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Thread: Funny Headlines

  1. #1
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    Funny Headlines

    Grandmother of eight makes hole in one

  2. #2
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    Haha, that was pretty good!
    The most dangerous woman of all is the one who refuses to rely on your sword to save her because she carries her own.

    - R.H. Sin

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  4. #4
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    I bet the other seven fell right in line.
    Stay in Drugs. Eat your School. Don't do Vegetables.

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    *LOL* I hope she had good reason to do that!=)

  6. #6
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    ROFL - I love these kinds of headlines !


    What fresh hell is this ? ~ Dorothy Parker

    ]

  7. #7
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    Years ago, a friend and I used to swap these from the San Francisco Chronicle. It began with the headline, Red Tape Holds up Bridge.

    In fact, if you google the term, you can probably find many more.

    Granny's feat is right up there, too!

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    Funny Headline for 7/30

    Deaf mute gets new hearing in killing

  9. #9
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    LMAO!

  10. #10
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    Wonder what he will say in his own defense? HHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

    Tha wasn't funny at all, was it?

  11. #11
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    Haha..brad your a nut!



    -Morbs

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    Too funny!

  13. #13
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    That's as good as the TV guide summary for a Dynasty episode, "Krystle turns on Alexis."

  14. #14
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    Excellent! I remember Jay Leno used to read such headlines on The Tonight Show. I don't know if he still does but that one would make it! :0

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vamp View Post
    Excellent! I remember Jay Leno used to read such headlines on The Tonight Show. I don't know if he still does but that one would make it! :0
    YES, he does. Monday nights!!! It's my 2nd favorite show of the week...
    There are only four questions of value in life, Don Octavio. What is sacred? Of what is the spirit made? What is worth living for, and what is worth dying for? The answer to each is the same: only love. ~ Don Juan De Marco

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    Here's a clip of Leno's funny headlines...

    http://www.jibjab.com/view/142858
    Don't make me get the flying monkeys!!

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    Quote Originally Posted by deathybrad View Post
    Deaf mute gets new hearing in killing
    WRONG IN SOOOOOOO MANY WAYS BUT PURE DE GOLD........LMAOOOOOOOOOO

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Karnag72 View Post
    Here's a clip of Leno's funny headlines...

    http://www.jibjab.com/view/142858
    Thanks so much! I can never get enough of Headlines!
    Didn't know that was a thing...

  19. #19
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    Funny Headline for 7/31

    Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers

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    Quote Originally Posted by deathybrad View Post
    Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers
    Count on it, pee-drinking crap face!

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    Sounds good to me, now thats proactive.

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    Talking

    Quote Originally Posted by msmojorisin84 View Post
    Nip it in the bud!

  23. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alanwench View Post
    Nip it in the bud!
    Poor ole Emma Watson must be at it again with her jay-walkery.
    Count on it, pee-drinking crap face!

  24. #24
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    Here's one that relates to this board....

    Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

    hehehe



    There's no one better than Eddie Vedder! <3

  25. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mrs. James Dean View Post
    Here's one that relates to this board....

    Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

    hehehe
    I think I may have pissed myself laughing at that one, thanks!!
    Count on it, pee-drinking crap face!

  26. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by mrs. James dean View Post
    here's one that relates to this board....

    typhoon rips through cemetery; hundreds dead

    hehehe
    roflmao!!!

  27. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mrs. James Dean View Post
    Here's one that relates to this board....

    Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

    hehehe

    Hahahaha I wonder what the person who wrote this was smoking lmfao

  28. #28
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    15 points for a jaywalker!
    The most dangerous woman of all is the one who refuses to rely on your sword to save her because she carries her own.

    - R.H. Sin

  29. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nessa View Post
    15 points for a jaywalker!
    I wanna ride with you!

  30. #30
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    Stiff opposition expected to casketless funeral plan
    John Trim On Face Book
    On the internet you can be anything you want.
    It is strange that so many people choose to be stupid.



  31. #31
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    Death causes loneliness, feeling of isolation
    John Trim On Face Book
    On the internet you can be anything you want.
    It is strange that so many people choose to be stupid.



  32. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by John Trim View Post
    Death causes loneliness, feeling of isolation
    I think it has something to do with that stupid box they put you in..,

  33. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by howdidyoubuyit? View Post
    i think it has something to do with that stupid box they put you in..,
    roflmao
    John Trim On Face Book
    On the internet you can be anything you want.
    It is strange that so many people choose to be stupid.



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    Funny Headline for 8/1

    Two convicts evade noose, jury hung

  36. #36
    Do you think some of these headline writers are trying to be funny, as opposed to being clueless?

  37. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by Blondin View Post
    Do you think some of these headline writers are trying to be funny, as opposed to being clueless?
    Prolly a little of both - lol
    Quote Originally Posted by stacebabe View Post
    The only reason I watched the entire thing was because I was wondering who the middle aged lesbian white woman was in the house full of Armenians. Then I found out it was Bruce Jenner.

  38. #38
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    that's a job I'd like to have, making up funny headlines

  39. #39
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    I'm not creative enough... But I would enjoy the fruits of your labor!

  40. #40
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    Funny Headlines for 8/12

    William Kelly was fed secretary

    or

    Milk drinkers are turning to powder

    or

    Is there a ring of debris around Uranus?

  41. #41
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    Quote Originally Posted by deathybrad View Post
    William Kelly was fed secretary

    or

    Milk drinkers are turning to powder

    or

    Is there a ring of debris around Uranus?
    Comedy drum roll please

  42. #42
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    Ha ha!
    The most dangerous woman of all is the one who refuses to rely on your sword to save her because she carries her own.

    - R.H. Sin

  43. #43
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    LOL

  44. #44
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    Ah, I needed that today. Thanks!

  45. #45
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    Truly funny!!!

  46. #46
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    Quote Originally Posted by deathybrad View Post
    William Kelly was fed secretary

    or

    Milk drinkers are turning to powder

    or

    Is there a ring of debris around Uranus?
    The "rimshot" plays right into the Uranus joke...oooo painful!
    Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth. --Oscar Wilde

  47. #47
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    Quote Originally Posted by deathybrad View Post
    William Kelly was fed secretary
    I wonder if she tasted like chicken?
    There are only four questions of value in life, Don Octavio. What is sacred? Of what is the spirit made? What is worth living for, and what is worth dying for? The answer to each is the same: only love. ~ Don Juan De Marco

  48. #48
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    I know this is not a funny situation. Yet if you read it another way,at least I found it amusing:
    'Georgia attacks Russia'
    "The South will rise again-whoooo!'
    (yes, I know, it is not Georgia the state-I still found it funny though)

    *Boy what did that secretary do to get fed to William Kelly?*=)

  49. #49
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ken View Post
    The "rimshot" plays right into the Uranus joke...oooo painful!
    Quote Originally Posted by Pryncis View Post
    I wonder if she tasted like chicken?



    *chuckles*

  50. #50
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    Funny Headlines for 8/13

    Two sisters reunite after eighteen years at checkout counter

    or

    Miners refuse to work after death

    or

    Enraged cow injures farmer with ax

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