Page 1 of 84 1231050 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 50 of 4197

Thread: Aviation

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    2,813

    Aviation

    SAN JOSE, Calif. - Maybe he thought it would make his car fly.

    A 20-year-old man is accused of breaking into a small airport and trying to fill up his car's gas tank with aviation gasoline.

    "We've had people try and steal gas here in the past," said Jim Meide, who works at Reid-Hillview Airport.

    "It's really stupid. Put aviation gas in your car and it's so heavily leaded that eventually your valves warp and you'll end up with some very expensive repairs."

    The suspect was arrested Sunday night on suspicion of driving while intoxicated and attempted theft. But he probably wasn't trying to save money.

    The aviation fuel in the pumps used for aircraft and race cars was going for $5.97 a gallon, accessed only by a credit card, authorities said.

    "Sometimes," Meide said, "these people have the notion that since it's racing fuel it'll make their car go faster."

    Airport officials are investigating the security breach.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Posts
    3,922
    Thats hilarious. Race fuel and making his car go faster..LMAO.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    Concord , California, United States
    Posts
    7,032
    Thats the dumbest thing ive ever seen. Since normal gas had gone down to 3.95 a gallon

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Myrtle Beach, SC
    Posts
    2,503
    Oh, I was kinda hoping there would have been some type of cool explosion. He's just another dumb criminal...
    There are only four questions of value in life, Don Octavio. What is sacred? Of what is the spirit made? What is worth living for, and what is worth dying for? The answer to each is the same: only love. ~ Don Juan De Marco

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    2,258
    "Super Genius"...




    -Morbid1

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Gastonia, NC
    Posts
    2,284
    Waiiitttt.....this was an episode of Family Guy!! lol....
    You would think he would have learned from Peter Griffin's mistake...

    Does Barry Manilow know you raid his wardrobe?

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    Azusa, California
    Posts
    8,204
    This thread would have been much funnier if it had been entitled..."Man accused of pumping his car."...

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    canadia
    Posts
    4,601
    Quote Originally Posted by Seagorath View Post
    This thread would have been much funnier if it had been entitled..."Man accused of pumping his car."...
    l think there actually IS a thread on that. l seem to remember a discussion on the tail pipe....

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Gastonia, NC
    Posts
    2,284
    Quote Originally Posted by Finnegan View Post
    l think there actually IS a thread on that. l seem to remember a discussion on the tail pipe....

    Funny the things that stick in your mind, Finn...
    haahahahahahahaaaaaaa

    Does Barry Manilow know you raid his wardrobe?

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    12,281
    Quote Originally Posted by Finnegan View Post
    l think there actually IS a thread on that. l seem to remember a discussion on the tail pipe....
    Wasn't that the thread about the guy that got caught having sex with his picnic table? LOL!
    Quote Originally Posted by stacebabe View Post
    The only reason I watched the entire thing was because I was wondering who the middle aged lesbian white woman was in the house full of Armenians. Then I found out it was Bruce Jenner.

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Posts
    1,920
    Quote Originally Posted by Morbid1 View Post
    "Super Genius"...




    -Morbid1

    LMAO! And we all know how things always ended up for him ....

    *falling down cliff with the little poof of dust at the end*

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    960
    Quote Originally Posted by jay View Post
    "It's really stupid. Put aviation gas in your car and it's so heavily leaded that eventually your valves warp and you'll end up with some very expensive repairs."


    Morb....make sure not to run 100 in your Goat or Chevy.....you might bend a valve! My tip to you...hehe
    Last edited by Ron Burgundy; 07-31-2008 at 05:27 PM.

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Maryland
    Posts
    4,508
    what a flaming dumb ass !!


    What fresh hell is this ? ~ Dorothy Parker

    ]

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    West Virginia
    Posts
    1,051

    Exchanges between pilots and control towers: Funny!

    Came across these, and figued it was time for a laugh or two again..... ________________________________ Tower: "Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o'clock, 6 miles!" Delta 351: "Give us another hint! We have digital watches!"

    ________________________________ Tower: "TWA 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 Degrees." TWA 2341: "Center, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?" Tower: "Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?"

