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Thread: Canadians: The Most Evil Race on Earth?

  1. #1
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    Canadians: The Most Evil Race on Earth?

    This is from yesterday's edition of a UK tabloid called Sunday Sport:
    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails Click image for larger version. 

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  2. #2
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    These are the first few lines, plus, in order to give credit where it's due, a link to the page:

    To most people, the Canadians are a somewhat dull, simple witted people who inhabit our world without creating too many ripples.
    Solid, honest, dependable … if a little boring.

    Think the Belgians but with polar bears and warmer winter coats.
    But – much like Belgians, as it happens – a Canadian’s soul is as black as the pine pitch with which he glues together his cosy log cabin home.
    Whether clubbing a seal or machine- gunning an Eskimo, the Canadian is never happier than with the warm smell of fresh death in his nostril.
    Over the past week we have seen the barbaric alleged crimes of Ontario-born Luka Magnotta unfold before a vomiting world.

    To Canadians, committing a brutal sex crime is as normal as attending an ice hockey match, or fishing for supper through a hole cut in a frozen lake.

    http://www.pressdisplay.com/pressdisplay/viewer.aspx

  3. #3
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    Geez, Duster. Ima scared of you now.
    GOD IS NOT DEAD





  4. #4
    Bbeelzebub Guest
    Everybody knows Canadians are evil. I'm surprised the media is just finally catching on now.

    Exhibit A- Celine Dion


    I rest my case.

  5. #5
    Carrie Guest
    Well now, I don't feel so bad telling people I'm from Detroit.

  6. #6
    Redbelle Guest
    You'd just have to know a race of people that nice was up to something. "Here, have some tim hortons coffee. Do you know Mike from canmore" *Thunk!* <drags poor unsuspecting foreigner back to his igloo to do dastardly things>

  7. #7
    Nelliebean Guest
    Those stinkin' Canadians are also known for their filthy kitchens.

  8. #8
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    Howzabout no, D. Everyone knows the most evil race on earth are Belgian Adoptees.
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  9. #9
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    Machine Gunning Eskimos would be a great name for a band.
    "We've had threads about guys fucking picnic tables, animals and dead bodies. Third boob ain't going to stop a damn thing." - cleanskull

  10. #10
    Mammy Guest
    LOL, you're right! It sounds like a band that would play the kind of ear splitting shit that my son likes.

  11. #11
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    holy fuck.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  12. #12
    Flowergrrl Guest
    Maybe there is something in the water. Don't forget the guy who killed the man on the Greyhound bus... He stabbed his victim repeatedly, cut off his head, then started eating him. In front of everyone! And, the monster who did it was from China.

    I'm more worried that you can kill a bunch of people in Canada and they will let the person off with just a slap on the wrist.

  13. #13
    Flowergrrl Guest
    You could look at it this way... Luka didn't do anything Dahmer hasn't done 17 times.

  14. #14
    Rosebud666 Guest
    If it weren't for ice hockey, they would have annexed the Suedetenland by now.

    It's only ice hockey what keeps 'em in check

  15. #15
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    And we in the U.S. are worried about the Mexican border.

  16. #16
    tarsier Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by Flowergrrl View Post
    You could look at it this way... Luka didn't do anything Dahmer hasn't done 17 times.
    sure he did: Luka all but advertised sending parts in the mail. I always thought it was a tie between Canadians and Australians not so much evil but gorey killers.

  17. #17
    Jacksmum Guest
    That picture of Holmoka and Bernardo are not them, those pics are from the movie, and I wasn't aware the Canadians are a 'race'.

  18. #18
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    As long as beer is legal in Canada, the rest of the world will never have to worry about them.

    Seriously though, The United States would never have been very successful if any other country but Canada bordered us in the north. Suppose we had been instead bordered on the north by countries like Spain or Russia? We would not have progressed as far as we have if we would have to fight a border war every ten years.

