im one who believes that thinks like that happen for a reason.
i mean, youre not constipated for a reason or you dont break your leg for a reason, but thinks like that, yeah....some kind of intervention as Kathy said.
God
Jesus
heaven/hell
afterlife
reincarnation
ghosts
aliens
Bigfoot
Loch Ness Monster
I believe in none of the above
im one who believes that thinks like that happen for a reason.
i mean, youre not constipated for a reason or you dont break your leg for a reason, but thinks like that, yeah....some kind of intervention as Kathy said.
Yep it was God.Originally Posted by Bigfoot
Well, if it was a coincidence it was certainly a fascinating one. One of my aunts was in a near fatal collision many years ago - hit by a drunk and thrown from her car. While she was re-couping in the hospital the doctor discovered that she had cancer - early stages and she was cured. I doubt she would have discovered it quite as early or at all if it had not been for the car crash. For all the ops we may get like that there are tons of incidents that don't seem to turn out the way they should. Who knows...you can concentrate on the car accident or the cancer cure...somewhere along the way I just find the need to let go and let God handle the loose ends.
Okay if you are mormon I apologize! Here is a cartoon depicting what the Mormons Really believe!!
It is the one the best comedy's I have ever seen!
Especially the planet Kolob!!! Its a riot I promise!!!!
Hey I like the many godess wifes and endless sex though!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zy0d1HbItOo
Nice about the goddess wives and the endless nookie...I guess Big Love isn't that far off the track...
LOL When was this cartoon made? "Divorced because of the Mormon church!" That was funny thanks for sharing.
I know it was made before 1979 because that was before the African Americans could join the priesthood!
The leader of the Mormon Church had a revelation in 1979 that they were fit to join the priesthood finally!!! LOL
Sorry to hear you were divorced because of them but not surprised. I have lived among them in Utah for 45 years!!!
If you were referring to me and the statement about divorce, I was quoting the skit. lol I've never been married or were you referring to the movie?
A revelation eh? hahahaha. I've been Utah a few times and It's interesting when I've visited but you live among them!
Renowned Death Hag
Only black MEN. Women, white or otherwise, still can't.
Thank Mr. Smith and kudos to Danny for posting this!
This explains everything and answers all my questions.
And it brings up new questions.
Like, what side is (insert name here) on?
Danny from Utah.....how many wives did you say you have again????Hey I like the many godess wifes and endless sex though!!!
Well hell if I joined the mormon Church when I die I Get my own planet and tons of women for endless celestial sex!!
Well hell if I joined the mormon Church when I die I Get my own planet and tons of women for endless celestial sex!!
Did anybody else notice he didn't answer my question??
ROFL!
Hey I am from Utah, its still illegal!! LOL
I always wanted my own planet.
I have read the Book of Mormon twice through. This IS comedy and there are several inaccuracies. I am not Mormon, because I do not believe that the lost tribes are/were in the Americas.
However, I will say that none of us can possibly know how ridiculous God thinks our own beliefs of the origins of man are (that is if you are a theist of any brand). I grew up in a California magnet for Mormons. Almost every young woman in that town had sex before they graduated high school EXCEPT for most of the Mormon women. I know because I was very close friends with them, and they were blunt about what they did and didn't do and why with their boyfriends. These girls were my rocks when I needed them. They actually intervened when I attempted suicide. Another gave me a home when I was living in my car putting every dime I made as a waitress into my college tuition. All the while, I was NEVER pressured into joining the Church or taking the lessons. I did take a few of the lessons voluntarily and stopped them when my common sense beliefs ran contrary to the teachings. My friends never changed the way they felt about me or the way they treated me.
Years later, my youngest brother converted to the religion. When I was 32, I had a complete abdominal hysterectomy, a bowel resection, and a partial bladder removal. My Pastor and his wife (we were liberal Lutherans or ELCAs) visited one time with some jello. No one in the choir where I was the section leader visited or offered any help. I was well liked in my Church and very active. The members were just always too busy to make me a priority. Not the Mormons.
It was a long recovery, and my brother called people who lived 150 miles away from him whom he'd never met. They came over once a week and cleaned my house and made dinner. Others stopped by to see if we needed food or anything else. They never pressured us into lessons or religious discussions. They were just very kind and loving.
