone."
    Last edited by DisneyStacy; 09-12-2013 at 08:17 AM.

  2. #2
    ktkatinmn Guest
    I note that every link that I find when I google this man is a message regarding 'untreated depression'. Was he really suffering from depression? I have no education in psychology - or any other ology for that matter - so I cannot judge one way or the other. I'm sure that people will study this and form an educated opinion. I am anxiously awaiting responses from the members of this forum, educated or otherwise.

    This is really interesting. Definitely thought provoking while reading through it.

    I cannot decide exactly how I feel about how his life ended. I did not know who this man was, but it certainly seems that he spent a great deal of time considering what he was going to do.


    I have occasionly wondered how I would die.

    I ALWAYS picture the result of the self-inflicted abuse of myself: mostly smoking (currently) and drugs (many years in the past). I have pictured the obvious cancer and the not-so obvious drug deal gone wrong or DUI death.

    There have been times when I have been at a horribly low point and thought of, or even tried, suicide.

    Once I had gone through the phase in my life that I like to call 'Pulling my head out of my ass' and have taken a productive turn, I have made arrangements for myself, so that my family will not have to worry about arrangements when I do pass, but I have not at any point, when I am clear headed, thought about making my own end in a way that I would be at peace with...

    Part of me wants to say 'good for him'. He picked the way he wanted his end to be. Quite frankly, I am scared of being stuck in a nursing home, scared of losing my mind, scared of being in long term pain, I actually kind of 'get it'.

    He definitely seemed lucid to me, in his writings. And if he actually thought about it specifically for 14 months before he did it... There doesn't seem to be any conflict in him about what he was doing. Oh I don't know...

    Part of me is all 'his poor family/friends'.

    Part of me is all DH - where are the pictures...sigh.

  3. #3
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    Fascinating. No time to read all of it in one sitting, but I'll probably revisit in the future.
    I'm with ktkatinmn - wondering if he really was depressed (if there ever was a suicide that *wasn't*, and also wasn't triggered by an external reason like terminal illness or family finances, this is the one suicide that wasn't borne of depression).
    I hope he was right about his brother and sister - he basically said they weren't close to him, and that they'd cope with his suicide just fine. That kind of assumption seems like a bit of a gamble (especially since he likely hadn't polled them beforehand - they didn't know he'd been planning it), plus the whole world can now read that part, potentially hurtful/embarrassing for the brother and sister. Regardless of different people's reasons behind committing suicide, one common misconception is that their loved ones won't really care/mind if they kill themselves, and/or their loved ones will be better off without them anyway. ("Loved ones" is a stretch, though, concerning Manley and his siblings, at least according to Manley's own words.)
    "We've had threads about guys fucking picnic tables, animals and dead bodies. Third boob ain't going to stop a damn thing." - cleanskull

  4. #4
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    I spent the better part of this hour reading that.. whoa!

    Like MirrorDimly, I'm sure I'll go back to that... I need to read of suicides and such in rather small doses (but my morbid fascination dictates that I must read it... small doses notwithstanding!)

    I read "Food and Drink" and "Other Suicides"... and I, too, hope to God he didn't underestimate the affect his suicide would have on his siblings. Experience tells me it's an horrific thing to go through. I wonder how they feel upon reading this? I wish... I wish he'd met with them and asked them first-hand (or got a good sense of) how they felt about him creating his own demise. Perhaps he would've realized he was bringing on a great deal of pain for some people who really didn't deserve it but will have to live with it evermore. That is a very haunting thing to contemplate.

    Anyway, thanks for the link, consider it bookmarked. It's going to be enriching I'm sure.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    I am the master of my fate:
    I am the captain of my soul! (Invictus)
    (And Timothy McVeigh's last words...)

  5. #5
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    That was a depressing read actually.
    I am a sick puppy....woof woof!!!
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    Carping the living shit out of the Diem. - Me!!
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  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by TaupinJohn View Post
    I, too, hope to God he didn't underestimate the affect his suicide would have on his siblings. Experience tells me it's an horrific thing to go through. I wonder how they feel upon reading this? I wish... I wish he'd met with them and asked them first-hand (or got a good sense of) how they felt about him creating his own demise. Perhaps he would've realized he was bringing on a great deal of pain for some people who really didn't deserve it but will have to live with it evermore. That is a very haunting thing to contemplate.
    ^^this^^
    "We've had threads about guys fucking picnic tables, animals and dead bodies. Third boob ain't going to stop a damn thing." - cleanskull

  7. #7
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    He couldve at least had his suicide filmed and posted to the website. God what a self enveloped yet undeveloped drama queen this elderly male wrinkle wrought twinkle twat was. The links on his website demonstrate the uninspired psychosis of a boring middle class midwestern androgyne (note broad shouldered partners Chris and Terry). How anal that his suicide page has an ever so boring 911 conspiracy theory link that espouses the bush govs official version of events. Slightly more interesting than some exhibitionist housewifes documentation of her trip to Skaggs Alpha Beta to purchase Jiffy brand peanutbutter (only because of the option to click on links). Soooo boring.
    A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ichabodius View Post
    He couldve at least had his suicide filmed and posted to the website. God what a self enveloped yet undeveloped drama queen this elderly male wrinkle wrought twinkle twat was. The links on his website demonstrate the uninspired psychosis of a boring middle class midwestern androgyne (note broad shouldered partners Chris and Terry). How anal that his suicide page has an ever so boring 911 conspiracy theory link that espouses the bush govs official version of events. Slightly more interesting than some exhibitionist housewifes documentation of her trip to Skaggs Alpha Beta to purchase Jiffy brand peanutbutter (only because of the option to click on links). Soooo boring.
    Exactly. The conspiracy crap reminds me of my nutty nextdoor neighbor who drives around in circles every night convinced everybody's out to get him.
    .