    _______________________________— From an unknown aircraft waiting in a very long takeoff queue: "I'm f...ing bored!"

    Ground Traffic Control: "Last aircraft transmitting, identify yourself immediately!" Unknown aircraft: "I said I was f...ing bored, not f...ing stupid!"

    _______________________________— O'Hare Approach Control to a 747: "United 329 heavy, your traffic is a Fokker, one o'clock, three miles, Eastbound." United 329: "Approach, I've always wanted to say this...I've got the little Fokker in sight."

    _______________________________— A student became lost during a solo cross-country flight. While attempting to locate the aircraft on radar, ATC asked, "What was your last known position?" Student: "When I was number one for takeoff."

    ________________________________
    A DC-10 had come in a little hot and thus had an exceedingly long roll out after touching down. San Jose Tower Noted: "American 751, make a hard right turn at the end of the runway, if you are able. If you are not able, take the Guadeloupe exit off Highway 101, make a right at the lights and return to the airport."

    ________________________________ My favorite. A Pan Am 727 flight, waiting for start clearance in Munich , overheard the following: Lufthansa (in German): "Ground, what is our start clearance time?" Ground (in English): "If you want an answer you must speak in English." Lufthansa (in English): "I am a German, flying a German airplane, in Germany . Why must I speak English?" Unknown voice from another plane (in a beautiful British accent): "Because you lost the bloody war!"

    ________________________________ Tower: "Eastern 702, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on frequency 124.7" Eastern 702: "Tower, Eastern 702 switching to Departure. By the way,after we lifted off we saw some kind of dead animal on the far end of the runway." Tower: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff behind Eastern 702, contact Departure on frequency 124.7. Did you copy that report from Eastern 702?" Continental 635: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff, roger; and yes, we copied Eastern... we've already notified our caterers."

    ________________________________ One day the pilot of a Cherokee 180 was told by the tower to hold short of the active runway while a DC-8 landed. The DC-8 landed, rolled out, turned around, and taxied back past the Cherokee. Some quick-witted comedian in the DC-8 crew got on the radio and said,"What a cute little plane. Did you make it all by yourself?" The Cherokee pilot, not about to let the insult go by, came back with a real zinger: "I made it out of DC-8 parts. Another landing like yours and I'll have enough parts for another one."

    ________________________________ The German air controllers at Frankfurt Airport are renowned as a short-tempered lot. They not only expect one to know one's gate parking location, but how to get there without any assistance from them. So it was with some amusement that we (a Pan Am 747) listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground control and a British Airways 747, call sign Speedbird 206. Speedbird 206: " Frankfurt , Speedbird 206! clear of active runway." Ground: "Speedbird 206. Taxi to gate Alpha One-Seven." The BA 747 pulled onto the main taxiway and slowed to a stop.

    Ground: "Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?" Speedbird 206: "Stand by, Ground, I'm looking up our gate location now." Ground (with quite arrogant impatience): "Speedbird 206, have you not been to Frankfurt before?" Speedbird 206 (coolly): "Yes, twice in 1944, but it was dark, -- And I didn't land."

    ________________________________ While taxiing at London 's Airport, the crew of a US Air flight departing for Ft. Lauderdale made a wrong turn and came nose to nose with a United 727. An irate female ground controller lashed out at the US Air crew, screaming: "US Air 2771, where the hell are you going? I told you to turn right onto Charlie taxiway! You turned right on Delta! Stop right there. I know it's difficult for you to tell the difference between C and D, but get it right!" Continuing her rage to the embarrassed crew, she was now shouting hysterically: "God! Now you've screwed everything up! It'll take forever to sort this out! You stay right there and don't move till I tell you to! You can expect progressive taxi instructions in about half an hour, and I want you to go exactly where I tell you, when I tell you, and how I tell you! You got that, US Air 2771?" "Yes, ma'am," the humbled crew responded. Naturally, the ground control communications frequency fell terribly silent after the verbal bashing of US Air 2771. Nobody wanted to chance engaging the irate ground controller in her current state of mind. Tension in every cockpit out around Gatwick was definitely running high. Just then an unknown pilot broke the silence and keyed his microphone, asking: "Wasn't I married to you once?"