I don't believe that the Book of Mormon is the way things happened or are. However, I do believe that many members of the Mormon Church, including African Americans that I'm friends with, are incredibly giving and kind. That's what Christlike behavior is, and Christlike is the definition of Christian.
Interesting post! I have heard in the other parts of the country Mormons are semi normal and don't go overboard on the beliefs!
The problem is here in Utah its a little over kill on the beliefs.
My daughters have lost friends because we were not Mormon and the parents didn't want to socialize with us!
The reason I posted this is my wife who is an ex-mormon just lost a cousin! She was speaking to her sister who is mormon about this and her sister said he didn't embrace th mormon church which is why he died?
That makes no fucking sense, we all die!!!
The mormons in Utah are giving and kind as well, the problem is here they have a hidden agenda, well most of them!!
Hell because of the LDS church the couple of sex shops in salt lake we have they record you driver license numbers and license plate numbers before you can enter!!
Thats fucked up!!!
Your in trouble then hey!
Damn right!And proud of it!!!
What was said to your wife is horrible. I think we always base our beliefs on our own experiences. Mine are positive, yours are negative. But the whole country seems to have problems with the Church of LDS. It just has always surprised me. I remember when we moved to Bakersfield for awhile and I tried to find a good Lutheran Church to go to. I sat half way through a sermon that focused on the Mormons, Jehova's Witnesses, and others were going to burn in the fiery pits of hell. I left. It was as offensive to me as some of the rules in Utah that punish people who aren't Mormon. Laws that punish people for not being of any certain religion are unconstitutional and truly should not exist. That is unfortunate that they do.
Oh, and I did think of a negative story, but assholes are assholes, I don't blame this on them being Mormon...
Our band went to play in Provo. Throughout the day, our cd was on at the local pizza place where we would be playing that night. The band that got bumped from headlining because we had a song on the college charts was Mormon and pissed about being bumped. They asked me not to sing my song Flowers 4U because I sing it loud and hard and it sounds like "Flowers Fuck You". Well, our MORMON bass player told me that we WOULD be doing the song and not to change a thing. Me being me, I did change something. I sang the entire song "Flowers Fuck You!" loud, hard, and looking right at the snot nosed kids who told me not to sing it. I even threw in a middle finger a couple of times. lol.
Last edited by qulevergrrl; 12-27-2007 at 08:05 PM. Reason: spelling
I knew it!!! do you give them a false licence and #plate?Damn right!
perhaps use Slim Whitman? I see you LOVE him...
You did that in Provo!! My god, the heart of the mormons!!! LOL
God would I have loved to have been a fly on the wall at that concert!!
Your in a band, cool!!!
I mean we have some decent mormons in Utah, I don't hate them. Some of them though just go way overboard on the beliefs here!
They just censor shit like crazy here, they own half the damn local TV and alot of the radio stations!!!!
I guess its just so pushed in your face in Utah!!! We have more LDS churchs on the corners then 7-11's!!!
Are you sure that was a Mormon cartoon? or is it really Scientology pre-Tom Cruise?
LOL
No its what the mormons really believe!! The part about the planet Kolob I never believed. But my wife who is an ex-mormon said yep that is what they believe!! LOL
I about rolled on the floor laughing the first time I saw that!!
Everyday you learn something new, aren't we? Actually, there's a South Park episode where they make joke of the scientologist, and it is hillarious! I will try to find it on youtube...LOL
No its what the mormons really believe!! The part about the planet Kolob I never believed. But my wife who is an ex-mormon said yep that is what they believe!! LOL
I about rolled on the floor laughing the first time I saw that!!
Death Hag Extraordinaire
I like your attitude!!!!
I am a sick puppy....woof woof!!!
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
Carping the living shit out of the Diem. - Me!!
http://www.pinterest.com/neilmpenny
The vid is in... they made Kenny is the reincarnation of the L Ron Hubbart, it is funny as hell! http://youtube.com/watch?v=yOPY-ur2l98
Renowned Death Hag
Thanks, Danny. Seems like a drunken nightmare!Okay if you are mormon I apologize! Here is a cartoon depicting what the Mormons Really believe!!
Hey I like the many godess wifes and endless sex though!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zy0d1HbItOo
Although the idea of "celestial sex" seems a bit more torrid than "earthly sex"; which BTW; is perfectly acceptable; I'm wondering if there is a way to just jump straight to my own planet and godess wives; skipping the whole Mormon thing. It seems to me that if someone could come up with a proper procedure for that and market it as a religion; it might be a hit.