    Canadians are no angels. I do submit they are the best of a bad lot. Canada is the most beautiful place on Earth IMHO.
    "Everybody is born, and everybody dies. Being born wasn't so bad , was it?"
    Peter the Hermit

  19. #19
    Seagorath Guest
    That kid decapitated on that bus...by an Asian immigrant. Leave Canada alone. They are harmless. The BRITS are FAR WORSE and have BAD TEETH AND HYGIENE. At least the Canadians bathe and have control over their government. The BRITS are slaves to some sort of monarchy that should have been destroyed 200 years ago. The end. The Brits need to go to the dentist and learn about mouth wash for a change.

  20. #20
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    The funniest stereotype in that article? The one that says we have souls "as black as the pine pitch with which he glues together his cosy log cabin home"

    The strangest: The one that compares us to Blegians. I mean, wtf?!?!? We get called all sorts of things. But Belgians?

    And for any of you Americans who might now be tempted to be suspicious of us, remember this police report from an Oklahoma newspaper:

    10:10pm Suspicious people were reported doing something with flashlights by the side of North Fifth street in Custer. A deputy checked and found the people were not suspicious, but merely Canadian. The out-of-towners were enjoying an evening stroll.

    We really are completely harmless.
    Aren't we?

  21. #21
    Nelliebean Guest
    Aww... we just messin' wicha!

  22. #22
    Nelliebean Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by Rosebud666 View Post
    If it weren't for ice hockey, they would have annexed the Suedetenland by now.

    It's only ice hockey what keeps 'em in check
    You have half the members scrambling for their history books.

  23. #23
    TheMysterian Guest
    Just because one group of people adds "eh" at the end of every sentence does not make them evil...."EH"

  24. #24
    pwem Guest
    OMG!! LOLOL!!! @ all of ya!

    It's all that Tim Horton's coffee we drink and those damn Timbits!

    And let's not leave out cross dressing colonels in the Air Force who are actually serial killers.

    Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! It's a laff riot up here!

  25. #25
    Rosebud666 Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by Nelliebean View Post
    You have half the members scrambling for their history books.
    I actually have that stuck in my head from a Monty Python sketch. Graham Chapman is playing a guy who is running for town councilor or president of the men's choir or something and they ask him what his first act will be if he takes office, and he says "the first thing I would do is annex the Suedetenland!" :-)

  26. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by pwem View Post
    OMG!! LOLOL!!! @ all of ya!

    It's all that Tim Horton's coffee we drink and those damn Timbits!

    And let's not leave out cross dressing colonels in the Air Force who are actually serial killers.

    Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! It's a laff riot up here!

    Wasn't it more pleasant when we were just considered to be dull, inoffensive and polite?

    One other thing: the only Canadians who say "eh" a lot are kinda lower class and uneducated.
    I say it A LOT. Can't help it.

  27. #27
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    Oh dear God! I can literally see Canada from my back yard! I just knew all that polite driving and power shopping on Victoria day was hiding their evil ways.
    Archer Fact: You canâ??t tourniquet the taint. (Source: Ray Gillette)

  28. #28
    Mammy Guest
    That dude that liked to feed his victims to the pigs is a scary sumbitch!

  29. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mammy View Post
    That dude that liked to feed his victims to the pigs is a scary sumbitch!
    Yes, but as we now know....typical of the Canadians
    Archer Fact: You canâ??t tourniquet the taint. (Source: Ray Gillette)

  30. #30
    Nelliebean Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by Mammy View Post
    That dude that liked to feed his victims to the pigs is a scary sumbitch!
    Do we have him on FAD?

  31. #31
    Mammy Guest
    I've seen him discussed in other threads about Canadian crimes and killers, but I couldn't find a thread specifically for him. There is tons of information on the internet about him though.

    http://www.vancouversun.com/news/Pic...225/story.html

  32. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jacksmum View Post
    That picture of Holmoka and Bernardo are not them, those pics are from the movie, and I wasn't aware the Canadians are a 'race'.
    but aside of that, it's a well-researched article?! lmao
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  33. #33
    pwem Guest
    When Vancouver had the winter Olympics there were actually some critics who slammed us because our closing ceremonies weren't dignified. Damn, this is what we are about! We can laugh at ourselves! We can take a joke with the best of them and give ourselves a poke in the ribs. Very few countries in the world are capable of that.

    ((((((((Americans))))))

  34. #34
    Redbelle Guest
    Vancouver? You're laid back? Didn't you guys go apeshit over a hockey game awhile back?

  35. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by homesgirl View Post
    Oh dear God! I can literally see Canada from my back yard! I just knew all that polite driving and power shopping on Victoria day was hiding their evil ways.
    At least you know what Victoria Day is lol

    Quote Originally Posted by Redbelle View Post
    Vancouver? You're laid back? Didn't you guys go apeshit over a hockey game awhile back?
    That's allowed. That's hockey.

    And now, Rob Lowe appears to have discovered our awful secret. He's in Winnipeg shooting a movie and yesterday tweeted that he was "trapped in a hellhole."
    http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/art...158879305.html

  36. #36
    Jacksmum Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by duster View Post

    And now, Rob Lowe appears to have discovered our awful secret. He's in Winnipeg shooting a movie and yesterday tweeted that he was "trapped in a hellhole."
    http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/art...158879305.html
    I guess he's joining the ranks of Jan Arden being kicked off a train and left in the middle of nowhere - Oshawa!

  37. #37
    pwem Guest
    Crap, I posted a thread about it.

    Sorry.

  38. #38
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    Just so you know - this "newspaper" is a joke here in the UK. It's has lead stories such as "A London Bus found on the Moon"! It is well known for its pictures of unclothed buxon women. I thought it has ceased publishing - which it should do printing this garbage!

  39. #39
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    That's pretty funny. I guess they are on to us now!

  40. #40
    Jacksmum Guest
    Heading to England next Saturday, guess I shouldn't wear my Canadian stuff I am bringing Maple Syrup though, that might be a giveaway.

  41. #41
    pwem Guest
    Wear your maple leaf with pride. Be careful where you put it

  42. #42
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    "Canadians:the most evil race on earth"

    This sounds like something PM Stephen Harper
    or former PM Brian Mulroney would say because
    they seem to hate Canada.

    In that they love all things American.

    They so want us to be the 51st State of America.
    (shame on them)
    Some of us love Canada.
    Carolyn(1958-2009) always in my heart.

  43. #43
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    Phew! Glad I'm 2,000 miles away! Maybe we should send some of our Border Patrol agents up there?
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  44. #44
    Rosebud666 Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by michihunt View Post
    Phew! Glad I'm 2,000 miles away! Maybe we should send some of our Border Patrol agents up there?
    Jesse Ventura, Garrison Keillor, and the US Navy Walruses are already on the case.

  45. #45
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    Jesse Ventura. What a dipshit of a governor of Minnesota that guy was!
    .

  46. #46
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    Well it was nice while it lasted but we all knew the truth would rear it's ugly head one day.
    "Death has come to your little town, Sheriff." -Dr. Loomis

  47. #47
    Rosebud666 Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by SomeChick View Post
    Jesse Ventura. What a dipshit of a governor of Minnesota that guy was!
    You're going to regret saying that when those black hot air balloons start spilling US Navy Walruses onto your front lawn.

    As for the evilness of those sneaky Canadians, they have the gall to have a national anthem that is nicer than ours. Listen to "O Canada" backwards a couple of times - something isn't right there!

  48. #48
    Jacksmum Guest
    Another thing to add to us "Evil Canadians" - This is about Russell Williams, convicted killer sitting in the Kingston Pen.

    http://www2.macleans.ca/2012/06/14/e...ers-a-defence/

  49. #49
    Nelliebean Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by Jacksmum View Post
    Another thing to add to us "Evil Canadians" - This is about Russell Williams, convicted killer sitting in the Kingston Pen.

    http://www2.macleans.ca/2012/06/14/e...ers-a-defence/

    I saw his interrogation on one of those crime shows. His body language said it all!

  50. #50
    Nelliebean Guest
    You guys DO have better bacon.

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