  15. #15
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Posts
    3,740
    LMAO!!! Those are hilarious!

  16. #16
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    SE Saskatchewan, Canada
    Posts
    8,804
    oh god. That's hilarious!
    You can't "nu uh" death. That's bad debating.

  17. #17
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Geelong, Australia
    Posts
    18,395
    Bigfoot, our toe sucking banned member posted a bunch of these quite a while ago. Always good fun to re-visit.
    I am a sick puppy....woof woof!!!

    Carping the living shit out of the Diem. - Me!!
    http://www.pinterest.com/neilmpenny

  18. #18
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    West Virginia
    Posts
    1,051
    Quote Originally Posted by neilmpenny View Post
    Bigfoot, our toe sucking banned member posted a bunch of these quite a while ago. Always good fun to re-visit.
    I'm sorry I dont understand what you mean

  19. #19
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Johnny Cashville
    Posts
    22,611
    Haha those were nice. i don't remember Bigfoot's thread. I probably tried to block it out of memory.

    You don't mess with friggin Dave Coulier click here to mess

  20. #20
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Johnny Cashville
    Posts
    22,611
    Quote Originally Posted by dstrattenfan View Post
    I'm sorry I dont understand what you mean

    He means another member posted these before.

    You don't mess with friggin Dave Coulier click here to mess

  21. #21
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Geelong, Australia
    Posts
    18,395
    Quote Originally Posted by RaRaRamona View Post
    He means another member posted these before.
    Another toe sucking member posted these before.
    I am a sick puppy....woof woof!!!

    Carping the living shit out of the Diem. - Me!!
    http://www.pinterest.com/neilmpenny

  22. #22
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Posts
    858
    That's good stuff, DSF! Thanks for the giggles...

  23. #23
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    West Virginia
    Posts
    1,051
    ok every story I post has been posted before I do the google search and al the search on the forum it's self....I use key words can anyone help me???

  24. #24
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Johnny Cashville
    Posts
    22,611
    Quote Originally Posted by neilmpenny View Post
    Another toe sucking member posted these before.
    Yes yes I did forget the most important & disgusting point.

    You don't mess with friggin Dave Coulier click here to mess

  25. #25
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    West Virginia
    Posts
    1,051
    Ok now I'm really confused did someone suck a toe?????

  26. #26
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    1,666
    I really, really enjoyed those!
    Thanks for the humor dstratten fan.

  27. #27
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Posts
    4,070
    LMAO, those are great. I really like the last one.

  28. #28
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    Somewhere twixt San Antonio & Corpus Christi
    Posts
    8,274
    A deer is on the runway... so...
    Tower: Cessna XXX cleared for take-off.
    Student: "What should I do? What should I do?"
    Inst: "What do you think you should do?"
    (think-think-think)
    Std: "Maybe if I taxi toward him it'll scare him away."
    Inst: "That's a good idea."
    (Taxi toward deer, but deer is macho, and holds position.)

    Tower: Cessna XXX cleared for take-off, runway NN.
    Std: "What should I do? What should I do?"
    Inst: "What do you think you should do?"
    (think-think-think)

    Std: "Maybe I should tell the tower."
    Inst: "That's a good idea."
    Std: Cessna XXX, uh, there's a deer down here on the runway.
    (long pause)
    Tower: Roger XXX, hold your position. Deer on runawy NN cleared for immediate departure.
    (Two seconds, and then -- I presume by coincidence -- the deer bolts from the runway, and runs back into the woods.)
    Tower: Cessna XXX cleared for departure, runway NN. Caution wake turbulence, departing deer.
    It had to be tough keeping that Cessna rolling straight for take-off.



    Controller: "USA353 (sic) contact Cleveland Center 135.60.
    (pause)
    Controller: "USA353 contact Cleveland Center 135.60!"
    (pause)
    Controller: "USA353 you're just like my wife you never listen!"
    Pilot: "Center, this is USA553, maybe if you called her by the right name you'd get a better response!"

  29. #29
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Middle Earth
    Posts
    13,061
    Quote Originally Posted by dstrattenfan View Post
    Ok now I'm really confused did someone suck a toe?????