True story; though:
Several years ago; I stopped at a grocery store across the street from an LDS church. When I went to leave; my truck would not start. I raised the hood and saw lots of corrision on the battery terminals. While trying to remove the cables to clean them; one of the terminals cracked and the battery housing broke open. It's ruined. I need a battery.
About that time; I was approached by two young men in white shirts asking if I needed help. I knew who they were. I did not hesitate to give them my credit cards and ask them to get me a battery; and they did so. I knew it was a safe thing to do.
Naturally; they tried to convert me; and I did let them into my home and read about some of their beliefs; but after a few days; I had to tell them that I just could not accept their core beliefs.
Point is; I'll trust a Mormon stranger with my credit card; and I wouldn't do that with my #3 best friend.
Thanks for this interesting thread!
Holy Shit Dan the Man....where do you get this shit.....LMAO....all I can say is Marie Osmond is in SERIOUS trouble.....no celestial rug-rats for that fair lady.....and forget her own planet.....
Holy Shit Dan the Man....where do you get this shit.....LMAO....all I can say is Marie Osmond is in SERIOUS trouble.....no celestial rug-rats for that fair lady.....and forget her own planet.....
All the women are good for when they die is the sex!! LOL
The guy runs the planet!!!
Thats how the church looks at it!
What a crock of shit.....LMAO...no wonder Miss Marie isn`t worried.....
Oh you should look up "Garments" and "Blood atonement" on a search to really get freaked out about the church!What a crock of shit.....LMAO...no wonder Miss Marie isn`t worried.....
Garments are undergarments married couple wear, they have um, magical powers!! LOL
And blood atonement, which they don't practice much anymore used to be that some sins were so bad the only way you could be saved is by having your blood spilled, like having your throat cut!!
Someone years ago spilled the beans about the secret marriage ceremony and part of the ritual was going thru the motion of having your throat cut!!
NO SHIT!!!!!
Damn, that is some messed up shit.
There is a video out called "The god Makers." An interesting view!! That is where the cartoon clip came from!!
My ex-husband was Morman, and this cartoon explains soooo much!!!! Now I know why he was such a freak!!! Thanks Danny, you rock!!
Yeah if you a mormon who is really into it they can make for interesting people!! LOL
I agree, its not that he was really into it, but he grew up around people who were. It really explains why he treated me the way he did.........*sigh*.... I was only good for sex.......
Yeppers a baby maker!! That is all the LDS girls are supposed to be good for!!
Good thing I'm not an LDS girl..... I really wonder know what he truly thought of me becaus I'm hispanic and I have carmel colered skin, I must be the devil!!!!!
Good thing I'm not an LDS girl..... I really wonder know what he truly thought of me becaus I'm hispanic and I have carmel colered skin, I must be the devil!!!!!
Well you were in between!! LOL
Danny, it's all cool and the gang.
During these serious times people of all faiths should remember these four basic Religious Truths:
1)Muslims do not recognize the Jews as God's chosen people
2)Jews do not recognize Jesus as the True Messiah and Son of God
3)Protestants do not recognize The Pope as the leader of the Christian world
4)Baptists do not recognize each other at Hooters or the Liquor Store, Strip Club, etc you get the point
Disclaimer-I was raised baptist so I can make these jokes. LMAO!!
Hey, I'm a Baptist. You're totally right though. We act like we've never met when I'm dancing on the pole and they're sticking 20s in my cleavage.
Last edited by smellslikealmonds; 02-08-2008 at 08:49 AM.
Guest
We haven't been to church in so long, the walls would probably start shaking if we walked in.
Guest
Yeah I need to keep my kids in church, but if I don't go they won't go.
So I can't get mad at them for not wanting to go.
That's funny!!!
Renowned Death Hag
OK - I was, am and will always be (I guess) a Baptist, but that was funny! Diva, since you "wuz one of us" and now are Episcipol, tell me some of the differences. I really don't know much about them.
For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-39
Guest
LOL! That's funny.
Maybe also a little death haggery too.
Guest
Renowned Death Hag
I thought so to! Which reminds me-my mom is a closet death hag and I catch my five year old eavesdropping on our discussions about FAD! I think she is a death hag in the making! Lord, as soon as she learns to read and write i will probably catch her on the board!
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