View Poll Results: What Do You Believe In?

Voters
82. You may not vote on this poll
  • God

    54 65.85%
  • Jesus

    47 57.32%
  • heaven/hell

    39 47.56%
  • afterlife

    52 63.41%
  • reincarnation

    28 34.15%
  • ghosts

    51 62.20%
  • aliens

    29 35.37%
  • Bigfoot

    14 17.07%
  • Loch Ness Monster

    16 19.51%
  • I believe in none of the above

    8 9.76%
Multiple Choice Poll.
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Thread: What Do You Believe In? - Faith/Religious/Spiritual Issues

  1. #101
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    I have found that I can't let others get in my way, as far as the Lord is concerned. If they want to be that way towards others, then that is there worry, not mine.

  2. #102
    divaghosty Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by Katie View Post
    I have found that I can't let others get in my way, as far as the Lord is concerned. If they want to be that way towards others, then that is there worry, not mine.
    That's the stance I have learned to take as well katie. Hence the reason we are still looking for a good Church where people are happy to be there and truly believe in the practices they preach. I know no Church is going to be prefect because Churches are filled with humans but I am just looking for a good fit for me. Ya know?

  3. #103
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    I do know, and admire you for looking, and not giving up.

  4. #104
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    Quote Originally Posted by divaghosty View Post
    Well, one of my main problems with the Baptist Church is their stance on homosexuality. Everyone is entitled to their own oppinion but I just personally don't agree with it. Frankly even the Episcipol Church is split on their feelings about the subject.

    And, please keep in mind that this is just MY experience and I do not want to offend you or anyone else. I was raised in the same Church and everything was great. However, as I got married and moved to a different area I found several of the Baptist Churches to be very cliquey and rather suspicious of and/or judgemental toward the people they referred to as "New Christians". Also, there seems to be alot of hypocrisy within the Baptist Church (granted that happens within alot of denominations and maybe I just notice it happening more with Baptists because I am in the Bible Belt). Well, that's my opinion.

    please don't be offended.
    Yeah judge not, but there certainly is a lot of it going on. I figure it's none of my business how others live their lives, no matter what sexual preference or whatever is going on.

  5. #105
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    smellslikealmonds - wise advice. If you don't go, how can you expect that of them. I am agnostic on a good day, a raging athiest on a bad day. But, church and/or Sunday school never hurt a child. I think I can safely say from what I have read about you all so far, none are far out Fred Phelps nut type "Christians".

  6. #106
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    Quote Originally Posted by poppie View Post
    smellslikealmonds - wise advice. If you don't go, how can you expect that of them. I am agnostic on a good day, a raging athiest on a bad day. But, church and/or Sunday school never hurt a child. I think I can safely say from what I have read about you all so far, none are far out Fred Phelps nut type "Christians".
    I just want to give my kids the option. I think they can make their own choices about religion later.

  7. #107
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    Quote Originally Posted by divaghosty View Post
    Well, one of my main problems with the Baptist Church is their stance on homosexuality. Everyone is entitled to their own oppinion but I just personally don't agree with it. Frankly even the Episcipol Church is split on their feelings about the subject.

    And, please keep in mind that this is just MY experience and I do not want to offend you or anyone else. I was raised in the same Church and everything was great. However, as I got married and moved to a different area I found several of the Baptist Churches to be very cliquey and rather suspicious of and/or judgemental toward the people they referred to as "New Christians". Also, there seems to be alot of hypocrisy within the Baptist Church (granted that happens within alot of denominations and maybe I just notice it happening more with Baptists because I am in the Bible Belt). Well, that's my opinion.

    please don't be offended.
    Diva - trust me, it would take way more than that to offend me! I may be a Godfearing Baptist, but I also say live and let live. If you don't jive with my thinking, no sweat. As long as I'm not judged, I try not to judge anyone else. If I am judged, I normally just think that it's their loss. As long as no one hurts any animals, then everything will be cool!