    It happened a while ago, no slam toward you. Funny post.
    Some days, you get the Bear, other days the Bear gets you.

  30. #30
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Idaho
    Posts
    3,487
    The controller working a busy pattern told the 727 on downwind to make a three-sixty -- do a complete circle, a move normally used to provide spacing between aircraft. The pilot of the 727 complained, "Don't you know it costs us two thousand dollars to make even a one-eighty in this airplane?"
    Without missing a beat the controller replied, "Roger, give me four thousand dollars' worth."

  31. #31
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Newark, Delaware
    Posts
    4,079
    Those are funny! And I remember Bigfoot...how could one forget?


  32. #32
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    Somewhere twixt San Antonio & Corpus Christi
    Posts
    8,274
    Controller: "Air Force 53, it appears your engine has... oh... disregard, I see you've already ejected."

  33. #33
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Geelong, Australia
    Posts
    18,395
    Quote Originally Posted by dstrattenfan View Post
    ok every story I post has been posted before I do the google search and al the search on the forum it's self....I use key words can anyone help me???
    Don't sweat it too much mate. Just do your search and if you cannot find anything on it then post away. No foul. If there is an existing post on the topic someone will remember and it will get merged.

    Dont let this stop you from posting ok?
    I am a sick puppy....woof woof!!!

    Carping the living shit out of the Diem. - Me!!
    http://www.pinterest.com/neilmpenny

  34. #34
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Posts
    372
    These are hilarious too:

    After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft.

    The mechanics correct the problems; document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

    Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor.

    Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.

    P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
    S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

    P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
    S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

    P: Something loose in cockpit.
    S: Something tightened in cockpit.

    P: Dead bugs on windshield.
    S: Live bugs on back-order.

    P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
    S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

    P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
    S: Evidence removed.

    P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
    S: DME volume set to more believable level.

    P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
    S: That's what they're for.

    P: IFF inoperative.
    S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

    P: Suspected crack in windshield.
    S: Suspect you're right.

    P: Number 3 engine missing.
    S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

    P: Aircraft handles funny.
    S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

    P: Target radar hums.
    S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

    P: Mouse in cockpit.
    S: Cat installed.

    And the best one for last...

    P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
    S: Took hammer away from midget

  35. #35
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Toledo, Ohio
    Posts
    464
    Quote Originally Posted by Adiposeur View Post
    These are hilarious too:

    After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft.

    The mechanics correct the problems; document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

    Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor.

    Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.

    P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
    S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

    P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
    S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

    P: Something loose in cockpit.
    S: Something tightened in cockpit.

    P: Dead bugs on windshield.
    S: Live bugs on back-order.

    P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
    S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

    P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
    S: Evidence removed.

    P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
    S: DME volume set to more believable level.

    P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
    S: That's what they're for.

    P: IFF inoperative.
    S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

    P: Suspected crack in windshield.
    S: Suspect you're right.

    P: Number 3 engine missing.
    S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

    P: Aircraft handles funny.
    S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

    P: Target radar hums.
    S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

    P: Mouse in cockpit.
    S: Cat installed.

    And the best one for last...

    P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
    S: Took hammer away from midget

    those funny mechanics! poor midget though. it's only thing to do while under the instrument panel.
    -::-
    . .))
    ((. .. Missa-::-
    -::- ((.*

  36. #36
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Middle Earth
    Posts
    13,061
    The big diff between the pilots and the jets they fly is at least the jets engines stop whining at the gate.
    Some days, you get the Bear, other days the Bear gets you.

  37. #37
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    1,334

    Aviation

    This thread is for anyone interested in aviation. Professionals and enthusiasts are welcome.

  38. #38
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Posts
    1,941
    Cool! What's your thoughts when you hear about a plane crashing? Do you go over in your head what could have gone wrong? Wondering if you knew any of the crew... stuff like that.

  39. #39
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    5,307
    Cool!

  40. #40
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    San Diego, CA
    Posts
    533
    Disappointed no UFOs, but the sunsets and sunrises must be wonderful to see! I hope you post more pics in the future.