  9. #9
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    I don't disagree with this man's decision. Death hurts the people we love regardless. I do understand that suicide can be worse and leave questions unanswered. But watching someone die from a long drawn out illness can be even harder than an unexpected death. Ultimately he chose to end it in a way that allowed him to avoid suffering and hopefully give his family some sense of closure through his correspondence. I spent quite a bit of time thinking about this man and his action. I've concluded that he has/had the right to choose his time. But the fucker should have filmed it.
    I am the king of all things stupid!

  10. #10
    DisneyStacy Guest
    I don't disagree with it either, and even respect what he did. What I think is saddest is that he believes that he won't be forgotten because of the site, and unfortunately, I don't think that site garnered any where near the attention that he hoped it would.

  11. #11
    gottaqhfilly Guest
    So he finally let loose his last bit of hot air. I could not begin to tell you how little I care that this pompous jerk offed himself.

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by SomeChick View Post
    Exactly. The conspiracy crap reminds me of my nutty nextdoor neighbor who drives around in circles every night convinced everybody's out to get him.
    Any interest in some midnight pranks? Run over to his car (in the rare moment that he might not be looking/filming), and slap on the bumper sticker that says, JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE PARANOID, DOESN'T MEAN THAT EVERYONE'S NOT OUT TO GET YOU.
    "We've had threads about guys fucking picnic tables, animals and dead bodies. Third boob ain't going to stop a damn thing." - cleanskull

  13. #13
    carrieanne Guest
    I can understand suicide when there are health problems, quality of life issues, etc. But he seemed to be perfectly healthy. Why not wait until you develop some sort of problem worth "escaping"? How many people would love to have the good health to enjoy their life, and he just threw it away? If I was someone who loved him I would be SO mad at him. It would make those he supposedly loved figure that he really didn't care about them at all, he was much more interested in some grand gesture that he thought would get a lot of attention. Maybe he thought it would be all over the news. Well, it wasn't. By next month people will have forgotten it. His page, after looking once, isn't something most people will care about or visit again.

  14. #14
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    I think this is why he did it
    I began seeing the problems that come with aging some time ago. I was sick of leaving the garage door open overnight. I was sick of forgetting to zip up when I put on my pants. I was sick of forgetting the names of my best friends. I was sick of going downstairs and having no idea why. I was sick of watching a movie, going to my account on IMDB to type up a review and realizing I've already seen it and, worse, already written a review! I was sick of having to dig through the trash to find an envelope that was sent to me so I could remember my own address - especially since I lived in the same place for the last nine years!
    This is a quote from the website,
    I think he had early stages of dementia going into Alzheimer's

  15. #15
    Thanks for posting this. I haven't read all of his blog yet but the parts I did I found absolutely fascinating. Here is a memorial site his family started:

    http://martinmanleymemorial.blogspot.com/

  16. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by DisneyStacy View Post
    "Today is August 15, 2013. Today is my 60th birthday. Today is the last day of my life. Today, I committed suicide. Today, is the first day this site is active, but it will be here for years to come."
    Former Kansas City Star sports reporter and SportsInReview.com editor Martin Manley shot himself in front of a police station on his 60th Birthday. It was a suicide he planned for a year.

    “I’ve planned to end my own life for as long as I remember. I didn’t put a date on it, however, until June 11, 2012. I never accepted the (what I would call…) archaic notion that I should simply die at some point – either in a long drawn out miserable death or in an instant for which I was not prepared. That was an insane thought in my orderly world and I knew the only way I could be confident about going out the way I wanted was to do it at a relatively early age.”

    Here is a link to the website he left with detailed accounts of his life and his planned death:

    http://www.zeroshare.info/


    "If you are trying to imagine what it was like in the closing minutes - standing there next to a tree in the dark at the corner of a parking lot all by myself with a gun and a bullet... you are worrying too much about what must have been going through my head - no pun intended. I guarantee you from having imagined my way through it a hundred times, the only thing going through my head was asking forgiveness, remembering those whom I love, being glad I was able to end it the way I wanted and thrilled to death that I left this website. Don't weep for me dying alone. We ALL die alone."
    just reading that makes me not like him very much. Dont know what it is exactly but I think it's how he's saying it. It almost comes off that he's a control freak with a martyr complex.

  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by neilmpenny View Post
    That was a depressing read actually.
    I agree. It was depressing. I feel for his family. Someone is missing him right now.
    Live free or die: Death is not the worst of evils.

  18. #18
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    I kind of see this guy's point. He had his reasons. They looked like legit reasons. He even tried to donate some organs before he went, and they gave him the runaround! Imagine that! I pray for his soul, but he knew what he was doing. He wanted to go before he became a burden on friends and family. I am 38, and I keep hearing that Social Security and Medicare will be tapped by the time I am elgible for it, and I really don't want to even think about what I will do when I am too damned old to work, or piss properly in a toilet. People kill themselves for more trivial reasons. One of my best friends, when I was a teenager, offed himself over a female. I miss and love the guy, but must admit, now that was downright stupid.

  19. #19
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    People kill themselves for all kinds of reasons. But any situation can be made better. But a person must reach out and ask for help for that to happen.
    .

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