    But I must say, I hope my church isn't like that. I will say that I'm a Southern Baptist (I don't know if that was your church or not) and I don't know how different a Southern Baptist is from a regular Baptist. My church doesn't preach often on homosexuality. As a matter of fact, I haven't ever heard them preach on it other than quoting Corinthians and that's in with a list of a whole lot of other things. My church is more of an "Everyone's Welcome" type church. I do understand about the "cliquery" aspect, I see that as well. I think that's probably everywhere though. I just try to be nice to everyone and everyone seems nice to me. I've always said that I go to church to praise, worship and learn. I don't go to make friends. I do have some great friends that I met in church, but that's not my reason for going.

    Going back to the homosexuality issue, my God is a God of love. He loves everyone (even the ones who don't love him) and he created everyone (and God don't make no mistakes). I have no idea why he created some people homosexual and some people heterosexual, but I don't know why he did a lot of things. He didn't ask for my advice at any time. All I know, is the Bible tells us to love everyone (it doesn't say anything about LIKING everyone), so that's what I try to do. A guy that works for me goes to a different Baptist church and is most definately homophobic. I just can't wait until his son finally has "the talk" with him. It's coming like a freight train. I'm interested to see how this man reacts. Will he have a Christian attitude or will he have a attitude full of "religion"?

    As far as a judgemental church goes, I think the vast majority of churches are that way, unfortunately.

    Hypocrisy is definately rampant over here. And did you know that if you call people on it, they tend to get upset? How rude of them. Actually, yes, I've noticed that in many Christians. That's why I wasn't one for so long.

    The bottom line is I'm more concerned with having a relationship with God, not a religion. I think if more Christians (and non-believers) thought that way, the world would be a lot better place.

    Editor's Note: The above is ENTIRELY my opinion and not meant in any way to offend anyone.
    For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-39

  8. #108
    divaghosty Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by SheBoss View Post


    Going back to the homosexuality issue, my God is a God of love. He loves everyone (even the ones who don't love him) and he created everyone (and God don't make no mistakes). I have no idea why he created some people homosexual and some people heterosexual, but I don't know why he did a lot of things. He didn't ask for my advice at any time. All I know, is the Bible tells us to love everyone (it doesn't say anything about LIKING everyone), so that's what I try to do. A guy that works for me goes to a different Baptist church and is most definately homophobic. I just can't wait until his son finally has "the talk" with him. It's coming like a freight train. I'm interested to see how this man reacts. Will he have a Christian attitude or will he have a attitude full of "religion"?
    LOL That had me doubled over laughing!

    Yes, my Church was part of the Southern Baptist Convention.
    Last edited by divaghosty; 02-08-2008 at 01:14 PM.

  9. #109
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    Glad I could make you laugh! And no, I've never heard of him; however, I will say that although I found Christ (or he found me) at 19, I was never raised in church. I definately didn't know what to do with my new "religion" at 19, so I just started reading the Bible. It wasn't until 3 or 4 years ago that I started church "shopping" and found myself in a Southern Baptist church. SO - all that to say, no, I don't know him, I don't even know who's head of it now. I'll check out the link though.
    For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-39

  10. #110
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    Diva so true. I was raised a Catholic. I tried other churches and then I finally figuredit out. I just do not like organized religion. I can say what I need to alone in my home. I guess I just do not need someone telling me right from wrong because I already know that. I did the sunday school thing for the kids when they were little and then let them make up their own minds on what church they wanted to go with or if they wanted to go with organized religion.
    I really had a problem with a book that has been rewritten so many times by man and having a lot of foolish things in it. Especially about women and homosexuals.
    Anyway I just do my thing on my own time and if I screw up I just ask forgiveness in a one on one chat. LOl Hope He is listening. LOL

  11. #111
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    Quote Originally Posted by NOVSTORM View Post
    Anyway I just do my thing on my own time and if I screw up I just ask forgiveness in a one on one chat. LOl Hope He is listening. LOL
    Oh, he's listening!
    For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-39

  12. #112
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    Quote Originally Posted by NOVSTORM View Post
    Diva so true. I was raised a Catholic. I tried other churches and then I finally figuredit out. I just do not like organized religion. I can say what I need to alone in my home. I guess I just do not need someone telling me right from wrong because I already know that. I did the sunday school thing for the kids when they were little and then let them make up their own minds on what church they wanted to go with or if they wanted to go with organized religion.
    I really had a problem with a book that has been rewritten so many times by man and having a lot of foolish things in it. Especially about women and homosexuals.
    Anyway I just do my thing on my own time and if I screw up I just ask forgiveness in a one on one chat. LOl Hope He is listening. LOL

    great point!
    "I'm not great at the advice, can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?"



  13. #113
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    Quote Originally Posted by NOVSTORM View Post
    Diva so true. I was raised a Catholic. I tried other churches and then I finally figuredit out. I just do not like organized religion. I can say what I need to alone in my home. I guess I just do not need someone telling me right from wrong because I already know that. I did the sunday school thing for the kids when they were little and then let them make up their own minds on what church they wanted to go with or if they wanted to go with organized religion.
    I really had a problem with a book that has been rewritten so many times by man and having a lot of foolish things in it. Especially about women and homosexuals.
    Anyway I just do my thing on my own time and if I screw up I just ask forgiveness in a one on one chat. LOl Hope He is listening. LOL
    NOV--I couldn't have said it better myself. I'm a Christian too (and ostensibly a Baptist, lol), and I've tried intermittently over the years to "find" a church I could attend without feeling like an "outsider" (being gay). The last Baptist church I attended (and this is in SAN FRANCISCO, mind you), handed me a list when I entered of "do's and dont's" when attending services. The first item on the list was a dress code, which addressed items like tight clothing and "inappropriate" colors--I remember purple was one of them.

    I politely handed the list back to the guy and left. I've never tried again, I'll just do my "one on one's" with God as you say--so far it's working JUST FINE, thank you!



  14. #114
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    Try Episcopal, Jack. :-)

  15. #115
    divaghosty Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by Jack-O-Lantern View Post
    NOV--I couldn't have said it better myself. I'm a Christian too (and ostensibly a Baptist, lol), and I've tried intermittently over the years to "find" a church I could attend without feeling like an "outsider" (being gay).
    Have you tried any Episcipol churches? We had several gay/lesbian couples at our church and I had a sneaking suspision that the minister was a lesbian as well (not to stereotype anyone but I have pretty good gaydar).

  16. #116
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    Jinx!

  17. #117
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jack-O-Lantern View Post
    NOV--I couldn't have said it better myself. I'm a Christian too (and ostensibly a Baptist, lol), and I've tried intermittently over the years to "find" a church I could attend without feeling like an "outsider" (being gay). The last Baptist church I attended (and this is in SAN FRANCISCO, mind you), handed me a list when I entered of "do's and dont's" when attending services. The first item on the list was a dress code, which addressed items like tight clothing and "inappropriate" colors--I remember purple was one of them.

    I politely handed the list back to the guy and left. I've never tried again, I'll just do my "one on one's" with God as you say--so far it's working JUST FINE, thank you!
    I'm really beginning to like my church better and better after all the posts on this thread. I can't begin to imagine people handing out a do and don't list before coming to church! Wow!

    Hey! I have an idea! All of y'all just swing on down to Mississippi and come to my church. If nothing else, we Baptists can cook and eat! Have you ever heard of a Baptist going on a fast?
    For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-39

  18. #118
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    Quote Originally Posted by SheBoss View Post
    I'm really beginning to like my church better and better after all the posts on this thread. I can't begin to imagine people handing out a do and don't list before coming to church! Wow!

    Hey! I have an idea! All of y'all just swing on down to Mississippi and come to my church. If nothing else, we Baptists can cook and eat! Have you ever heard of a Baptist going on a fast?
    And when we have a funeral, the food never ends.

  19. #119
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    Thanks Noelle and Diva! I hadn't heard that before, and I will definitely give an Episcopal church a try...I appreciate your suggestions!



  20. #120
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    Hey, the lord works in mysterious ways.....(though whoever said that probably didnt have the FAD Forum in mind).

  21. #121
    divaghosty Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by SheBoss View Post

    If nothing else, we Baptists can cook and eat! Have you ever heard of a Baptist going on a fast?
    Now, that I will definitely agree with!! There ain't nothing like a covered dish dinner at a Baptist church!!

    you know, I do miss all of the old Southern Gospel hyms. Music at Methodist and Episcipol Churches SUCKS to be sure. LOL

  22. #122
    divaghosty Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by Noelle Page View Post
    Hey, the lord works in mysterious ways.....(though whoever said that probably didnt have the FAD Forum in mind).
    LOL! Great minds think alike!

  23. #123
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    Episcopal Churches have fab music! Tends to be classical though. But usually the musicians are of high quality, at least in my experience.

  24. #124
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    May I go OT for a sec? I've got honey roasted peanuts and cant stop eating them.....somebody, quick, say something to make me stop!

  25. #125
    divaghosty Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by Noelle Page View Post
    Episcopal Churches have fab music! Tends to be classical though. But usually the musicians are of high quality, at least in my experience.
    Really? Well maybe it's just the church we attended. I don't even know how to describe it other than just ancient sounding, almost chanting. Maybe chanting is not the word I am looking for. I don't know. maybe I should start my own Church that preaches Episcopal beliefs but has a Baptist choir minister

  26. #126
    divaghosty Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by Noelle Page View Post
    May I go OT for a sec? I've got honey roasted peanuts and cant stop eating them.....somebody, quick, say something to make me stop!
    LOVE them!! But aren't they really fattening??

  27. #127
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    Quote Originally Posted by Noelle Page View Post
    May I go OT for a sec? I've got honey roasted peanuts and cant stop eating them.....somebody, quick, say something to make me stop!
    Maybe if I call you a "bear" Noelle ???!!! Would that help ???



  28. #128
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    I'll stop, I'll stop!!!

  29. #129
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    Quote Originally Posted by Noelle Page View Post
    I'll stop, I'll stop!!!
    I thought that might do it



  30. #130
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    Quote Originally Posted by divaghosty View Post
    Now, that I will definitely agree with!! There ain't nothing like a covered dish dinner at a Baptist church!!

    you know, I do miss all of the old Southern Gospel hyms. Music at Methodist and Episcipol Churches SUCKS to be sure. LOL


    that's the one thing i miss about church. i used to sing in the choir at my grandparents church in east texas. i love hymns!
    "I'm not great at the advice, can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?"



  31. #131
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    Quote Originally Posted by divaghosty View Post
    LOVE them!! But aren't they really fattening??
    Why do you think I asked for an intervention?

  32. #132
    divaghosty Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by Noelle Page View Post
    Why do you think I asked for an intervention?
    Well, did you stop?? I need someone to remind me how fattening peanut M&Ms are. We have a huge jar of them and i can't stay away. LOL

  33. #133
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    Quote Originally Posted by divaghosty View Post
    Now, that I will definitely agree with!! There ain't nothing like a covered dish dinner at a Baptist church!!

    you know, I do miss all of the old Southern Gospel hyms. Music at Methodist and Episcipol Churches SUCKS to be sure. LOL
    We have a mixture of praise and hymns. Man, when we get going on "How Great Thou Art", sometimes I think the old hemmoroids on the back row are going to jump the pews!

    Ooops! Did I say that out loud?
    For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-39

  34. #134
    divaghosty Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by SheBoss View Post
    We have a mixture of praise and hymns. Man, when we get going on "How Great Thou Art", sometimes I think the old hemmoroids on the back row are going to jump the pews!

    Ooops! Did I say that out loud?
    OMG!! That is one of my favorites!! Oh and what about the Old Rugged Cross??? I love to go to Church with my sister because she lives in a very small community in the N. Ga Mountains and attends a very small Baptist Church. Man, they sing all the good songs!

  35. #135
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    Quote Originally Posted by divaghosty View Post
    Well, did you stop?? I need someone to remind me how fattening peanut M&Ms are. We have a huge jar of them and i can't stay away. LOL
    Yes, I finally disgusted myself enough and put them away. Maybe it was divine intervention.

    And now the lord is telling me to get off the internet (also addicting) and get some stuff done. Toodles!

  36. #136
    divaghosty Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by Noelle Page View Post
    Yes, I finally disgusted myself enough and put them away. Maybe it was divine intervention.

    And now the lord is telling me to get off the internet (also addicting) and get some stuff done. Toodles!
    ciao baby! see ya around!

  37. #137
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    Quote Originally Posted by divaghosty View Post
    OMG!! That is one of my favorites!! Oh and what about the Old Rugged Cross??? I love to go to Church with my sister because she lives in a very small community in the N. Ga Mountains and attends a very small Baptist Church. Man, they sing all the good songs!
    In The Garden and Amazing Grace are some of my favorites.

  38. #138
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    Quote Originally Posted by divaghosty View Post
    One of my friends who's daughter attends the same school as mine is in the same boat when it comes to Church. Funny story-apparently all of the kids would talk about going to Church and I guess her daughter never had anythng to contribute however she was sooooo excited when the family went to a funeral and she asked her mom if that counts as going to Church! LMAO!!

    Do your carers know you have internet access?

  39. #139
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    Serious part: Being born and raised in a southern Baptist home, I hear (boy do I hear!) what'll y'all have discussed regarding cliques...been there and done that and my family forced out of a local church because the leader of the clique had it in for us. I guess we disrupted their little social club, and this particular small church had a history of "getting rid of troublemakers".

    However, until Jesus returns, nobody's gonna find a perfect preacher, pastor, deacon, or elder. He told us not to forsake the assembling together of ourselves for edification and worship..."where two or more of you are gathered together in my name". I participate in my current church's (still southern Baptist) services, activities, and ministries as much as possible. I know that I know that I know that I was saved and, as Jerry Clower said, that's the mainest most thing. I'm not perfect, just forgiven and I've forgiven those in that small church who "run us off".

    I encourage those of you who feel a yearning to become a part of church fellowship to activiley do so. Look around...church shop...pray about it while doing so, and you'll eventually find a church that you feel comfortable with.

    Regarding gay's who may or may not have found a church to be a part of, here's what I believe based on Scripture and I know I'll get it stating this but it's what I believe: God loves homosexuals but hates homosexuality. God seperates the person and soul from that person's lifestyle, whatever it might be. Read this guy's story: http://www.rockvillecogop.com/board/...781/109158.htm . My intent is not to offend or cast a stumbling block...I'm stating my personal beliefs in love based on Scripture.


    Funny part:
    Three pastors were sitting in a cafe drinking coffee and discussing how each divides each Sunday's offerings.
    The Methodist pastor says "I have a simple method. After services I go out back, drawn a vertical line in the dirt, toss the offerings up in air...what lands on the right side of the line goes to missions, what lands on the left stays at the church."
    The Presbyterian paster says "I do a similar thing only I draw a circle...all the money that lands outside the circle goes to missions and what lands inside the circle stays at the church."
    The Baptist pastor says: "My method is much simpler. I throw all the money up in the air and I figure whatever the Lord want's He'll grab".
    Last edited by Bidmor; 02-08-2008 at 03:09 PM.
    The Strange Case Of The Missing Corpse
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o-GmH8eFJFU

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  40. #140
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bidmor View Post
    Regarding gay's who may or may not have found a church to be a part of, here's what I believe based on Scripture and I know I'll get it stating this but it's what I believe: God loves homosexuals but hates homosexuality. God seperates the person and soul from that person's lifestyle, whatever it might be. Read this guy's story: http://www.rockvillecogop.com/board/...781/109158.htm . My intent is not to offend or cast a stumbling block...I'm stating my personal beliefs in love based on Scripture.
    I stated the exact same thing in a thread a while back and got flagged for it. Maybe it was just in the wrong thread so it was considered off topic. However, I believe the same thing, only you stated it much better than I ever could. Let the bashing begin!
    For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-39

  41. #141
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    I no longer walk through mine fields.
    Stay in Drugs. Eat your School. Don't do Vegetables.

  42. #142
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    I saw this on another chat forum somewhere. I can't credit the author because I don't know who wrote it:

    Taoism: Shit happens
    Confucianism: Confucius say "shit happen."
    Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn't really shit.
    Zen Buddhism: Shit is, and shit is not.
    Zen Buddhism 2: What is the sound of shit happening?
    Hinduism: This shit has happened before.
    Islam: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.
    Islam 2: If shit happens, kill the person responsible.
    Islam 3: If shit happens, blame Israel.
    Catholicism: If shit happens, you deserve it.
    Protestantism: Let shit happen to someone else.
    Presbyterian: This shit was bound to happen.
    Episcopalian: It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve the right wine with it.
    Methodist: It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve the right grape juice with it.
    Congregationalist: Shit that happens to one person is just as good as the shit that happens to another.
    Unitarian: Shit that happens to one person is just as bad as the shit that happens to another.
    Unitarian 2: Come let us reason together about this shit.
    Lutheran: If shit happens, don't talk about it.
    Fundamentalism: If shit happens, you will go to hell, unless you are born again.
    Fundamentalism 2: If shit happens to a televangelist, it's OK.
    Fundamentalism 3: Shit must be born again.
    Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to us?
    Calvinism: Shit happens because you don't work.
    Seventh Day Adventism: No shit shall happen on a Saturday.
    Creationism: God made all shit.
    Secular Humanism: Shit evolves.
    Christian Science: When shit happens, don't call a doctor--pray!
    Christian Science 2: Shit happening is all in your mind.
    Quakers: Let us not fight over this shit.
    Utopianism: This shit does not stink.
    Darwinism: This shit was once food.
    Capitalism: That's MY shit.
    Communism: It's everybody's shit.
    Feminism: Men are shit.
    Chauvinism: We may be shit, but you can't live without us.
    Commercialism: Let's package this shit.
    Impressionism: From a distance, shit looks like a garden.
    Idolism: Let's bronze this shit.
    Existentialism: Shit doesn't happen; shit IS.
    Existentialism 2: What is shit anyway?
    Stoicism: This shit is good for me.
    Hedonism: There is nothing like a good shit happening!
    Mormonism: God sent us this shit.
    Mormonism 2: This shit is going to happen again.
    Wiccan: As it harms none, let shit happen.
    Scientology: If shit happens, see "Dianetics," page 157.
    Jehovah's Witness: <knock knock> Shit happens.
    Jehovah's Witness 2: May we have a moment of you rtime to show you some of our shit?
    Jehovah's Witness 3: Shit has been prophesied and is imminent; only the righteous shall survive when it happens.
    Moonies: Only really happy shit happens.
    Hare Krishna: Shit happens, rama, rama.
    Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this shit!
    Zoroastrianism: Shit happens half the time.
    Practical: Deal with shit one day at a time.
    Agnostic: Shit might have happened; then again, maybe not.
    Agnostic 2: Did someone shit?
    Agnostic 3: What is this shit?
    Satanism: SNEPPAH TIHS.
    Atheism: What shit?
    Atheism 2: I can't believe this shit!
    Nihilism: No shit!

  43. #143
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    San Antonio
    Posts
    30,248
    Shheeeeeiiittttt?
    A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.

  44. #144
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Wichita Falls,TX
    Posts
    4,202
    Quote Originally Posted by MbalmR View Post
    I saw this on another chat forum somewhere. I can't credit the author because I don't know who wrote it:

    Taoism: Shit happens
    Confucianism: Confucius say "shit happen."
    Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn't really shit.
    Zen Buddhism: Shit is, and shit is not.
    Zen Buddhism 2: What is the sound of shit happening?
    Hinduism: This shit has happened before.
    Islam: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.
    Islam 2: If shit happens, kill the person responsible.
    Islam 3: If shit happens, blame Israel.
    Catholicism: If shit happens, you deserve it.
    Protestantism: Let shit happen to someone else.
    Presbyterian: This shit was bound to happen.
    Episcopalian: It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve the right wine with it.
    Methodist: It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve the right grape juice with it.
    Congregationalist: Shit that happens to one person is just as good as the shit that happens to another.
    Unitarian: Shit that happens to one person is just as bad as the shit that happens to another.
    Unitarian 2: Come let us reason together about this shit.
    Lutheran: If shit happens, don't talk about it.
    Fundamentalism: If shit happens, you will go to hell, unless you are born again.
    Fundamentalism 2: If shit happens to a televangelist, it's OK.
    Fundamentalism 3: Shit must be born again.
    Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to us?
    Calvinism: Shit happens because you don't work.
    Seventh Day Adventism: No shit shall happen on a Saturday.
    Creationism: God made all shit.
    Secular Humanism: Shit evolves.
    Christian Science: When shit happens, don't call a doctor--pray!
    Christian Science 2: Shit happening is all in your mind.
    Quakers: Let us not fight over this shit.
    Utopianism: This shit does not stink.
    Darwinism: This shit was once food.
    Capitalism: That's MY shit.
    Communism: It's everybody's shit.
    Feminism: Men are shit.
    Chauvinism: We may be shit, but you can't live without us.
    Commercialism: Let's package this shit.
    Impressionism: From a distance, shit looks like a garden.
    Idolism: Let's bronze this shit.
    Existentialism: Shit doesn't happen; shit IS.
    Existentialism 2: What is shit anyway?
    Stoicism: This shit is good for me.
    Hedonism: There is nothing like a good shit happening!
    Mormonism: God sent us this shit.
    Mormonism 2: This shit is going to happen again.
    Wiccan: As it harms none, let shit happen.
    Scientology: If shit happens, see "Dianetics," page 157.
    Jehovah's Witness: <knock knock> Shit happens.
    Jehovah's Witness 2: May we have a moment of you rtime to show you some of our shit?
    Jehovah's Witness 3: Shit has been prophesied and is imminent; only the righteous shall survive when it happens.
    Moonies: Only really happy shit happens.
    Hare Krishna: Shit happens, rama, rama.
    Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this shit!
    Zoroastrianism: Shit happens half the time.
    Practical: Deal with shit one day at a time.
    Agnostic: Shit might have happened; then again, maybe not.
    Agnostic 2: Did someone shit?
    Agnostic 3: What is this shit?
    Satanism: SNEPPAH TIHS.
    Atheism: What shit?
    Atheism 2: I can't believe this shit!
    Nihilism: No shit!
    That's just a bunch of shit.

  45. #145
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Middle Earth
    Posts
    13,009
    I like that list axl. I was raised southern baptist and yeah they know how to put on a feed.
    Stay in Drugs. Eat your School. Don't do Vegetables.

  46. #146
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Wisconsin, USA
    Posts
    4,922
    Well, I enjoyed typing it all out, heh heh.

  47. #147
    divaghosty Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by MbalmR View Post
    I saw this on another chat forum somewhere. I can't credit the author because I don't know who wrote it:
    That's funny as shit!

  48. #148
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    1,700
    That's funny shit!!

  49. #149
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Akron, OH
    Posts
    1,448
    Lots of shit going on!

  50. #150
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Mansfield, Ohio
    Posts
    436
    I had to read it twice, to see if I was on the shit list.

    sammi, my angel
    Sherman, my heart
    sebastian, my little love

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