  41. #41
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    1,334
    Yes, Gemini33, whenever there is an aviation accident, I like to learn as much as possible about the suspected cause. I have a bachelor's/aerospace engineering so my interest includes human factors and root cause analysis. I think pilots can learn from the mistakes of others and apply what is learned about the accident to their daily duties if they fly commercially.

  42. #42
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    1,334
    On my personal page here, I have created an aviation folder and I have posted a few pictures there. I intend to update it with new pictures as time allows.

  43. #43
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    5,307
    Have you ever flown into Princess Juliana Airport (SXM) in St. Maarten? St. Maarten was a stop on a Disney Cruise I took, I rented a car and headed to Maho Beach to check out the low flying aircraft. Needless to say, the beach was full of plane geeks.


  44. #44
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    1,334
    The lightning-bolt shaped phenomena on the windscreen is known as St. Elmo's fire. St. Elmo's fire is an electrical weather phenomenon in which luminous plasma is created by a coronal discharge originating from a grounded object in an atmospheric electric field.



    To answer your question Barbossa, yes I have been to Princess Juliana International Airport (PJIA) in St. Maarten many times. Very interesting place!
    Last edited by joS3ph; 02-17-2011 at 02:27 PM.

  45. #45
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    646
    I'm positive that I'm going to love this thread. Thanks, JoS3ph! Is there such a thing as a plane hag?

  46. #46
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    1,334
    You can be our first plane hag SueWahoo!

  47. #47
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    Disgusting state of NJ
    Posts
    3,399
    Knowing what you know as a pilot would you be nervous flying a (or in) an A380 with the engine problems?
    How do you feel about airlines using the smallest possible aircraft to fly coast to coast. My son flew from Newark to San Francisco and he was on a 737. This makes me nervous because there's not that much safety room fuel wise I believe.
    I would feel safer if he at least flew using a 757.
    I think they overuse the 737 to a point where metal fatige could be a problem down the road.
    Sorry about asking all these questions but how often do you get to talk to a pilot.
    When I'm near or on a plane I'm like a kid in a candy store.
    When you lose a parent you lose your past. When you lose a spouse you lose your present. When you lose a child you lose your future.
    R.I.P Kim: http://www.findagrave.com/cgi-bin/fg...336317&df=all&
    R.I.P Dad http://www.findagrave.com/cgi-bin/fg...&GRid=93315851
    R.I.P Mom http://www.findagrave.com/cgi-bin/fg...&GRid=97780420

  48. #48
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    5,307
    My engineering sense tells me that there are still bugs to be worked out in the A380 design. Some bugs don't reveal themselves until a system has had a lot of hours put on it. Personally I won't fly in a '380 until it has a couple more years under its belt.

    The 737 is still in production whereas the last 757 rolled off the line a few years ago. You can find the age of any aircraft on the web, this website is an example:

    http://www.airfleets.net/home/
    Last edited by Barbossa; 02-17-2011 at 04:03 PM.

  49. #49
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    1,334
    I agree with Barbossa. The Airbus A380, Boeing 747-8 Intercontinental and the Boeing 787 all have had their share of "teething" problems, and they will continue to have problems for some time to come.

    In regards to the 737, your son is quite safe. Even if on board fuel reserves was an issue, there are plenty of airports to land at between Newark and San Francisco should low fuel become an issue. If the pilot is doing his/her job, fuel should not be an issue. The flight management system (FMS) will also display insufficient fuel for a particular flight if the mileage exceeds the available fuel.

    Metal fatigue has become an issue and the FAA is looking at ways of dealing with aging aircraft.

  50. #50
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    Disgusting state of NJ
    Posts
    3,399
    I had no idea the 757 was stopped. WOW. I know they just rolled out a new 747.
    When you lose a parent you lose your past. When you lose a spouse you lose your present. When you lose a child you lose your future.
    R.I.P Kim: http://www.findagrave.com/cgi-bin/fg...336317&df=all&
    R.I.P Dad http://www.findagrave.com/cgi-bin/fg...&GRid=93315851
    R.I.P Mom http://www.findagrave.com/cgi-bin/fg...&GRid=97780420

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •